Weird Blog

Super Bowl Live Blog!

2010-02-07T15:35:00.000-08:00

Random in-game thoughts from our resident 12-year-old football analyst:

Saints win the the toss. Now they have to punt.

It's hard to root against Peyton Manning, but it's also hard to root against the Saints. So I'm not sure.

It appears Dwight Freeney is playing, which is good, because now people won't talk about it anymore.

Dallas Clark makes a 15-yard catch for an Indy first down.

So the Colts got a field goal, and the Saints defense looked very bad. They have a lot of work to do if they want to stop the Colts' offense.

Saints fumble on the kickoff, but recover, and since there's a commercial break I think that's the end of this update.

The Saints had to punt, and their defense is once again being completely and totally inept, this time in stopping the running game. Also, I just did some drumming. I'm hoping that the Colts will be held to a field goal so that New Orleans has a chance to win the game.

Well, Pierre Garçon catches a touchdown pass, and I'm worried the Saints are going to be too demoralized to win.

Confirming my suspicions that the Saints would have trouble winning: apparently the largest comeback in Super Bowl history is ten points.

As the Saints get a field goal, I note that the motivation for Dwight Freeney's probably came from what Gregg Williams said about giving Peyton Manning some "remember me" hits. Freeney just applied it to Drew Brees.

It looks like the Saints are going to get points on this drive, which is good for their sake. That was a great pass downfield by Drew Brees... but the reverse afterward was a huge loss, so they are going to have to get their momentum back if they want a touchdown.

And so the Saints get a deep pass inside the five yard line. But a pass for no gain on first and goal and a false start call kill their momentum.

And since the Saints have been stopped on fourth down, they give Peyton Manning the ball with two minutes left, which is never a good idea, as has been evidenced by other drives earlier in the playoffs.

It looks like the Saints are going to narrow their deficit to four, which will help their morale going into the half.

Halftime. The Colts were superior at the beginning; New Orleans started to overtake them, but that fourth and goal derailed a pretty good drive.

SECOND HALF

[The onside kick] was a nice move, and the Indianapolis kickoff team just didn't know what they were doing. So the Saints have good field position.

Pierre Thomas continues to have a big impact on the game, and New Orleans scores. I actually saw a thing on ESPN this morning comparing who would have the better game, Pierre Thomas or Pierre Garçon, and so far they've both scored touchdowns, and they've been among the top performers for their respective teams.

I missed the last Indianapolis touchdown, but it'll definitely help their cause to finally have an offensive explosion.

The Saints can't let the Colts keep the ball for much longer. If they score a touchdown, that makes the situation much more difficult. If they get a field goal, that's fine, but still not good.

Indianapolis went for it on fourth down and succeeded, but Matt Stover missed the field goal, so the Saints get the ball with lots of time.

The Saints got a great touchdown drive, but they just barely missed the two-point conversion, which is very advantageous for the Colts.

Seeing the replay, it really looks like it's in the end zone. AND IT'S REVERSED!

I had no idea that interception was coming, but it looks like that's the end of the game for the Colts.

I think the MVP of the Super Bowl is going to be Drew Brees. He should complete one more pass so he can get the record.

The Colts have a very slim chance, but for some reason I doubt they're going to be able to recover the onside kick -- if they score a touchdown, that is.

And Manning throws an incompletion on fourth down.

It's great that the Saints finally got a Super Bowl win, although you have to feel bad for Peyton.

I voted for Drew Brees to be the MVP.

* * *

TREMENDOUS GAME!

Folks, this concludes our final football blog of the season -- and what a great season it was. We may check in on the NFL draft in April. But until then, for the last time in the 2009 season, here comes the part where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

This is going to be a great offseason. There are a lot of big-name free agents and rookies.

NFL Interview - It's a Ridiculous Week for the Pro Bowl Edition

2010-01-29T10:14:00.000-08:00

Folks, we took a few weeks off there, but really not much has changed. We thought it was going to be a Colts-Saints Super Bowl, and so it is. The Jets' brief Cinderella run? The "can the Cards do it again" talk? The flurry of "Favrvrvrvre returns to the Big Game" hype? All mere digressions on the way to the inevitable.

Which brings me to the first question for our very-soon-to-be-12-year-old football analyst.

How much more interesting would this Super Bowl be if it were, as it looked to be several weeks back, a battle of undefeateds?

Much more interesting. Nonetheless, the matchup is physically the same as it was when both teams were undefeated.

Do you think the Colts erred by resting their starters in the fateful Jets game?

Yeah. Then the Jets would never have gotten into the playoffs at all, and the Texans would have been creamed by the Bengals.

The Jets, the Cowboys, the Vikings... all heavily hyped teams who proved to be flashes in the pan. Which of these teams will be a genuine threat next season?

The Jets have a lot of potential. They and Dallas are both teams on the rise. As for Minnesota, they will, but only if Brett Favre is the starter at quarterback.

Could any team that missed the playoffs have given the Colts or Saints a run for their money? If so, who?

Hmm...not many of them. Perhaps the Steelers.

Which players and coaches impressed you the most during the playoffs?

Darrelle Revis, definitely. He made an amazing pick against San Diego. And another Jet, Rex Ryan. Gotta love that personality. As for the NFC, Reggie Bush proved that he isn't a bust.

Which players were the most shocking tank jobs? Which coaches the biggest dopes?

Chad Ochocinco did absolutely nothing for Cincinnati. Honestly, there were many more good performances than bad ones.

Once again, Favrvrvrvre's "career" "ends" with a devastating interception in a playoff game. Do you think that vacillating, jeans-pimpin' yahoo is finally gone for good?

With Favre, there's no way to know.

If so, what of the Minnesota quarterback situation? Will it be Tarvaris (shudder)?

Him or Rosenfels (double shudder).

Which other teams need to think about new QBs next season?

Rams, Seahawks and perhaps the Bills, although I'm sure many other teams will take quarterbacks in the first few rounds.

Any predictions for the early rounds of the NFL draft?

Well, the first three picks will involve some combination of Ndamukong Suh, Jimmy Clausen, Gerald McCoy, Sam Bradford, Russell Okung and Eric Berry. It's kind of up in the air.

I wanna get your take on Tim Tebow Tim Tebow. Who's gonna get him, and will they let him play quarterback?

If the Jaguars or Redskins get him, he will play quarterback. Others will give him a chance. The rest will make him an H-back.

What do you think of your Raiders' decision to retain Tom Cable as coach?

Well, although he may be a criminal, and the fact that the Raiders could definitely do better, he might be able to help them turn things around.

How do you feel about the shift of the Pro Bowl to the week before the Super Bowl (and your birthday)?

Well, now I can't watch it.

...

No one else seems to like it either, and in 2011 and 2012, it's headed back to Honolulu.

Did you vote for the Pro Bowl? Care to share any of your selections?

A while ago. I can't remember much, but I can tell you that I didn't even vote for every position. Anyway, my picks were fairly normal. I voted for Jairus Byrd, one of my new favorite players. (He was a second-round draft choice and led the AFC in interceptions. He was tied with three others for the league lead.) Unfortunately, he had to drop out due to injury.

Okay, here it comes. Predict the final score of the Super Bowl.

Colts 31, Saints 28. Peyton Manning throws a touchdown pass to Pierre Garcon with thirty seconds left; Drew Brees' pass is batted down by Jacob Lacey on fourth down.

We'll do a final post-S.B. wrap-up blog in two weeks. Until then, here comes the part where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

Well, actually, I may write on Monday about the Senior Bowl and the Pro Bowl.

But anyway...

Almost every quarterback who was initially invited to the Pro Bowl isn't playing.

NFL Week 15 Interview - Fantasy Triumph Edition

2009-12-23T10:53:00.000-08:00

Well! Lots to talk about in this, your Merry Pre-Christmas edition of the Internet's finest NFL blog. Our 11-year-old sports analyst is standing by to comment on all the week's action.

Q. We have to start with your triumph in Yahoo Fantasy league football. After opening the season 3-5, your team Hypnotic won six of their last seven games to storm into the playoffs and now the league championship. How do you feel?

Excited, but worried about the upcoming championship.

Q. What was the greatest factor in your team's success?

Tom Brady's failure when it mattered most. 7.16 points?

Q. Who are the bedrock players that, week in and week out, made the greatest contribution?

In order:

1. Peyton Manning
2. Brandon Marshall
3. Miles Austin

Q. Who were your best late-season pickups?

Josh Cribbs, Jamaal Charles and Garrett Hartley.

Q. You have an uncanny ability to make last-minute adjustments that pay big dividends. For example, picking up Brandon Marshall shortly before his record-setting 21-catch game last week, or adding Josh Cribbs ten minutes before game time on a day when he returned two kickoffs for touchdowns. Are you psychic? Where does this skill come from?

Well, I actually picked up Marshall before Week 1. But this skill comes mostly from reading the Add/Drop section of WalterFootball.com. I'm just pretty lucky.

Q. What's the worst decision you made along the way?

When I first dropped Miles Austin.

Q. What have you learned from this year that will enable you to be even more dominant next year?

Get a better draft, and those late-season pickups may not be necessary.

Q. Your team climbed up from the cellar and is now challenging Wrecking Crew, the team with the best record through the regular season, for the league crown. How do you like your chances to Win It All?

Well, I'm honestly a little pessimistic. If Adrian Peterson is shut down by Chicago, I think I'll win.

Q. Okay, on to the actual NFL. You and I have talked a lot about the logjam of 7-7 AFC teams currently angling for a playoff spot. Who's most likely to break through?

Pittsburgh, but I doubt they will anyway.

Q. The Saints finally dropped a game, putting an end to their dream of an undefeated season. Do you think this harms or improves their chances of winning the Super Bowl?

I don't think it'll affect them, other than demoralizing them a little. They're still the same team.

Q. What about the Colts? Do you see them resting the starters down the stretch, risking a loss that would blemish that perfect record?

Unfortunately for Hypnotic, I think they probably will.

Q. This past week Michael Irvin created quite a stir by claiming that he would trade all his Super Bowl rings for an undefeated season. What are your thoughts on this comment?

Ridiculous. Are you serious? Why in the world would you do that?

Q. Spotlight on the Seattle Seahogs. What a pathetic mess of a team. I was actually pleased to see them pass on rehiring Mike Holmgren; now I'd like to see them show Jim Moron the door as well. What do you think this team needs to do to once again become competitive?

Get a real running back, a quarterback of the future, and some real wide receivers. Nate Burleson? T.J. Houshmandzadeh? Deion Branch? Come on.

Q. A wild and woolly game gave the Raiders a victory over the slumping Broncos. Did JaMarcus Russell salvage his career with that final drive, or is his still this year's Ryan Leaf?

Well, he certainly helped his cause, but he still needs to be like that for a whole season to avoid the "bust" tag.

Q. Speaking of slumps, the Vikings are now looking extremely beatable. Is Favrvrvrvre tiring as the season wears on, or are their other factors?

It's the whole team. They shouldn't even have to rely on Favre. Favre shouldn't even be on the team in the first place.

Q. What'd you think of Favrvrvrvrvrvrvrvre overruling Brad Childress to stay in the game? Does this player outrank his own coach?

No, apparently it was just about control over the offensive playcalls. Still, I can't imagine Matt Stafford arguing about that sort of thing.

Q. We rarely discuss things like this, but what are your thoughts on the tragic death of the Bengals' Chris Henry?

It's pretty sad. He was just starting to peak in the NFL, too. And he was learning from his mistakes.

Q. Quick Cleveland Browns question: Has Brady Quinn earned a permanent spot as their starter? He seems to perform best in impressive losses.

He didn't lose. Anyway, he seems to have done so, but for now, he's on IR.

Q. How about Alex Smith of the Niners? Does he keep his job?

He's good, and I think he will, but let's see who starts next season.

Q. Despite their heartbreaking last-second loss to the Snorthlisbergers, I still like the Packers to go far in the playoffs. You?

Yeah, me too. Their offense is really good.

Q. I think the Chargers are sort of sneaking up on people because their season started so poorly. Is this team a Super Bowl threat?

I think that they couldn't make it past the Colts if they had to, so no.

Q. Now for a few random questions. Your thoughts on Monday Night announcer Jon Gruden?

He's going left to right on my radio, and he's the heart and soul of this football team.

Q. I think you know that my favorite sports quotes include "I couldn't care less about the team struggling" (J. Namath) and "Do you know where Charlotte, North Carolina is now, baby?" (L. Lathon). What are yours?

Well, those are good, but I like "Playoffs??" (Mora Sr.) and "We talking bout practice!" (Iverson).

Q. Now comes the part where Hen -- best of luck next week, buddy! -- gets to type whatever he wants.

Weirdly enough, Crazy-Jay's Steelers defense got -3 points.

NFL Week 14 Interview - Fantasy Playoff Edition

2009-12-14T20:01:00.000-08:00

We have just turned off the Cardinals-Niners contest, which has to be the most excruciatingly slow football game in recent memory. Seriously, these teams took over an hour just to play the first quarter. I'm sure even if it takes 'til our eleven-year-old football analyst's bedtime to finish this post, the teams will still be slogging their way through yet another booth review of an obvious Larry Fitzgerald reception.

Q. Well! Lots of extracurricular stuff to start with. Talk about how your fantasy team, Hypnotic, managed to roar into the playoffs with an absolutely spectacular showing this week.

Yep. About seventy points from Marshall, Manning and the Titans combined.

Q. This past weekend you visited the Fox Sports complex in Century City and got a glimpse behind the scenes at Fox NFL Sunday. Share some of your impressions of the day.

Well, it seemed like everyone else was a regular, and we were new. It was nice to learn how pregame shows are filmed.

Q. What did you think of Michael Strahan?

He was rather nice, and the only one of the pregame show people who felt like interacting with us.

Q. Would you like a 12-monitor setup with infrared headsets like they had in the Avocado Room?

I have to admit, flipping through audio inputs on a headset was cool.

Q. Let's take stock of the season thus far. Improbably, there are still two undefeated teams, the Colts and the Saints. Who's stronger?

The Saints. They had to make fewer comebacks earlier in the season, and they have better running backs.

Q. Which is more likely to go undefeated throughout the regular season?

Probably the Saints. December-Cowboys, Bucs and Panthers as opponents. The Colts have the Jags, Counterfeit Bills and the J-E-T-S.

Q. Why? Are they simply going to ease up down the stretch, resting the starters, or are they an unstoppable force?

Even if the Saints rest their starters, they have easier matchups. I think the Colts could probably go undefeated as well, but maybe not if Curtis Painter starts at QB. For Hypnotic's sake, let's hope he doesn't.

Q. Talk about how the Patriots behave in times of adversity. (Bad Citizen Randy Moss is a quitter, hint hint.)

They may have won, and that's mainly what matters, but they sure played a bad game.

Q. Which team with an unimpressive record is most likely to dust themselves off and make a startling playoff run?

None of them. Seriously. If I had to choose a 7-6 team, I would say Baltimore because their schedule is easiest. They just have to beat the Hypocycloids (Steelers) on the twenty-seventh.

Q. As we go team by team, I'd like to start with the Falcons, who looked mighty impressive in a near-upset of the Saints. Has Chris Redman proven himself a viable starter?

Yeah, but as long as Matt Ryan is in Fatlanta, he'll be a backup. Maybe he'll start in St. Louis next year if they draft Suh.

Q. Philly has a lot of offensive firepower, even if Michael Pick is little more than a footnote. Are the Egos one of those Teams to Watch Out For?

I suppose, although it might be difficult to succeed in the playoffs. I predict a loss in the divisional round.

Q. Dallas is collapsing right on schedule. What is the deal with this team and December?

I really don't know. Overconfidence? Wade Phillips said he had a team of winners a week ago. For his sake, hopefully he'll still be in charge of his team of losers next year.

Q. Tennessee beat up on those wascally Wams, but even a 47-7 victory didn't tell me much about this schizophrenic franchise. What's your tite on the Takans?

Well, if they had overcome the Colts, they could be in the playoff race. There's always next year. Kerry Collins could be a Ram too...Adam Schefter thinks Vick could be the starter next year.

Q. Let's talk for a moment about pouty, petulant Jay and His Cutlery. I haven't enjoyed watching a quarterback lose this much since John Elway. What happened to this guy? Was he overrated in Denver, or is he underrated in Chicago?

Neither. He was pretty good in Denver, now he's not great in Chicago.

Q. I'd be surprised if more than five people were interested in the outcome of Buffalo/Kansas City. Do you think the Bills will nab the Ratcoach, or will Shanahan scamper off to nibble at some other team's cheese plate?

Well, the Cowboys' ricotta could be more appetizing, or even the Redskins' if either of those coaches were fired.

Q. I was deeply disappointed to see the Farvrvrve machine roll over the Bengals, 'cause Cincinnati is one of those teams I'd like to see go the distance. Does this loss put a dent in their postseason aspirations?

Only if other AFC teams are smart enough to look at that game tape.

Q. Who is the world is going to start at QB for the Raiders with Bruce Graduate-of-Kowski injured? Dare they allow JaMarcus Fumble to take the field?

They don't have a choice.

Q. What was your take on the Heisman Trophy? Did Ingram deserve it, or would you have gone with a boy named Suh?

I honestly hoped Suh would win. I like that guy.

Q. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this season of Friday Night Lights.

Well, it's okay. Some of the storylines are mind-numbingly boring. I could use more football.

Q. Speed game! Write the first phrase that comes to mind when I mention the following miserable franchises:

Bills ....................Former coach Jauron
Steelers .................Roethlisberger
Browns ...................Flash formation
Jaguars ..................Garrard
Texans ...................2002
Redskins .................Campbell's Soup
Lions ....................Browns-Lions
Panthers ................."Daylight coming, you gotta Delhomme"
Bucs .....................Corn on the cob
Seahawks .................Hassle them back

Q. Now comes the point where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

Even though I predicted that the Ravens would get the sixth seed, I still want them to lose to the Raiders in Week 17.

NFL Week 12 Interview - Fantasy Nailbiter Edition

2009-11-30T20:42:00.000-08:00

As we type these words, Henry's team Hypnotic is clinging to a ten-point lead over Crazy-Jay in the fourth quarter of the Monday night game -- but CJ has both Tom Brady and Wes Welker, while Hypnotic is only carrying Saints kicker John Carney. Let's hope for a second half featuring lots of long, grueling Saints drives capped by field goals....

Well, we skipped a week again, but all that does is give us more to discuss with our resident 11-year-old football analyst. Let's get to it!

Q. Couple quick questions about college football as the season draws to a close. What was your favorite game from Rivalry Weekend and why?

Cal-Stanford, from last week, because Cal won in a dramatic finish.

Q. I'd like to get your thoughts on the grisly end of the USC-UCLA contest. Do you think Pete Carroll was a bad sport to call that play-action bomb? Was Rick Neuheisel for calling a pointless time-out?

Pete Carroll was a horrible sport. That's like the definition of bad sportsmanship. As for Neuheisel, maybe it was pointless, but it wasn't bad sportmanship either.

Q. This gives us a perfect segue to the thrilling Titans-Cardinals game, which rematched former Rose Bowl foes Vince Young and Matt Leinart. How 'bout that 99-yard drive Young engineered to win the game? Has this guy finally come of age?

It appears that he has. He no longer has just raw talent, he has full-fledged talent.

Q. What about Leinart? Does he have a future as a starter after yet another mediocre performance?

Only if he's given time to develop. Remember, that was VY's fifth game. Leinart didn't know he was starting until midday, but he still isn't doing very well despite that.

Q. Another wild finish was Atlanta's triumph (in throwback gear no less) over the hapless How Much Does That Corn Cost Buck-an-Ears. Your thoughts on reliever Chris Redman?

Well, he's a great backup with starting experience. The question is, can he beat the Eagles defense?

Q. Speaking of relievers, I thought Dennis Dixon looked impressive in a losing effort for the Steelers. With Big Ben's brain rattling around inside his cranium, could Dixon be Pittsburgh's quarterback of the future?

Chances are, he'll end up as the backup quarterback of the future. Ben hasn't actually been around for too many years. Maybe in a couple years, he'll get traded to a team that will give him a chance to start.

Q. Matthew Stafford slumped a bit after a spectacular Week 9 performance. How long will it be before the Lions are truly contenders?

A few more years. Maybe it would help to sign some big-name free agents.

Q. We talked about this on our walk yesterday: What's the next move in the Raiders' rebuilding operation? Head coach? Quarterback? Will JaMarcus Russell be part of the equation?

Both. Knowing Al Davis, he'll probably get Bobby Petrino and Colt McCoy, or someone like them.

Q. The Denver Bwoncos look to be on the rebound, while the Giants are continuing their slide. Which one of these teams is most likely to make the playoffs, and why?

Denver, and they might win their division. The Giants have a very difficult schedule coming up, although they might make the playoffs anyway.

Q. Buffalo gave Perry "Rocket" Fewell his first victory, but we've been hearing rumblings (or more accurately rodent-like scrabblings) of a Return of the Ratcoach in Buffalo. Is Shanahan a good fit for this franchise?

Well, Shanahan's teams always have an identity, usually of carrying many different running backs that all contribute, and the Bills only somewhat fit in that regard. In fact, they only somewhat fit in general. I bet he'll do well if he's hired, though.

Q. Speaking of franchises, they're not calling Mark "the Sanchise" much in NYC anymore. What happened after to the ace we saw in the first few weeks of the season?

I'm not positive. Perhaps he cracked under the pressure, or simply started facing better defenses and more difficult circumstances.

Q. Philly stole one from Washington in a game which featured a few pointless Michael Vick appearances. What is this guy doing with the Eagles, anyway?

Nothing. That's the only way it can be described.

Q. I did not even watch Seattle/St. Louis, that's how disenchanted I am with this team. Where should the Seahogs' reboot begin? You mentioned a good backup QB....

Yeah, but Mike Teel could be too low of a draft pick to ever make a difference in the NFL. As I said on our walk, they could use a real running back, or the second running back of a running back-by-committee that would include Justin Forsett.

Q. Looks like Jake Delhomme will be mercifully benched by the Panthers because of an alleged finger fracture. Yeah, the exact part of the finger that causes tons of interceptions. Do you think untested backup Matt Moore can save the Cats' season?

Well, he's hardly untested. He has playing experience. Nevertheless, he's simply a mediocre quarterback, and the Cats need to win five straight to even have a chance at the playoffs, including a game against New Orleans.

Q. Cincy continues to roll, this time behind a 100-yard rushing performance by bad citizen Larry Johnson. Is it wrong that this creep is effectively being rewarded for bad behavior?

Well, he's doing a good job from someone who has gone from starter to fourth running back. But remember that he had served his suspension. The Chiefs just decided to move on.

Q. Indy pulled out a victory against Houston. Do you think this team can go undefeated?

They can, but they can't come back from every big deficit. If this keeps happening, they'll lose.

Q. Our last question is on Tim Tebow Tim Tebow. Is he as good as they say? Will he pick the top pick in next year's draft? And if so, where do you think he will end up?

No, and he'll be in either Jacksonville or Washington. That is my bold prediction.

Q. Now comes the part where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

It's really sad that I went from starting Ronnie Brown and Brian Westbrook in fantasy football to Bernard Scott and Justin Forsett.

NFL Week 10 Interview - Midseason Edition

2009-11-16T21:21:00.000-08:00

Yes, folks, we skipped another week; hence the general sense of ennui you feel about your life and the world around you. But do not despair, gentle reader, for we are BACK at the season's midpoint for a thoughtful assessment of all the NFL action. Our resident 11-year-old football analyst is mere feet away, playing NCAA 10 on our new HDTV, as I compose these questions....

Q. Gotta start with the play that dominated sports talk radio for the entire day, and will probably continue doing so for the remainder of the week. What did you think of Bill Belichick's go-for-it call on fourth and 2? Smart or stupid? Did it ultimately cost the Patriots the game?

Well, I didn't see it occur. But I can tell you that when you're Bill Belichick, you expect your team to convert. It's still inexcusable to go for it, especially on your own 28. And it did cost them the game.

Q. Lost in all of this Monday morning quarterbacking is the fact that after the failed attempt the New England defense simply folded, allowing the Colts to move thirty yards in a matter of seconds for the go-ahead touchdown. Were they just demoralized by their coach's apparent lack of faith in them, or what?

That, but more importantly, they had given up a huge lead.

Q. Another big story is the emergence of the Bengals as a genuine division leader with their impressive defeat of the Steelers. Is this team good enough to go the distance?

Not the Super Bowl distance, but certainly the divisional round distance. I don't think they could beat the Colts right now.

Q. What did you think of their signing of bad citizen Larry Johnson?

Well, I mean, Marvin Lewis claims it has nothing to do with the Cedric Benson injury, but can the Bengals really rely on a rookie from Abilene Christian?

Q. Kyle Snorton went down with an injury in the Broncos' unexpected loss to the Redskins. Does this sound the death knell for a Denver season which started so promisingly?

I heard he would play next week, but I still think they're on a steep decline.

Q. Speaking of former Broncos, can we talk about the mess in Chicago? Jay and His Cutlery is a pouty, pick-throwing disaster. What's going on there?

I really don't know. Maybe they should go to their running game. After all, they have Matt Forte.

Q. I cannot explain either the Falcons or the Seahawks week to week. It seems impossible to tell if either of these teams is any good. Which do you think has a better chance to make a postseason run?

The Falcons. Although the Seahawks started out well, I simply cannot see why they are doing so badly.

Q. Has Matt Hasselbeck lost it? What needs to be done in Seattle to make this team competitive?

He's not a bad quarterback. However, Seattle needs a decent running game. Justin Forsett is improving, though. He just got his first 100-yard game.

Q. Meanwhile, the Titans and Panthers seem to be rebounding from bad starts. Can they put together solid seasons in the time remaining?

Well, the Titans already have six losses in a tough wild card race. They're also in a difficult division. It doesn't look good. As for Carolina, their situation is just as bad. Their main competition is Atlanta, San Francisco, Philadelphia, New York, Green Bay and Chicago. Sounds hard.

Q. What's with Vince Young finally getting it together? What's changed in Tennessee to enable him to perform better?

He is compelled to prove himself. The starting job was simply given to him before.

Q. Brett Favrvrvrvre is on fire right now, with his aging arm showing remarkable range and accuracy. Do you think he'd be competing with this kind of fire if he were still in Green Bay?

Why wouldn't he be? Although his supporting cast is better in Minnesota, that wouldn't change his level of play. He does have more motivation now that he's playing for a division rival, though.

Q. Of the current glut of bad teams -- let's say KC, Oakland, Cleveland, Detroit, St. Louis and Tampa Bay -- which has the best chance to make a surprising late season run and why?

None of those five will make the playoffs. Tampa Bay and St. Louis are the best of them, though.

Q. Totally out of the news: Terrell Owens. Is this gentleman's career effectively over?

I don't think so, but he needs to contribute more if he wants to keep his career going.

Q. Many are continuing to predict a Colts-Saints Super Bowl at this point. What do you think?

I'd say that the Saints will definitely be there, but that Indianapolis could slip up.

Q. How's fantasy football treating you? I know you managed to eke out a narrow victory this week. Do you think your Hypnotic squad can make the playoffs?

No. But there's a small chance.

Q. Finally, we have the part where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

In my fantasy football league, you always start with 10 points because the defense gets 10 for the defense's opponent being shut out. (0-0, anyone?)

NFL Week 8 Interview - "Pump It, Louder!" Edition

2009-11-01T18:11:00.000-08:00

Sometimes we skip a week, sports fans, just to make you appreciate us. Last week we were still recovering from Sunday night's U2 + Black Eyed Peas show at the Rose Bowl, so we never got around to posting an update. But now we are back with all the trenchant analysis you've come to expect from the Internet's finest sports blog.

Q. I want to open with a non-sports question: What'd you think of the U2 concert?

Although it was a little disappointing, it was still a great spectacle.

Q. How was it seeing an arena show with an audience of nearly 100,000 people?

Amazing. I don't think I've even encountered 100,000 people in my entire life.

Q. Which band impressed you the most?

The Black Eyed Peas put on a much more exciting show. They were somewhat more impressive.

Q. Finally, talk about your Halloween costume and the genesis thereof.

I dressed up as "Punk Rock Spock". Basically, I bought a Spock costume and pointed ears. Then I put a safety pin through one ear, attached pins saying "No Future" to the shirt and wore some studded wristbands.

Q. Okay, on to football. Apparently the bookmakers are getting killed this season because the separation between the really good teams and the really bad teams is more pronounced than it's been in years. Does it seem that way to you?

Yes, but there aren't too many outstanding teams. It seems like there are bad teams, okay teams and pretty good teams.

Q. Name four elite teams and your assessment of their playoff chances.

Indianapolis, New Orleans, New York (the Giants) and New England. Indianapolis is potentially the best team in the AFC, and I think they will go far. With the Giants' loss, New Orleans is the undisputed best team in the NFC. Let's see how they do against Atlanta. The Giants lost today and last week, but are still a good team. I predict they will lose in the divisional round after beating some weaker wild card. And finally, the Patriots are better than they appear.

Q. Another reason this is an unusual year is the dearth of rookie standouts, with hyped newcomers like Mark Sanchez fading down the stretch. Can you pick out any rookies who you feel are making a significant impact right now?

Although Mark Sanchez is fading, he is really helping his team. They wouldn't be as far as they are with Kellen Clemens at quarterback.

Q. The Titans finally picked up their first win today with Vince Young under center. Meaningful?

Eh, it was against Jacksonville. Let's see him against the Colts.

Q. Conversely, the Panthers surprised the Cardinals with the help of a strong performance from Jake Delhomme. Meaningless?

No. Jake Delhomme has realized that unless he does well, he'll be in St. Louis or somewhere next season.

Q. Quick digression to college ball. A lot of people find the college game to be much more entertaining than the pro game. Do you agree?

I'd say that college overtime, and the freedom to attempt more trick plays in college, make it a little more "fun".

Q. We have a new HDTV. Do you enjoy games more in HD, or does it not make that much of a difference to you?

It looks better, and I appreciate that, but it doesn't make me enjoy it more.

Q. What about video games like NCAA 10? Do they look better in HD?

YES!

Q. What's the state of the Wildcat formation at this point? Is it still an effective gimmick, or has it become so quotidian that it's no more special than, say, the shotgun spread?

I like the Wildcat, and it will be here to stay for at least a little while, but unlike the shotgun spread, it's not its own offense.

Q. Which team runs the Wildcat the best?

Miami came up with the original idea, and so has many more wrinkles to offer. They run it best.

Q. What's your favorite throwback uniform?

Either the Bills', or the yellow-helmet Steelers'.

Q. The yearly London games bespeak the NFL's determination to make American football a global sport. Would you favor adding a non-US team to the NFL? If so, which city should get the first foreign franchise?

I understand that it's important for American football to become an international sport, but for whatever reason, the idea of a team from London doesn't intrigue me. I wouldn't be incredibly opposed, though, so if there was a foreign franchise, it should probably be from London. Toronto is a good choice, but it has a CFL team.

Q. Should Los Angeles get a franchise? Which is more likely -- that it's an expansion team, or a team which relocates from somewhere else?

Expansion team. Only the Jaguars and Bills should really consider relocation.

Q. Since we're posting a day early, I challenge you to predict the EXACT FINAL SCORE of the Monday night Falcons-Saints game. Bettors, take note!

31-23 Saints. Sorry.

Q. And now comes the part where Henry gets to type whatever he wants.

With Vince Young now a starter, I wonder what the future holds for Matt Leinart.

NFL Week 6 Interview - Multigenerational Edition

2009-10-19T21:29:00.000-07:00

Welcome back to the Internet's favorite football blog. Our special guest star this week is the 11-year-old pundit's grandfather Lenny, who will intermittently chime in with the pointed questions and fabulous fabrications for which he is so justly renowned.

Q. from Lenny: Here's my question. In England, one of their favorite sports is called football. In the U.S., a favorite sport... also called football. What is the difference between these two footballs?

One is round, and one is a strange diamond shape.

Q. from Jeff: What exactly does it prove when a team racks up 35 points in one quarter? Was it bad sportsmanship? Do you think the Patriots should have let up on the hapless Titans?

They couldn't help themselves -- it was too hard to let up against the Titans, who are suddenly looking terrible.

Q. from Lenny: Who invented football in the United States?

I don't know, actually.

Lenny says: Amos Alonzo Stagg.

Q. from Jeff: Obviously my dad's questions are going to be decidedly different from my own. Here's my next one: How overwhelmingly dominant are the New Orleans Saints? Is it offense or defense which is the key to their undefeated season so far?

Offense, definitely. 27 points isn't that great -- it's just scoring 48 points that makes you win.

Q. from Lenny: If Rush Limbaugh were allowed to buy the St. Louis Rams, in your opinion, would this be good, bad, or indifferent for the team?

It would be bad for their image, and I don't understand how it would help the team itself, because he would be a minority owner in the group.

Lenny: That's a good answer.

Q. from Jeff: Who's the NFL MVP at this point? I know I ask this every couple of weeks, but the answer changes as the season wears on.

As of now, it seems like Drew Brees.

Lenny: You think?

Henry: No one's doing better.

Q. from Lenny: What's your opinion of the Atlanta Falcons?

They're okay, but they could be doing a lot better. They're somewhat of a disappointment.

Q. from Jeff: Vultures are circling Jim Zorn. Would you fire him? And if so, whom would you replace him with?

After losing to the winless Chiefs, it does seem like something needs to be changed with the Redskins -- and it has. Zorn has given up the play-calling duties. If he were to be fired, then I'd expect the Redskins to hire a defensive coach.

Q. from Lenny: Why doesn't the NFL play teams from other countries?

Well, they used to in the preseason -- they played against the Canadian Football League -- but alternating sets of rules became too much of a hassle.

Q. from Jeff: Your fantasy team came in for a bit of a pounding this week. I'm starting to see an essential unfairness built into fantasy football, 'cause if you don't carry the right players, there's simply no way you can win. Thoughts?

Well, that's somewhat the point of fantasy football -- you have to choose the right players.

Q. from Lenny: What is a safety, and how many points do you get?

A safety is when the ball goes out the back of the end zone, or a penalty occurs in the end zone. You get two points.

Q. written by the analyst himself! Are the Raiders any good? They somehow beat Philadelphia.

I wouldn't get my hopes up. Two wins and four losses isn't something to be proud of.

Last Q. from Lenny: Who would you like to buy control of the St. Louis Rams?

Someone who knows what they're doing. It seems like Dave Checketts, who owns a hockey team, would have some experience.

Q.: Why, oh why, did the Ravens' kicker miss that final field goal? I do not know how much more of this Favrvrvrvrvre saga I can stand.

Steven Hauschka is a second-year, inexperienced kicker. Still, he needs to make those kicks.

Q.: My favorite moment of the weekend was the insipid, childish pout on the face of Jay and His Cutlery after he failed to steer the Bears to victory against the Falcons. Name your three favorite moments of the weekend.

1. Raiders run out the clock on Philadelphia.

2. Bills upset the Jets.

3. Dante Wesley gets suspended for his hit on Clifton Smith.

Q.: Finally, after an uncharacteristically chaotic blogging session, we come to America's favorite part, where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

Six overtime games in six weeks... at this rate, there will be seventeen when the regular season ends. There were fifteen last year.

NFL Week 5 Interview - Things Which Don't Make Sense Edition

2009-10-12T20:59:00.000-07:00

Hello again, folks. Welcome back to the only major Internet sports blog which features the deep musings of an 11-year-old football analyst. This week our theme is Things Which Don't Make Sense, but first...

Q. Tell us about your fantasy team's stunning blowout victory this week. What's the secret to Hypnotic's impressive three-game winning streak, and their climb to second place in the league?

Well, I only won this game because Mcmuffin started three players, including Drew Brees, who were on bye weeks.

Q. Okay, on to our theme. I want to talk about a dozen Things Which Don't Make Sense five weeks into the NFL season. Thing One is, of course, the 5-0 Denver Broncos. No more can we say that they've only beaten cupcake teams -- the Pats went down, and went down hard. What do you foresee for the team from Mile High over the next several weeks?

Well, in a somewhat weak division, they'll continue to win some of their games. But they face the Chargers in Week 6, the Ravens in Week 8, the Steelers in week 9, the Chargers again in week 11, the Giants in week 12 on Thursday night, the Colts in week 14 and the Eagles in week 16. In other words, a ridiculously hard schedule. It'll be hard for them make it to the playoffs, let alone stay undefeated.

Q. Thing Two is the Bengals as division leaders. Is this a tribute to the overall ineptitude of the AFC North, or has Cincy finally put together a team worth watching?

The AFC North, besides Cleveland, is actually really good. The Bengals just seem to be superior this year. Yes, their team is worth watching.

Q. Thing Three: the 0-5 Titans. I've said it before -- this team has long been a fashionable Super Bowl pick, but this year they seem to have fallen off a cliff. Are Tennessee fans in for years of rebuilding, or is this just a bad streak?

I really have no idea. It's ridiculous that such a good team is doing so badly. Rebuilding may not be necessary, but it will be at the quarterback position.

Q. Thing Four: JaMarcus Russell's astounding mediocrity. What happened?? Was he simply rushed into the starting job too soon, or do his problems go deeper than that?

He's never been good at all. In the first few weeks, he played okay, but he doesn't seem to be the answer at quarterback. The Raiders, as usual, are the team that needs years of rebuilding.

Q. Thing Five: Cover boy Brady Quinn's slow slide into irrelevance. Will this guy ever start for an NFL franchise, or is he doomed to a role as a marginal backup?

After Derek Anderson's terrible performance, he seems to be the better quarterback in Cleveland. He may not ever be a consistent starter there.

Q. Thing Six: Kyle Orton suddenly looking like Joe Montana. Is he an anomaly, this year's Rex the Gross Man, or has Snorton finally grown into a starter?

He's looking good, but he's been aided by the performances of others like Brandon Marshall and Knowshon Moreno.

Q. Thing Seven: 250 yards receiving for Miles Austin. Who is this guy? Did he just have a once-in-a-lifetime game, or was this week the coming-out party for a major talent?

He may do a lot better than he did before, but don't expect him to break any more Cowboys records.

Q. Thing Eight: 6 to 3? How does an NFL game end 6-3? Are Cleveland and Buffalo really that bad?

Cleveland is. So is Buffalo, but at least they have some promise. All I can say for Cleveland is "2 FOR 17!".

Q. Thing Nine: I hate to even mention this, but for the past two weeks Big Brett Favrvrvre has actually looked like the gunslinger of yore, rather than the Adrian Peterson Handoff Specialist we saw in Weeks 1-3. Can the 40-year-old phenom keep it up?

For this season, but not any more afterwards. NO MORE FAVRE UNRETIREMENTS!!!!!!!!!

Q. Thing Ten: Seattle wakes up and blows out the mercurial Jaguars. Can the Hogs salvage their season with a healthy Matt Hassle-them-back under center?

I'm sure they can. After all, they looked improved to begin with before Sycamore Wallace came in.

Q. Thing Eleven: Michael Vick disappears from the headlines. Wow, that was quick. Is Kevin Kolb really good enough to make Philly fans forget Michael Pick?

No, but Donovan McNabb is. "Eagles steamroll Bucs in McNabb's return", anyone?

Q. Finally, Thing Twelve: Michael Crabtree signs with the Niners. Do you think they had to agree to buy into his "I would have gone higher" fantasies in order to make the deal?

No, he probably was the one that gave in, when the 49ers ~~destroyed the Rams~~ showed some promise.

Q. Now, in the world of things which do make sense, here's the place where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

I wonder if Derek Anderson broke the record for fewest completions in 17 attempts...

NFL Week 4 Interview

2009-10-05T20:28:00.000-07:00

Rrrrrr. So sick of the whole Brett Favrvrvrvre business that I barely have the strength to type these words. But still, the blog must go on. We're here with our resident 11-year-old football analyst for a quicker-than-usual rundown of all the action in Week 4.

Q. A very quick Brett bit of business. Are you impressed by the news that Brett is the only quarterback in NFL history to have beaten all 32 NFL teams?

Definitely. Quarterbacks don't play against, say, teams in the other conference, that often.

Q. I know we touched on this last week, but the Broncos are, incredibly, 4-0. First of all, do you find this a more difficult team to dislike, what with the departure of the Rat-Coach and Jay and His Cutlery? And second, is this a genuinely good team, or just a fast starter which is bound to flame out at some point?

Two of their wins have been ridiculously lucky, but they have talent. They certainly are hard to hate. I don't think it'll be easy for them to finish the season the way they've started it.

Q. Coach Death Pool: Who will be the first coach to lose his job, and why?

It's hard to tell. The coaches of bad teams are all in their first season.

Q. When will Detroit pick up their next victory?

Against the Rams. Worst team in the NFL.

Q. Would you start Tyler Thigpen in Miami?

I thought it would be a good idea before yesterday. Chad Henne had a decent game, so I don't see why they shouldn't start him.

Q. I think that with their latest blowout by the 49ers, your assertion that the Rams are the worst team in the NFL has officially been borne out. What are three things that need to be done to rebuild this franchise?

1) Get a new, non-bust quarterback
2) Find a good coach
3) Draft wisely in general

Q. Will Terrell Owens ever be relevant again?

Because of his big mouth, he'll always be relevant for the media until he retires.

Q. Do you think Tom Brady is back to pre-injury form?

It sure seems like he is. The team isn't as good as it was when he won his third Super Bowl in four years.

Q. What the heck happened to the Titans, a fashionable preseason Super Bowl pick? Do you think they can rebound from their dismal start? What will it take?

I don't know what they can do. Chris Johnson will have to have some great games. And the AFC South is probably now the toughest AFC division.

Q. The Seahawks' electric green uniforms: worst uniform in history? Discuss. If there's a worse one, tell us what it is.

Well, I have absolutely no idea where the uniforms came from, or why Seattle wore them. At least they're not as bad as the original Bucs uniforms.

Q. If you were the Niners, would you renew talks with Michael Crabtree? Why/why not?

Well, after shutting out a division rival, I don't know if they need him. They don't seem to even care about his fantasies about being picked seventh overall.

Q. Is the Redskins' victory over the How Much Does That Corn Cost Buccaneers meaningful, or just a beatdown of a miserable opponent?

It wasn't a beatdown, it was a three-point victory. Still, it was almost an embarrassing loss, and it doesn't mean much in the big picture.

Q. What did you think of all the pink breast cancer awareness uniform accents? Who did it the best?

Chad Ochocinco's were the most noticeable, and talked-about, accents. I haven't seen anything particularly interesting enough to outdo him.

Q. New Orleans: unstoppable Super Bowl team?

So far, they've been unstoppable, but they probably will slip up sometime. Against Atlanta, hopefully.

Q. I know you are reluctant to pick a favorite NFL player. Who do you think is the most likable player?

Well, I'm not sure about this one. Reggie Wayne is pretty likable.

Q. Do you have a favorite coach?

Maybe Mike Tomlin.

Q. I like to check in on this occasionally: what are your most despised sports clichés?

"Left to right on your radio". Is something moving across my radio? Also,
"As cool as the other side of the pillow". *cough*Stuart Scott*cough*

Q. Jon Gruden: good broadcaster or lousy?

He's decent. He's a nice color commentator to replace Kornheiser.

Q. Has playing fantasy football enhanced your enjoyment of the game? How's your team doing?

My team's now 2-2. Hopefully I can continue my winning streak against "Mcmuffin".

Q. Finally, do you have a favorite sportswriter? A while back you picked a favorite sports book, but I've forgotten what it was. What is it these days?

I don't know many sportwriters, but I've always liked Sal Paolantonio's book, The Paolantonio Report.

Q. Now comes the point where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

The question is, who will be the first quarterback to lose to all 32 teams?

NFL Week 3 Interview

2009-09-28T17:35:00.000-07:00

New deal! We're taking a break from our usual game-by-game format to get a general Week 3 assessment from our resident 11-year-old football analyst.

Q. I want to run down the seven undefeated teams and get your take on which ones are for real. The questions are a) are they a good team or just lucky, and b) can they keep it up? (Don't just give one-word answers; your faithful readers are yearning for some of your inimitably colorful sportswriting.)

1) Jets

Good or lucky?

Oh, they're good. Three important wins have come already.

Can they keep it up?

Well, when the Patriots meet the Jets again later in the season, expect Bill Belichick to have prepared them well. Still, I think they'll make the playoffs if they play the way they have in these first weeks.

2) Ravens

Good or lucky?

Well, Baltimore is somewhere in between. Two of their wins have come against incredibly weak teams - Kansas City and Cleveland - but they did beat San Diego. So, in other words, they're good, but their 3-0 start could be a fluke.

Can they keep it up?

Perhaps, but I don't know about them beating the Steelers, Vikings and Patriots, who all are on their schedule. They'll probably make the playoffs, but they won't be undefeated for much longer.

3) Colts

Good or lucky?

Everyone knows the Colts have talent after these three weeks! I think their blowout of Arizona, who were coming off of an utter destruction of Jacksonville (who the Colts barely beat, oddly enough) proves that they aren't just lucky.

Can they keep it up?

Their schedule doesn't look too difficult, but they need to watch out for Houston.

4) Broncos

Good or lucky?

L-U-C-K LUCK LUCK LUCK! They looked good in two easy victories, but they needed a miracle to beat Cincinnati.

Can they keep it up?

I doubt it. Remember, they still have to play against San Diego twice.

5) Giants

Good or lucky?

They are a serious contender for the NFC East title.

Can they keep it up?

Well, the Cowboys have looked good too, and they will face off against them again later in the season. They also must try to beat Philadelphia twice and San Diego once.

6) Vikings

Good or lucky?

Lucky, of course. How often do you win on a Hail Mary pass?

Can they keep it up?

Don't think so. Hard division, and they play the whole AFC North.

7) Saints

Good or lucky?

They're pretty good. But remember, two of their wins have come against pretty bad teams: Detroit and Buffalo.

Can they keep it up?

They'll get many more wins this season. But expect a serious challenge when they battle the Jets next week.

Q. Conversely, we now have seven teams which have yet to win a game. I'd like to know a) are they truly bad or just unlucky, and b) do you think they can turn it around? (Again: no one-word answers.)

1) Dolphins

Bad or unlucky?

Fairly unlucky (they lost Chad Pennington for the season), and also pretty bad.

Can they turn it around?

It's getting worse and worse. There isn't much time left for Miami to turn things around.

2) Browns

Bad or unlucky?

Bad. When you bench a quarterback fans beg for you to start, you have to be pretty bad.

Can they turn it around?

Unlikely. They play the Steelers twice. Enough said.

3) Titans

Bad or unlucky?

Pretty unlucky. All three games of theirs have been lost by either one touchdown or one field goal.

Can they turn it around?

I think they can, but it won't be easy.

4) Chiefs

Bad or unlucky?

They're definitely bad. Unfortunately for me, a Raiders fan, it's considered to be pretty horrible to lose to Oakland.

Can they turn it around?

No. They need more time. Maybe next season.

5) Buccaneers

Bad or unlucky?

This question shouldn't even be asked when you're benching your starter for JOSH JOHNSON.

Can they turn it around?

I highly doubt it. Remember, they still must play every divisional opponent of theirs twice.

6) Rams

Bad or unlucky?

Bad, again. Personally, I think they're the worst team in the NFL. Something must be done about Marc Bulger.

Can they turn it around?

Not this year. But if the offseason goes well, and they get a good draft, who knows what might happen? More hope here than in Kansas City.

7) Panthers

Bad or unlucky?

Pretty bad. Jake Delhomme really needs to improve if they want to turn things around.

Can they turn it around?

Well, it won't be easy if they want to, because the quality of play they've been exhibiting will not help them through their games against Atlanta and New Orleans.

That's all for now, fans. Now comes the part where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

Finally, a win for my fantasy team! 91-81. It's time to turn things around. I play the only winless team next week.

NFL Week 2 Interview

2009-09-21T19:45:00.001-07:00

Welcome back to Week 2 of the NFL season. Our 11-year-old football analyst is taking a break from Madden 10 to run down all the exciting action.

Q. Your fantasy team took a beating this week. What happened, and what moves do you plan to make to remedy this?

I'm trying to claim Mario Manningham off waivers! He had a great week.

Q. How big is was that Jets' victory over the Patriots? How much do you think Rex Ryan's trash-talk had to do with their win?

Well, the fans were all very enthusiastic, and that helped. But so were the players. Under Mangini, they couldn't win. Now they have under Rex Ryan.

Q. Sports Illustrated referred to my Falcons as "the quietest 2-0 team out there." Do you agree? What do you think their record will be after eight games?

They're not too quiet, I think the 49ers are more quiet... but the Falcons will be 5-3 after eight games.

Q. I felt bad for Aaron Rodgers -- the Pack really should've won that game against the Bengals, but they simply ran out of time. How would you assess this year's Packer team? Do they rank with the great Favre-led teams?

They're better than a lot of Favre-led teams, but they can't compare with the teams led by greats like Forrest Gregg, Bart Starr and Paul Hornung.

Q. Speaking of Fav-ray, he is having a singularly undistinguished season thus far. Is he doing anything right now that Tarvaris Jackson couldn't do?

Well, he's an experienced veteran who's won a Super Bowl and CAN help the team more than a young, inconsistent backup.

Q. Every year the Texans are a vogue-y pick to make the playoffs, and every year they disappoint. Could this be the season they finally make a run?

We'll have to wait and see. Against one great defense, they lost by seventeen. Against another, they scored in the thirties. What??

Q. The Cardinals finally looked a bit Super Bowlish this week, but the Steelers lost to Jay and His Cutlery. What do you think it means that both championship teams have a loss only two weeks into the season?

It means that the other teams are ready to challenge them. I don't see either team winning the Super Bowl this year.

Q. The Saints' offense is positively freakish. Who do you think will be the first team to stop them?

The Jets, in Week 4.

Q. Related note: Should Drew Brees Method have that birthmark removed?

I don't see why he should. It's not that bad.

Q. You must have been pleased to see your Raiders pick up a victory, even though JaMarcus is looking pretty lousy. Would you bench him, or stay the course?

Why would you bench a quarterback who's winning? (I need to bench him in Madden -- he threw so many picks that Champ Bailey set an NFL record for most picks by a single player in one game).

Q. I have no idea whether this year's Bills are any good. What do you think? Is Terrell Owens making any difference to this team?

Well, he's giving them an (in)consistent receiving option. He's definitely helping. They looked nice against the Buck-an-ears.

Q. I'm finding it harder to loathe the Ravens now that they finally have an offense, but Ray Lewis is still a criminal. Does it bother you when guys like him are held up as heroes?

Definitely not as much as it bothers you. He is a great player.

Q. Bwowns/Bwoncos was so bworing that ESPN didn't even bwother showing highlights. Are either of these teams going to be relevant this season?

They did show some highlights, just not good ones. Anyway, the Broncos are 2-0 (although one win was a fluke) so they will not be too relevant, but they'll be more relevant than Cwevewand.

Q. I love how the Giants spoiled the Cowboys' home opener in their vaunted superstadium. Have you joined me in liking Eli Bernstein and loathing America's Team?

Yes, I have the same feelings. I also somewhat dislike the Patriots.

Q. The Jaguars made a lot of noises this week about acquiring Tim Tebow. Is it too early for this team to be bailing on their season?

Who says they are? But assuming they are, they really shouldn't. They need to rebound from their loss to Arizona at home.

Q. Who's your favorite player now that Jerry Porter is (I think) out of the league?

I don't know...I like Derrick Burgess, but now he plays for the Patriots. I can't think of one.

Q. Finally, here's the point where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

1) The fantasy football game isn't a blowout anymore!
2) Expect to hear more than you'd ever want to about Michael Vick this week.

NFL Week 1 Interview - Kickoff Edition

2009-09-14T21:49:00.000-07:00

Football is back! Hello, sports fans, and welcome to the first regular-season installment of Henry's weekly football blog. Our eleven-year-old sports analyst is here to discuss all the exciting and often surprising action in Week One of the NFL season.

Q. Since it's early in the year, we're going to begin with our customary game-by-game recap. How about your Raiders? Tough loss last night, but they gave San Diego everything they could handle. Were you surprised, after all the preseason shenanigans, that your team played so well?

That was great, but the only thing I've heard from analysts is about a "commitment to non-excellence" or something irritating like that.

Q. Philip Rivers -- like or dislike? I have to say, dude is starting to seriously bug me.

He cost my fantasy team -- and my favorite NFL team -- a victory!

Q. The Patriots/Bills game turned into an unexpected shootout. Based on this game, which of these teams is for real?

The Patriots are for real, but I doubt the Bills are. It's really demoralizing to allow two touchdowns in the last five minutes.

Q. Is Tom Brady back?

I'd say he is. Maybe he won't throw for 5000 yards, or 50 touchdowns, but he'll do a great job nonetheless.

Q. Dolphins/Falcons is always a controversial game in our household. What were the keys to the Falcons' victory?

That was a pretty bad game in general (I got stuck with Ronnie Brown on my fantasy team). But as for why the Falcons won, D-FENSE! D-FENSE! The Wildcat, along with the rest of Miami's offense, had no real effect.

Q. Baltimore and Kansas City punched and counterpunched, but in the end the Ravens rolled right over the Cheaps. Do you think the boring, ponderous Ravens have what it takes to make another boring, ponderous playoff run?

Unfortunately, it seems they do, but let's wait to judge them until after they play against the Chargers.

Q. Both Matt Ryan of the Falcons and Huge Joe Flacco of the Ravens had good opening games. Can these second-year QBs match their impressive rookie seasons?

I don't think so. After all, their rookie seasons were mainly impressive because they were both rookies.

Q. Eagles/Panthers. After a grim performance by Jake Delhomme and the loss of Donovan McNabb to injuries, both these teams are suddenly looking for starting quarterbacks. Where are they likely to find the answer?

Well, the answers have already been found: A.J. Feeley for Carolina (as a backup, not a starter; Josh McCown was injured) and Jeff Garcia for Philadelphia.

Q. Do you think Michael (woof) Vick will start for Philly in Week Three? Would you start him?

No, and no. You just signed a former starter who led you to the playoffs. Do you want to risk starting a former starter who was in jail for a whole season?? Or a young backup who has thrown no touchdowns and four picks in his career??

Q. I cringe even to type the name Brett Favre in discussing the Vikings' opener against the Browns. How (un)impressive was he in purple?

I didn't think he was particularly unimpressive. At least he didn't throw 26 interceptions.

Q. Colts/Jags was actually a game I didn't see. Anything worth mentioning in this matchup?

It was a nice game. It looks like Jacksonville will be a contender this season.

Q. Dallas did OK against the (how much does that corn cost?) Buccaneers. Are they better than expected, or are the Bucs worse?

No one really expected much of Byron who Left his sandWich on the counter, Escalade Williams, Derrick "Hospital" Ward and the Buccaneers. But they didn't do too badly. This was a great performance for the Cowboys, who don't seem to care about Terrell Owens leaving.

Q. It kills me to see the Lions lose and lose. When do you think they will finally pick up their first victory?

Well, they have a chance in Week 3 at home against Washington, but a slim one. If they lose there, and continue to lose, I'm confident they can beat St. Louis at Ford Field in Week 8. They also play against the Browns, who aren't too amazing.

Q. Can anyone stop the Saints and their videogame offense?

Eventually, Brees will be shut down by some elite defense (they do play against the Giants, and the Eagles are pretty good too).

Q. Jets/Texans: what did you think of Mark Sanchez in his first start?

As I'll elaborate on later, he did okay, but I think he'll get even better as the season progresses.

Q. The Texans are too boring to warrant a follow-up question. Agree?

This is a follow-up question!

Q. Talk about the spectacular final play of the Broncos/Bengals contest. Your thoughts?

Gus Johnson: "OH GOD! STOKLEY! DOWN THE SIDELINE! CAN HE CATCH HIM!? STOKLEY!!!!"

Q. 49ers/Cardinals was another game I didn't see a second of. Were you surprised to see a Super Bowl team beat so handily?

Well, it's a little surprising, especially because it was the 49ers doing the winning.

Q. Do you think Michael Crabtree will ever sign with the Niners? What are your thoughts on his holdout?

He wasn't picked #7, he was picked #10. It's not that hard to realize, but he still hasn't figured it out.

Q. Rams/Seahawks wasn't even like a real game; however, I'd be interested in your thoughts on whether my beloved Seahawks will be any good this year.

Oh, I think they'll be much better than last year, even though Jim Mora is now their coach.

Q. What did you learn from the Redskins/Giants game? Any standout plays?

Osi Umenyiora came back from injury and had a great fumble return touchdown!

Q. Bears/Packers had a thrilling finish, and I have a new Player I Love to Hate in Jay and His Cutlery. What were your thoughts on his miserable, pouty performance?

It was really bad, but the Bears somehow stayed ahead until the end.

Q. How about Cal alum Aaron Rodgers for the Pack? He looked mighty impressive on that final drive. Is he the QB Green Bay fans have been waiting for?

Fantasy experts sure hope so. I think he'll do a great job, but he may not be the "next Bart Starr," as I've heard.

Q. And now a few general questions before we wrap up. Which of the eleven new coaches particularly impressed you on Opening Day?

Rex Ryan. The Jets defense held the Texans offense (ever heard of Andre Johnson and Steve Slaton?) to one total touchdown. One!

Q. How's your Fantasy Football team treating you?

Fine, I guess. I lost to the Fairport Losers 86-83; that was disappointing. Still, my opponent next week has to start Jake Delhomme. Woohoo!

Q. Any notable surprises or disappointments among this year's crop of rookies?

Mark Sanchez did a decent job, with 272 yards, one touchdown and one pick, but I believe he will actually have a better season than Matt Stafford, who was picked ahead of him. As for disappointments, Michael "I Should Have Been Picked Higher" Crabtree still hasn't signed with the Niners, and that's certainly bad, but San Francisco beat Super Bowl loser Arizona without him.

Q. And finally, here's the place where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

...

"OH GOD! STOKLEY! DOWN THE SIDELINE! CAN HE CATCH HIM?! STOKLEY!!!!"

Welcome Back! - Preseason Update #1

2009-08-30T20:30:00.000-07:00

Hello again, sports fans! We hope you had a wonderful summer and are yearning, as we are, for some head-knocking, brain-busting football action. Our resident 11-year-old sports analyst is once again on the scene to give you his unique perspective on the upcoming NFL season.

Let's jump right in: What were the biggest offseason moves?

The signings of T.J. Houshmanzadeh, Laveranues Coles, Brian Dawkins, Brett Favre and others. Also, Jay Cutler's trade to the Bears completely changed what would have been the outcome of the season.

Which team do you think did best in the draft?

To tell the truth, I don't know too much about each team's draft picks, but the Lions gained three great rookies in Matthew Stafford, Brandon Pettigrew and Derreck Williams.

I see you are taking your maiden voyage into the land of Fantasy Football this season. I'm sure we have many readers out there who also participate. What made you want to get involved?

Well, I have a friend who has two fantasy football teams, so I decided it would be a good thing to try.

Tell us a little bit about your team, along with one or two strategy tips for the upcoming season.

I definitely did well at quarterback; I got Peyton Manning, Matt Ryan and Trent Edwards. I did okay at running back; I obtained Brian Westbrook, Ronnie Brown and Darren McFadden. Wide receiver is a weak spot; I have T.J. Houshmanzadeh, but my other four wideouts are Donnie Avery, Santana Moss, Antwaan Randle El and Kevin Curtis. Tight end is a strength; I have John Carlson and Dustin Keller. My kicker is standout Rob Bironas, and being a rookie, I drafted the Giants defense too early. At least I got them.

Now we're going to do something special. Henry's going to give you a one-sentence preview of each NFL team -- and the sentence must begin with the same letter as the name of the team. I defy any other analyst to do the same. Watch as Hen packs his inimitable brand of trenchant insight into one easily digestible nugget. Here we go!

BILLS

Breakout players on offense will not carry them past second in the division.

PATRIOTS

Promising team, but the running game is uneven.

DOLPHINS

David Lee instituted the wildcat as the quarterbacks coach last year, but will its previous success carry over?

JETS

Just as they got rid of Brett Favre, it seemed that they would be stuck with another mediocre quarterback in Kellen Clemens, but they traded up to get Mark Sanchez.

STEELERS

Super Bowl champs Pittsburgh have another chance to contend this year, thanks to their great defense.

RAVENS

Rex Ryan left, but analysts say that the defense will remain as good as it was last year (fantasy-wise, at least).

BROWNS

Brady Quinn will probably end up as the starter, and for good reason, because he outperformed Derek Anderson in preseason Week 3.

BENGALS

Bad play last season that caused them to fall to 0-8 may reappear in 2009.

RAIDERS

Ryan's brother Rob has left the Raiders for Cleveland, but hopefully their defense will still be able to make up for the ineffective offense.

BRONCOS

Brandon Marshall and Jay Cutler have both been unhappy with the team lately, so they're not going to be better anytime soon.

CHIEFS

Coping with Kansas City's fall in the division is not an easy task for first-year coach Todd Haley and general manager Scott Pioli.

CHARGERS

Coach Norv Turner has the Chargers on the road to a good season.

COLTS

Count on the Colts to be good, but not as good they were in their Super Bowl season.

JAGUARS

Jack Del Rio has shifted the entire load of carries to Maurice Jones-Drew, and it's hard to decide if this is a good or a bad thing for him.

TEXANS

Texas yearns for the team's first playoff appearance.

TITANS

The Titans' rise last year will continue into this year, and I think if they don't slip up in the playoffs, they'll be able to contend for the Super Bowl.

EAGLES

Everyone has overanalyzed the signing of Michael Vick. Plus, you can't glean too much from how simple and average his performance was against Jacksonville in preseason Week 3.

GIANTS

Great performances last year caused me to inaccurately predict the Giants for the Super Bowl, and while I think they won't be as good as they were last year, they'll still be a contender.

REDSKINS

Returning even though the Redskins threatened to trade him in the offseason, Jason Campbell was a big part of the Redskins being insignificant last year.

COWBOYS

Can they ever come through in the playoffs -- or at least make them?

SEAHAWKS

Soon as Matt Hasselbeck starts looking good this season, he'll probably get injured again.

RAMS

Run away from the terrible team!

CARDINALS

Catching passes is not at all easy, but Larry Fitzgerald is sure making it look that way.

49ERS

42, the answer to Life, the Universe and Everything (including the playoffs) is something the 49ers could use right now.

PACKERS

Previously, Brett Favre was a Packer, but that seems so long ago now.

VIKINGS

Vanquish their opponents and they'll be headed for the playoffs.

BEARS

Before Jay Cutler was acquired, the Bears looked like they would have another terrible passing year; well, now they won't.

LIONS

Last year they went 0-16; can they be 16-0 (I doubt it)?

FALCONS

Formerly of the Chargers, Michael Turner is ready to make an impact.

BUCCANEERS

Byron Leftwich is the starter; look for the Buccaneers to have an average year.

SAINTS

Sean Payton is doing a great job as the head coach; everyone likes the Saints.

PANTHERS

Pointing out offensive problems is not an easy task.

[I should point out that Henry just recited that entire list of teams from memory.]

Okay, this is it: Go out on a limb right now and pick the two Super Bowl teams:

Although I was terrible last year, I'm going to pick the Patriots vs. the Giants.

We'll check in again next week. Now comes the place where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

I picked the Steelers, Super Bowl champs, to be a bust last year!

NFL Final Week - Super Bowl Edition

2009-02-03T16:10:00.000-08:00

And so this wondrous season draws to a close. Super Bowl Weekend also featured another big event -- Henry's birthday -- and so may I present to you, for the first time anywhere... our 11-year-old football analyst!

1. Monday morning, sports talk radio was full of a lot of "greatest of all time" chatter about Super Bowl 43. Do you agree it was the best ever? Why or why not? Can you name a Super Bowl that was better?

People also said this about last year's Super Bowl. That one was at least as good.

2. I think we need to pause for a moment of self-congratulation. You and I both correctly predicted the winner, and we got awfully close on the final score. I said 20-17 Steelers, and you said 27-17 Steelers. You said the game would hinge on "some deep passes by both teams, or key turnovers" -- it certainly did -- while I spotlighted "Ben Roethlisberger's ability to improvise," which was definitely a big factor in the Pittsburgh victory. But what were the big surprises of the game, from your point of view?

I was surprised by how close Arizona came to winning. I didn't expect that.

3. The Super Bowl MVP was Santonio Holmes. Was that the correct choice?

I'd say it was. James Harrison did well, but one great play isn't enough, at least in the eyes of the voters.

4. If Arizona had won, who would be their MVP?

Kurt Warner. He threw for 377 yards.

5. How would you evaluate the performance of each quarterback?

As I said, Kurt Warner did an amazing job. Ben Roethlisberger also did well. It may not show in his stats, but it showed in the game.

6. How about the running backs?

Eek. Edgerrin James had only 33 yards on nine carries. Willie Parker didn't do much better, with 19 carries for 53 yards.

7. Receiving corps?

This was the highlight of the game. Larry Fitzgerald had a 100-yard game, and Anquan Boldin had 84 yards. As for Pittsburgh, MVP Santonio Holmes played well.

8. Defense?

Hmm...they were pretty even. But I'd say Pittsburgh.

9. Who outcoached whom in Super Bowl 43?

Not sure here. But Pittsburgh was the winning team, so they might deserve recognition here...

10. I hate to ask this, 'cause it's kind of a hackneyed topic, but did you have a favorite commercial?

Careerbuilder.com's. "If you hate going to work, your coworkers disrespect you, you dream of going other places, you cry often, you dream of punching small animals and you sit next to this guy...it may be time."

11. Nobody predicted this championship matchup at the start of the season, but in the modern Cowher/Tomlin era, Pittsburgh has become one of the perennially good teams. Do you think they can make another run next season?

Perhaps. But I don't see them in the Super Bowl.

12. On the other had, as we've often talked about, the Cardinals' march to the Super Bowl was astounding and unprecedented. Will this be a championship-level team next year, or were they merely a one-season fluke?

Somewhere in between. They'll be pretty good, I don't see them reaching the Super Bowl, like I didn't with Pittsburgh.

13. How much does Kurt Warner have to do with the answer to that last question?

He's an important part of the team, but he won't be around much longer in the NFL.

14. How do you think Matt Leinart feels right now?

Mostly sad. His team lost and he didn't play.

15. One or two more questions, then we're done, I promise. What were your three favorite moments of the past season?

I don't know...I can't recall that much from this season that was notable.

16. I know your favorite player used to be Jerry Porter back when he played with the Raiders. Do you have a favorite now?

No, not really.

17. And finally: Did you enjoy doing a weekly blog this year? Would you like to do it again next year? And do you think you'll feel like doing a Pro Bowl or NFL Draft edition?

Yes and yes.

18. Now, for the last time in the 2008 NFL season, comes the point where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

There may also be occasional offseason updates.

NFL Week 20.5 Interview - Turn The Tables Edition!

2009-01-25T18:00:00.000-08:00

Well, I (Henry) usually answer the questions. But on this Sunday, I will be asking the questions, and our 45-year-old football analyst will answer them.

1. What made you want to do this "Turn The Tables Edition"?

Sometimes I feel like I'm driving the discourse with my interview questions, so I wanted to give Henry the chance to set the agenda. Plus I'm always intrigued to see what emerges from The Mind of Hen.

2. As far as I know, Oakland hasn't hired a coach yet. But Tom Cable is the frontrunner. Is he right for the job?

Honestly, that job is so fraught with peril that if Tom Cable wants it, he should get it. You'll note that for all the recent coaching changes, not one of the top-tier candidates chose to meet with the Raiders. Because really, who wants to work for Crazy Al Davis?

3. On another topic, some think this Super Bowl is going to be one of the worst/lowest rated ever. Do you agree?

I do. I think that outside of Greater Phoenix, no one cares a whit for the Arizona Cardinals, no matter how inspiring The Kurt Warner Story is. We did that story ten years ago. The Steelers are always a good draw, but Pittsburgh isn't really a major market, and I'm sure the embittered Eagles fans on the other side of the state won't be watching.

It could be a good game, though, for the fourteen people who choose to tune in.

4. What do you think are the strengths of the Cardinals and Steelers?

I think the Steelers' primary strength is Ben Roethlisberger's ability to improvise. They have a lot of talent on the offensive side, and of course their defense has always been tough. But how many times this season did we see Big Ben make something out of nothing?

On the Cardinals' side of the ball, this team has confounded me again and again, because beyond Larry Fitzgerald they don't really seem to have Super-Bowl-caliber players. So I'd say their greatest strength is that people (like me) routinely underestimate them.

5. I didn't think the Cardinals would get this far when the playoff schedules were announced. Did you?

Not in a million, billion years. I think I've mentioned that Cris Collinsworth called them something like "the worst playoff team ever," and I was inclined to agree. Nobody, including me, saw them getting this far. And now Sports Illustrated is picking them to win!

6. The Steelers were under the radar for most of the season. They obtained a first-round bye, and beat the Chargers and Ravens, two strong teams. Did you notice how well they were doing?

Kind of. They were sort of bubbling under, while teams like the Falcons (with an exciting rookie) and Titans (ditto) and Ravens (ditto ditto) were getting all the press. I think the Steelers have become one of those teams like the Colts that we just expect to be good.

7. After the Cardinals did terribly at the end of the regular season, I'm sure you didn't think they would get to the Super Bowl. Why did you think that?

Bad logo. Seriously. I have never liked this team because of their logo. It is lame, and looks particularly bad against those white helmets. Thank goodness the Ravens aren't in the Super Bowl, because they're the only team in the league whose logo is worse.

By the way, good logos include the Cowboys (best in the league), Steelers, Chargers, Rams/Vikings and Browns (I'm not kidding).

8. Which quarterback will play better?

You know, in spite of what I said above, I might have to go with Kurt Warner. As exciting as Roethlisberger can be, he can also be streaky, while Warner tends to play with a veteran's steady precision.

9. Running back?

Willie Parker. I think Tim Hightower will succumb to rookie-in-the-Super-Bowl freakout and finish with like 32 yards.

10. Receiving corps?

Is Hines Ward playing? Is J.J. Arrington? I think this could be a wash. Weirdly, it might depend on whether Anquan Boldin gets over his bizarre anger issues; if so, that could give the Cards the edge.

11. Who do you think will win?

Just to make it interesting, I'm going to pick the Steelers. But I think it will be relatively low-scoring and fairly close.

12. And what do you think the score will be?

20-17 Steelers.

Bonus questions:

13. Do you approve of the 2010 Pro Bowl being played outside of Honolulu?

No, I don't. Why mess with tradition? It's fun to have the game in Hawaii. We see enough games in Miami.

14. And what about its being played before the Super Bowl?

Definitely no! Don't these people understand the psychology of NFL fans? We like that the Pro Bowl is a bonus game after the Super Bowl is over. Now the big game is the end of the entire season, and that is no good.

15. And now we're at the period where Tow gets to type whatever he wants.

I have a new appreciation for how hard Henry works on these weekly blogs. There's a lot more typing for the interviewee!

NFL Week 20 - Championship Edition

2009-01-18T19:14:00.000-08:00

Welcome back, folks, to the penultimate edition of our weekly football blog. Our resident 10-year-old analyst, armed with a rubber football he received as a birthday party favor this afternoon, is ready with his usual trenchant analysis.

1. Let's start with the blander of the two games, the late Baltimore/Pittsburgh contest. Was this one more lopsided than the 23-14 final would indicate?

I'd say it was. Joe Flacco played a terrible game.

2. I have to say, I expected a better game out of Huge Joe Flacco. Is this another case of a rookie QB freezing up under playoff pressure?

Either that, or the more likely answer, him being stifled by the Steelers defense.

3. What were the other keys to the Pittsburgh victory?

Honestly, they didn't do too well otherwise. But the passing game was pretty good.

4. Now, on to the early game, which actually looked like a bit of a contest in the second half. Arizona came out and dominated, just as they did last week, but Philly caught 'em in the second half and almost ran away with the game. Does this bode ill for the Cards' chances in the Super Bowl?

Especially against Pittsburgh, I'd say it does.

5. I'm still sort of at a loss as to why this Cardinal team is in the big game. Name three things they've got going for them.

Hmm...their running game, their experience on offense and their defense.

6. And over on the Steelers side, what are the three main things they have going for them?

Their defense, their receivers and their quarterback's ability to improvise.

7. Two experienced QBs will be facing off in two weeks. Which veteran has the edge?

You can't really call Ben Roethlisberger a veteran. He was drafted in '04. But this is a tough question. I'd say they're rather even, but will definitely throw some interceptions.

8. Speaking of edge (Edgerrin James left! Edgerrin James right! Edgerrin James up the middle!), the game will pit two teams with old-school, grind-it-out running attacks. Who's got the edge in this department, and why?

The Cardinals have the advantage, because the Steelers aren't actually built like that.

9. How about the passing game? Which team has more firepower in their receiving corps, and who are their stars?

I'd say Arizona, but only by a little. They have Larry Fitzgerald and some other consistent receivers. Pittsburgh has injured Hines Ward, Santonio Holmes and some other consistent receivers.

10. And both teams have made it to the big dance on the strength of their defenses. Which one's tougher, and who are the standout players?

The Steelers. Troy Polamalu and some other lesser-known players anchor the defense.

11. So here we are with the Super Bowl nobody predicted -- except you, who told us last week that this was the way it was going to shake out. Are you still picking the Steelers to emerge victorious?

Yes.

12. Let's have a final score forecast.

Let's see...27-17 Pittsburgh.

13. So is this a blowout, or a game that comes down to a couple of critical plays?

The latter.

14. Turn on your psychic powers and tell us what one of those plays might be.

Some deep passes by both teams, or key turnovers.

15. Thanks, Hen. We'll look forward to your Super Bowl coverage in two weeks, at which time you will be an 11-year-old football analyst. Now comes the point where you get to type whatever you want.

"We'll look forward to your Super Bowl coverage in two weeks, at which time you will be an 11-year-old football analyst."

Barely. By one day.

NFL Week 19 - Divisional Playoff Weekend

2009-01-11T19:06:00.000-08:00

Welcome! It's back-to-school eve, and the end of an insane weekend of stunning upsets in the NFL. Let's check in with our ten-year-old sports analyst and get his take on all the exciting action.

1. For starters, I'm sure glad my office football pool was on hiatus this week, 'cause I would have blown all four games. Let's start with the big shocker, the continuing horror that is the Arizona Cardinals. They -- an 8-8 team with a miserable, non-threatening logo -- are going to host the NFC Championship game! Talk about three keys to this team's success.

• Their offense got them past Atlanta.
• Their defense intercepted Jake Delhomme four times.
• Edgerrin James and Tim Hightower both played well.

2. I know Jake Delhomme had a lousy birthday, but were his five turnovers the only problem with the Panthers on Saturday?

The Cardinals completely shut down Carolina. DeAngelo Williams was held to 63 yards, and 31 of them were on one carry.

3. On to the equally surprising Ravens, a leaden, plodding team that once again finds themselves a step from the Super Bowl. This time around, at least, they seem to have an actual quarterback. Is Huge Joe Flacco the main strength of this club, or does it lie elsewhere?

Their defense is definitely their strength, especially the secondary and linebackers.

4. I am sincerely stunned to see the Tennessee Titans out of it. Will they be competitive next year? And will the aging but still plucky Kerry Collins be their starter, or do they need to get on with the Vince Young Era?

They may be competitive next year, but most likely not with Vince Young. He could, however, improve in training camp.

5. On the other hand, I was really not that surprised to see the Eagles run all over the Giants. The Eagles seem to have tons of momentum right now. What's fueling their astonishing resurgence?

It's hard to tell, but DeSean Jackson and Brian Westbrook are helping a lot.

6. Everyone talks about the moment Andy Reid benched Donovan McNabb as the turning point of the season. Do you agree?

How is that the turning point? It was bad for the team.

7. It was a bad day for the Giants' Eli Manning, who reverted to his old Eli Bernstein ways with a particularly unmemorable performance. Will this team be competitive next season, or is this the start of a fall to mediocrity?

They'll definitely be competitive, but we don't know how competitive -- the last two seasons have been polar opposites.

8. Finally, Pittsburgh-San Diego. The Chargers seemed like another of those teams with a lot of momentum, but Pittsburgh handled them easily in the snow. What were the keys to the Steelers' victory?

San Diego was pretty competitive, but Ben Roethlisberger recovered very well.

9. Guess you're going to have to revise that prediction of a Giants/Titans/Panthers Super Bowl now that all of those teams have fallen. Give us your new pick for the matchup, and explain why.

Er... I'd say Steelers vs. Cardinals, going against your picks. The Cardinals have momentum, and Pittsburgh can overpower Baltimore.

10. And who's going to win that Super Bowl?

THE STEEL CURTAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11. Random question (and I don't think I've already asked you this): Which city should get the next new NFL franchise?

Los Angeles.

12. We'll see you next week for the championship round, folks. Now comes the point where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

Super Bowl possibilities: (1 for impossible, 10 for certain)

Cardinals vs. Steelers (8/10)

Eagles vs. Steelers (7.5/10)

Cardinals vs. Ravens (7/10)

Ravens vs. Eagles (7.5/10)

All likely!

NFL Week 18 - Wild Card Weekend - Our 100th Post!

2009-01-04T16:51:00.000-08:00

Welcome back! Here's hoping you all had a nice holiday. As for us... well, we almost did. Last summer I placed my customary bets in Las Vegas -- three $20 bets on the Seahawks, Dolphins and Raiders (our family's favorite teams) to win the Super Bowl. And at the time, that Dolphins bet was paying 500 to 1. So when the Dolphins utterly failed to show up against the Ravens today, that cost yours truly a cool $1,000. Sigh.

1. Let's start with that game. What happened to the steady Dolphins we saw throughout the season? Chad Pennington throwing interceptions right and left, the defense looking utterly porous... Was it just a case of playoff inexperience?

No. They just became demoralized after the thirteen unanswered points Baltimore scored on them.

2. What's ahead for the Dolphins? Do you think they'll be equally good next season?

I'm not sure. Playoff teams that aren't traditionally there tend to be flukey.

3. As for the Ravens, because they're so BORING, it's easy to forget that this is a team that won the Super Bowl a few years back. They always seem to come on strong toward the end of the season. Do these guys have what it takes to go deep into the playoffs?

No, because even if they beat Tennessee in the divisional round, the winner of Chargers-Steelers can beat them.

4. On to the Falcons... double sigh... yet another talented young team which utterly collapsed. Was this, again, a case of Matt Ryan's playoff inexperience catching up with him?

That, and the fact that the Arizona defense played incredibly well.

5. I think a lot of us can't take the Cardinals seriously because of that stupid logo, but they sure looked steady throughout that game. Especially the resurgent Kurt Warner. Do you think these guys have a chance against the Panthers?

It all depends on their run defense. Carolina could easily overwhelm them.

6. We didn't watch a lot of the Eagles/Vikings game, but it certainly didn't look like one for the ages. The Eagles have rebounded from a wobbly finish to a solid playoff appearance. What do you think of their chances against the Giants?

I think they're small. Not too small, but the Giants will be able to rebound from their loss at the end of the regular season.

7. Obviously the best game of the weekend was Colts/Chargers. That enraged look on Peyton Manning's face as he walked off the field, never having had a chance to lead his team in overtime... it was chilling. Is it time once again to talk about how Peyton, for all his talent, rarely succeeds in winning the Big One?

No. He's proven himself before, and he doesn't need to do it again.

8. What player has impressed you the most in this postseason thus far?

Edgerrin James. After his complaining about being forced to block, he had a great game against Atlanta.

9. How about coach?

Andy Reid. His Eagles played a great game against Minnesota.

10. Now you have a chance to forecast the Super Bowl matchup. Who are you picking?

Giants/Panthers vs. Titans.

11. And who's the winner?

Giants/Panthers.

12. Bonus question: I used to love "five dollar foot long," but now I hate it. Why do you think that is?

"FIVE!" "FIVE DOLLAR!" "FIVE DOLLAR FOOT LONG!"

13. Now comes the part where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

SUBWAY! EAT FRESH!

NFL Week 17 - Final Regular Season Edition

2008-12-29T09:24:00.000-08:00

We are back, folks, in more ways than one -- we just returned from a holiday trip to visit the family in Atlanta. The first 72 hours were great fun -- and then Delta Airlines got a hold of us. The only good part of the subsequent FIVE-HOUR DELAY was that we got to watch a lot of football while idling in the terminal.

Anyway... herewith, the final regular-season edition of our weekly football blog. And there is lots to discuss with our veteran 10-year-old football analyst.

1. OK! Very exciting final week of the season, with plenty of fireworks both on and off the field. Let's start with the beatdown the Eagles laid on Dallas -- was that a statement game or what?

It sure was. And because Oakland had beaten the Bucs, they got into the playoffs.

2. Wade Phillips is keeping his job, despite overseeing the hideous collapse (both on and off the field) of a team that had been tapped as a surefire Super Bowl contender. Is that smart or stupid?

I don't think he should keep his job. He's been mediocre, and really hasn't done much to help his collapsing team.

3. Speaking of the coaching carousel, Eric Mangini got booted within hours of the Jets' loss to the (yay) Dolphins. I don't think I agree with this move... how about you?

I don't agree with it either. But he was in New York, where coaches pretty much have to win.

4. Still on the Jets: I guess we have to talk one last time about the Brett Favre Experiment. He's saying he needs an MRI on his shoulder, and that the results will influence his decision whether or not to return. Sounds like an excuse to me. Will -- and should -- Favre come back for one more year?

Brett Favre probably will retire. I'm not sure if he should come back, though, because his performance has deteriorated.

5. Gotta pause for a moment to talk about the Patriots. After the year they've had, going 11-5 with Matt Cassel yet missing the playoffs... is that right? Should the NFL rethink its playoff formula?

If exceptions like this continue to be rare, then no. But their formula is a bit odd.

6. Meanwhile, the Cardinals (even in a victory over the Seahogs) look less impressive by the week. Is this an "out in the first round" playoff team?

Yep, especially against Fat-lanta.

7. Back to coaches: Romeo Crennel -- gone. Rod Marinelli -- gone. Deserved or not? And who the heck are they going to get to coach in Detroit?

I think they definitely deserved it. And as for coaching in Detroit, Mangini might work, and so would Bill Cowher.

8. Who do you think will be the next coaches to get whacked?

Jack Del Rio...hmm...I can't think of any realistic possibilities. Jacksonville likes Del Rio, anyway.

9. OK, let's start thinking ahead to the playoffs, specifically the wild-card round. Ravens/Dolphins -- which team has more momentum coming into this game?

Baltimore, especially because they beat Miami earlier in the season.

10. Colts vs. Chargers. Hard to pick against the Colts. What do you think?

Yes, it is. But I believe San Diego has a good chance of winning if they play like they did against Denver.

11. Falcons/Cardinals -- the battle of the birds! I think the Falcs will wipe the floor with the fading Cards, even in the latter's home stadium. How about you?

I do too. Arizona barely beat Seattle.

12. Finally, Eagles vs. Vikings. I still have to remind myself that the Vikings were division champs, that's how off-the-radar they are. And the Eagles have been pretty streaky. I think this is a hard pick -- how about you?

I'd pick the Vikings, unless the Eagles have another offensive explosion. But it is hard to believe that Minnesota won the division.

13. Looking even further ahead, the second-rounders are the Giants, Titans, Steelers and Panthers. Who's the toughest to beat in this group?

Erm...maybe Carolina at this point. The NFC looks stronger than the AFC in this category.

14. Finally, I guess you're going to have to revise your Giants-Patriots Super Bowl pick. Now that we know all the playoff teams... who's it gonna be?

Giants-Titans. But it's hard to tell.

15. Bonus question: A big sigh for the '08 Lions, who will forever live in infamy, with that Dan Orlovsky safety endlessly replayed on SportsCenter. If you could say one thing to the members of this accursed squad, what would it be?

"Shouldn't have fired Matt Millen". (NOTE: THAT WAS A JOKE!)

16. Whew! Big blog post today. Now comes the point where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

Mike Singletary will remain as San Francisco's head coach.

NFL Week 16 Interview

2008-12-22T19:19:00.000-08:00

The weather outside is frightful... but our 10-year-old NFL analyst is so delightful. Let's fling him a few questions.

1. After the Cards' embarrassing blowout loss to the Pats, Cris Collinsworth termed them "the worst playoff team in living memory." Do you agree?

If they play in the playoffs like they did against the Patriots and Vikings, that's what they deserve to be labeled.

2. Will the Lions go 0-16? If you were rebuilding this team next year, where would you start?

Yes, and I would start at the skill positions. Dan Orlovsky and Rudi Johnson can not win them games.

3. So Brett Favre has (almost certainly) failed to take the Jets to the post-season, while deposed Jet QB "What Impresses You About" Chad Pennington has helped the Dolphins to an astonishing playoff run. Did Brett make a mistake? Did the Jets?

I don't think he did. He's had quite a good season in New York. Same for the Jets, even though he won't be around for much longer.

4. Is the jury still out on Aaron Rodgers?

Yes. But he's looked very good tonight against Chicago, even at the helm of an underachieving 5-9 team.

5. There seems to be a wide divergence of opinion about this year's NFL MVP. With the season almost over, who's your pick?

I really don't know. This has been quite an odd year, with only a few teams standing out.

6. The technology now exists to put a GPS chip in the football, thereby eliminating measurements and all the attendant nonsense. Would you do it?

It might cost a lot, but I would do it. So much broadcast time is wasted on measurements.

7. Which major US city is most deserving of an expansion team?

Los Angeles. Not just because I live there, but because so many teams have come there and gone.

8. Which current NFL city deserves to lose their franchise?

Detroit, maybe?

9. Lotta heat on Eagles coach Andy Reid these days. Personally, I like the guy, but would you fire him?

Perhaps, but probably not. The staff as a whole may need to be reevaluated.

10. While we're on the Eagles, Donovan McNabb -- keep him or trade him?

It all depends on the free agents. If the free agent quarterbacks are not that good, they should keep McNabb.

11. Would you ever like to participate in a football pool? How about a fantasy league? How about actually playing football?

Maybe a pool or league, but I'd rather play flag football casually than in a league. *shudders*

12. Before you started watching football, you hardly ever saw a TV commercial. Now you run through the house singing them. Which are your favorites, and which do you dislike the most?

Just because I see them doesn't mean I like them, but if I had to choose a favorite, I would choose that Peyton Manning at hotels MasterCard commercial. I especially dislike the "he went to Jared" commercials.

13. Now comes the spot where Henry gets to type anything he wants.

The Lions have already set the record for most losses in a season.

NFL Week 14-15 - Playoff Edition

2008-12-14T18:55:00.001-08:00

Didja miss us? Well, we're BACK after a one-week hiatus with our customary rundown of all the NFL action.

Q. Last time out, we talked about the teams which have been eliminated from playoff contention, and by now several more have joined those ranks. In the AFC, we've got Cleveland, Houston, Jacksonville, Oakland and Buffalo. I gotta say, I'm surprised to see the Jaguars on this list. How about you? Any other surprises?

I'm really surprised. Jacksonville had high expectations. And early in the season, no one expected Green Bay eliminated from playoff contention.

Q. Over in the NFC, San Francisco, Green Bay, New Orleans are all out of it. Stunning! These are teams with a lot of talent, many of whom were early picks to go deep into the playoffs. Who's the biggest surprise to you, and why?

Well, San Francisco was never all that good. New Orleans was trapped in a great division. So it comes down to Green Bay. Aaron Rodgers was labeled a phenomenon apparently too early in the season.

Q. Okay, enough with the losers, on to the winners. Despite their loss to the Texans today, the Titans seem head and shoulders above the rest of the NFL. But are they good enough to make a Super Bowl run?

Perhaps not, considering what we saw today. I just can't see them beating an AFC heavyweight if needed.

Q. The Steelers seem very streaky to me. How durable is this team?

They're a good team, but they didn't really show it today with a 13-9 win over the division rival Ravens.

Q. I think the Jets are a little flukey, but Favre's playoff experience will certainly serve them well down the stretch. How good are the Jets?

Very good, but still not good enough to convincingly beat a wounded team like Buffalo or win the AFC East early.

Q. I gotta say -- and not just 'cause I dislike the Rat-Coach -- I think this year's Broncos are pretty weak. You?

Weak, but they've still nearly clinched the AFC West.

Q. The Panthers -- real or fake? I always seem to think of them as tougher than they actually are.

They certainly looked good when they dismantled the Broncos this week.

Q. Are the Vikings really a playoff team?! Why?

I'm honestly not sure. They're a very overlooked 9-5 division leader, so I believe they should be considered one.

Q. And I know I say this every week, but THE CARDINALS?? Does this team belong on the short list of Super Bowl contenders?

Definitely, before their three-touchdown defeat by Minnesota.

Q. The Bucs and Falcons are battling for the remaining playoff spot. Who's got the best shot?

With the way Tampa Bay's defense has been lately, definitely Atlanta.

Q. Other bubble teams include the Bears, Cowboys, Eagles and Redskins. Who of this group has what it takes, and why?

None of these teams are really all that good. You can't call Washington and Philadelphia contenders when they're in third and fourth place in the West, and the Cowboys are disorganized but did pretty well against the Giants and have a good chance of getting a spot. This leaves Chicago, who will most likely get a playoff berth if they win their last few games.

Q. At this point, we can really start forecasting Super Bowl. Knowing what you know now, who do you think will be in Super Bowl whatever-it-is?

The Giants and the Patriots. Yes, again.

Q. And who's gonna win?

The Giants. Yes, again.

Q. Now comes the point where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

The Lions will most likely go winless at this point.

NFL Week 13 Interview - Playoff Elimination Edition

2008-12-01T19:40:00.000-08:00

Welcome back to the Unlucky Thirteen edition of our weekly recap. Henry's soccer team was busy winning the citywide Turkey Tournament this past weekend, so once again our football-watching was somewhat curtailed. No worries, though -- that just means you get yet another offbeat set of questions for our ten-year-old NFL analyst.

Q. Before we begin, a quick non-football question: Your team, the Sherman Oaks Guys, swept the Turkey Tournament, winning all five of its games -- and only one goal was scored on you Guys in the entire tournament! What were the keys to your team's astonishing playoff run?

Well, we didn't work too well as a team, but we were very friendly to each other and never treated each other badly. We had some very talented players.

Q. Now, on to football. As the regular season winds down, we're finally starting to see some teams eliminated from playoff contention -- five, to be exact. I want to briefly talk about each of these teams, starting with the ever-hapless Cincinnati Bengals. What were their primary problems this season?

They had the distraction of Chad Ocho Cinco, constant injuries (including the one to Carson Palmer)...everything went wrong.

Q. Do they have anything to build on for the future?

They have a lot of talent. But they need to use it to their advantage.

Q. Will Marvin Lewis be part of that future?

Maybe, maybe not. I honestly wouldn't be very satisfied, but the team was harmed by the things I mentioned before.

Q. On to the Kansas City Chiefs. Kind of a puzzle, this team. Do you think they're better than their 2-10 record would indicate?

I would say so. But they're a work in progress, with so much youth.

Q. And what of Tyler Thigpen -- is this kid any good?

Pretty good. He has nice mobility and passing in general, but he was thrown in and out of the starting role. And he's inconsistent.

Q. Ah, now we have to talk about the Lions. I always have a soft spot for this perennially crummy team, probably because of George Plimpton's Paper Lion, which in my opinion is the best sports book ever written. Is the end of the Matt Millen era the start of something good for the Lions?

Most likely. He was managing the team terribly and squandering talent and draft picks.

Q. What do they have to build on?

The aforementioned talent. Think of Calvin Johnson, or young running back Kevin Smith. They also have Rudi Johnson.

Q. Now, the St. Louis Rams. Hard to believe that just a few short years ago this team was called The Greatest Show on Turf. What's behind their precipitous fall?

They lost Marshall Faulk...They lost Dick Vermeil and Mike Martz...They lost Kurt Warner...

Q. Finally -- sigh -- we come to the Seattle Seahawks, a team that a lot of folks had picked to go to the Super Bowl this year. Guess they won't be paying off that $20 bet I made in Vegas earlier this yet. Was it just injuries that plagued the team this season?

Well, maybe Mike Holmgren didn't put effort into coaching his last year. Also, the team was just unable to do anything somehow. Maybe they shouldn't have gotten rid of Shaun Alexander so soon.

Q. I have to admit, I'm not that excited about the dawning of the Jim Mora era in Seattle. How about you?

Not exactly, but the team needs change anyway. They can't go any further down from where they are now.

Q. We'll cover the playoff contenders in a future edition of the Weird Blog, but I want to spend a moment talking about what to me is the surprise team of the year: The Arizona Cardinals. I always said this team would never get good until they scrapped their logo, but they seem to be doing well anyway. What's the secret of their success?

Anquan Boldin staying, the resurgence of Kurt Warner, a consistent running game (despite the benching of Edgerrin James). These were all critical.

Q. Final question, a two-parter: I think one of the big stories of this season has been the stellar performance of aging backups-turned-starters such as Kerry Collins and Kurt Warner. What made this the Year of the Grizzled Veteran QB?

More motivation. Being backups or being on losing teams was not appealing to Collins and Warner.

Q. And what does their success bode for their highly touted now-backups, Vince Young and Matt Leinart?

Those two are demoralized now, especially Young. They aren't that good, anyway.

Q. Thank you, Hen. Now comes the part where you get to type whatever you want.

Correction: Ed Reed did not tie Nathan Vasher and Devin Hester. His return could have been about a yard shorter.

NFL Week 12 Interview - Ultra-Compact Edition

2008-11-24T20:19:00.000-08:00

Honestly, we did not get to watch a single NFL game during the day on Sunday -- between basketball tryouts, bike riding and soccer practice, there just wasn't time! So once again we're going to return to a somewhat generalist format when putting questions to our resident 10-year-old football analyst.

1. The Raiders beat up on the Broncos! I love it! How do you feel when your favorite team vanquishes the Rat-Coach?

Surprised. I had already written off this season. The Raiders had a ton of injuries, an up-and-down quarterback and an interim coach.

2. Why, after a streak of very good weeks of picking NFL games (including three pool wins), did I suddenly fall off the edge of the world this week, correctly picking only six games?

Well, you need to realize that not all games are going to be decided by less than a touchdown. Even when a team is highly favored, you don't need to pick the underdogs.

3. Will the Seahawks ever recover? How many seasons will it take before they're once again competitive?

Actually, not too long. Maybe Jim Mora taking over next year is just what they need. Also, there are many premier free agents that they could sign in the offseason.

4. Phenoms like Reggie Bush, Vince Young and Devin Hester seem to be struggling this year. What's the problem?

Several different reasons. Bush has been injured, Young has been demoralized and benched and Hester has had to play wide receiver.

5. Do you think any NFL rules need to be changed? Why?

I think that the NFL needs to expand what coaches can challenge so referees can be criticized less.

6. Going for it on 4th down -- for or against? And don't just say it depends on the game situation.

I'm for it, when it's needed. Punting isn't always the answer.

7. What do you enjoy watching more, a grind-it-out defensive struggle or a high-scoring aerial shootout?

A high-scoring aerial shootout. Why would you even want to see a grind-it-out defensive struggle?

8. What's your favorite football weather?

Snow. It changes the game in many ways. Think of the Tuck Rule or Snow Plow games, or Dolphins-Patriots a couple years ago.

9. You were fairly young when you visited the Pro Football Hall of Fame a few years ago. If you were to go back, what would you be most interested in seeing?

I would be interested in seeing some of the famous memorabilia they've collected, like Tom Dempsey's kicking shoe. I'm a fan of that sort of thing.

10. What's your favorite football movie? How about football DVD?

My favorite football movie is "Rudy". It was very engrossing and heartwarming. As for a DVD, I have one called "Football Follies" that I like.

11. And now the traditional spot wherein Henry gets to type whatever he wants.

Ed Reed's 108-yard interception return touchdown puts him in a three-way tie for second place on the list of longest NFL plays.

NFL Week 11 Interview - Compact Edition

2008-11-17T20:40:00.000-08:00

Just a quick one this week, 'cause it's late on a Monday evening and we're all a bit behind. This time: Ten random questions for our resident football analyst.

1. Who deserves credit for the Dolphins' turnaround? Sparano? Parcells? Pennington? Porter? Someone else?

The whole team deserves credit. The coaching staff led by Sparano, the offense led by Pennington and Ronnie Brown, the defense led by Porter, the front office led by Parcells...

2. Name five sports clichés you'd like to see banished from the earth forever.

"left to right on your radio!" "they're a great football team on both sides of the football!" "Pursuit of Perfection"...that's only three.

3. Which aging player really needs to pack it in and retire?

In a little while, Marvin Harrison. He just isn't looking too good anymore. He did score a touchdown yesterday, but isn't really a playmaker anymore.

4. Which coach really needs to pack it in and give someone else a chance?

Jeff Fisher. He's doing a good job, but has had the Titans job for a very long time. Sal Paolantonio also lists him as an overrated coach.

5. If the NFL draft were held today, which college player would be the #1 pick and why?

Honestly, I don't know. Many draft analysts think the first round picks are going to somehow be mostly all offensive linemen, and many players in the backfield are up-and-down.

6. Which is the best way to kill an afternoon: a) attending an NFL game, b) watching a game on TV, c) listening to a game on the radio during a picnic, or d) playing Madden and NFL Street? Explain the reason for your choice.

All of the above. "a" is very exciting, "b" is good because we have NFL Sunday Ticket, "c" is a great experience, and "d" is very fun.

7. Describe the content of your school Reflections project for your blog-readers around the globe. What was the assignment, and how did you execute it?

The Reflections product was a project in which I had to cover a topic related to the topic "Wow!". I chose a play from 2003 called the River City Relay.

8. Which Manning brother is playing better right now -- Peyton or Eli? If you answer Cooper, you'd better have a good explanation.

Eli. The Giants are currently one of the best teams in the NFC.

9. If you were to assemble a fantasy backfield (including tight end and wide receiver) from all NFL players past and present, what would it be?

Johnny Unitas, Walter Payton, Bronko Nagurski, Jerry Rice, Deion Sanders and Ozzie Newsome.

10. The final spot will be left open for Henry's traditional "write whatever you want" post.

The Lions need to learn how to win games. Perhaps they should attend the "Remedial Scoring Points" class at the "Football School".

NFL Week 10 Interview - Special Edition

2008-11-09T19:01:00.000-08:00

Welcome back to our weekly rundown of all the NFL action. Our resident 10-year-old sports analyst is bored with the conventional recaps which have dominated our first nine weeks, so I've decided to change it up with an entirely new and fresh set of interview questions. Buckle your chinstrap, 'cause here we go!

Q. Who's the biggest rookie bust this season, and why?

Honestly, there really aren't any busts. This year is one of the few years where nearly all of the first-round picks have played well.

Q. What's the most exciting team to watch right now? Describe a favorite play which is typical of this team.

The Dolphins. The Wildcat formation is very fun to watch, but so is the defense and Chad Pennington leading the passing attack.

Q. What current NFL coach would you like to sit down and have a veggie burger with? In other words, which coach seems like a guy who'd be fun to hang out with?

Mike Singletary.
(no, just being sarcastic).
Jeff Fisher would be nice to talk to. It would be interesting to see how he's preventing his players from getting overconfident.

Q. If you were suddenly summoned to join the coaching staff of an NFL team, 1) which team would you like it to be, and 2) what role on the coaching staff would you like to fill?

I would join the Raiders as a quarterbacks coach. They need a lot of help at that position.

Q. If you ran the Pro Football Hall of Fame, who would you throw out? And who among contemporary players is the most deserving of admission? Name as many as you like.

I would throw out...well, it's hard to say. Everyone in the Hall as at least one flaw. As for contemporary players, Brett Favre, Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Marvin Harrison...the usual suspects, would most likely be in the Hall of Fame.

Q. Is it important to you, when selecting a college to attend, that they have a decent football program? Why or why not?

It would be somewhat important, because despite the fact that you go to college to learn, it would be annoying if I went to a school where the team never wins.

Q. Which network's coverage (play-by-play, recap shows, etc.) do you enjoy the most?

ESPN and NBC are both great. The broadcasting teams are good as well as ESPN's SportsCenter and NBC's Football Night in America.

Q. How about the least? Whose coverage is the most irritating?

Any radio announcer who talks about plays going "left to right on my radio". Am I supposed to see the play on my radio?

Q. What's your favorite computer or video football game and why?

Madden or NFL Street. Madden because of the good graphics and realness, and NFL Street because of all the crazyness. It's a stark contrast.

Q. Favorite book about football? What's good about it?

The Paolantonio Report by Sal Paolantonio, an ESPN reporter. It's one of those books that you can just read over and over again without getting bored.

Q. What team's uniform and/or logo is in need of a total redesign? Any ideas for fixing it?

The Raiders. Maybe they need to move to Los Angeles again and change their name to the Los Angeles Cowards or something, changing their uniform in the process.

Q. Finally: In the course of these ten weeks, what question have you yet to be asked that you would really like me to ask you?

"How does the rest of the undefeated Titans' schedule look?"

Q. Now comes the part where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

Daunte Culpepper only completed five passes in his much-ballyhooed first start for the Lions.

NFL Week 9 Interview

2008-11-02T19:33:00.000-08:00

Well, it's Anniversary Weekend and Pre-Election Eve, so this week we're bringing you an abbreviated version of Henry's weekly rundown of all the NFL action.

Q. Instant prediction time! The Colts and Patriots are in the 4th quarter. I have the Colts + 1 point in my football pool. Am I going to get this game?

If the Colts can hold on, yes. They have some momentum now after Vinatieri made a 52-yard field goal. It's 18-15 Colts.

Q. Titans -- still unbeaten. This is a team that really seems to sneak up on people. Are they as good as their record indicates?

Well, now I can say they are. They barely escaped with a win against the Packers, but it was still a win. And they held the explosive Packers to one touchdown and three field goals.

Q. Rex Grossman returned to the helm of the Chicago Bears, a team he once guided to the Super Bowl. Do you think he can hang onto the starting job?

Only as long as Kyle Orton is injured. He's not very consistent and it's probably going to be hard for the Bears to keep him at the helm of their offense.

Q. The Bengals got off the schneid by beating a very strong J'ville team today. How'd they pull it off?

Well, Ryan Fitzpatrick threw for two touchdowns and Cedric Benson rushed for 104 yards. They had a pretty nice performance. They almost let the Jaguars make a comeback, though.

Q. Stop that CLE! And that's exactly what the Ravens did with their victory over the Browns today. I have a feeling this Ravens team is going to get stronger as the season wears on. Do you agree?

Perhaps, but it won't matter much, because they have to play the entire NFC East and Pittsburgh eventually.

Q. Tampa Bay outmuscled the Chiefs in overtime. This KC team always seems to come up just a little short. Is this team on its way up, or down?

Well, they're definitely on their way up. But they should have won. They were way ahead and somehow fell behind.

Q. The Vikings snapped the Texans' winning streak today. What was the key to their victory?

Well, Gus Frerotte had a nice game. He threw for three touchdowns and one interception. He was taking advantage of Houston's doing a nice job stopping the run.

Q. I am happy for me, yet sorry for you, that my Falcons beat up on your Raiders today. Is the Raiders' season a writeoff?

It appears so, unless Tom Cable can make some some sort of magical turnaround. The offense was terrible, as usual.

Q. Speaking of beatdowns, the Seahawks came in for a nasty one today at the hands of the Eagles. What's behind Seattle's discouraging slide -- is it just injuries?

Well, they've mostly recovered from those injuries. But some receivers plus Matt Hasselbeck are still out. Also, they can't seem to maintain leads, as they allowed 26 unanswered points.

Q. Miami/Denver was a very confusing game. How did the Dolphins manage to get by a very good Bronco team?

Well, they're just simply better than they were last season. They held on to their lead for nearly the entire game.

Q. Finally, the staggering Cowboys collapse just gets worse and worse. Brooks Bollinger got his shot today. Can he help this team, or are they just beyond hope?

Personally, I think Bollinger is overrated. Much like Tony Romo, his first pass as a Cowboy was intercepted. He really isn't much better than Brad Johnson.

Q. Finally, we come to the spot where Henry gets to type whatever he wants. Go to it, Hen!

What's unusual is that 24-0 scores are really uncommon.

NFL Week 8 interview

2008-10-27T19:19:00.000-07:00

Welcome back to Henry's rundown of all the action in week #8 of the NFL season. This time we're returning to the generic Q&A format, so take it away Hen!

Q. At this point in the season, who's the NFL MVP and why?

It's hard to tell. The usual favorites are all failing to do well in such an odd season.

Q. How about Coach of the Year?

At this point, either Jeff Fisher or Tony Sparano. Although Fisher's Titans have more wins, both coaches have turned around teams in turmoil.

Q. Rookie of the Year?

Chris Johnson, the quick Titans back. He's an integral part of the Titans' effective running attack, along with LenDale White.

Q. What coaches are on the hot seat right now? And in each case, is it their fault or are they just saddled with inferior personnel?

Marvin Lewis and Rod Marinelli, the coaches of the two 0-7 teams. They are saddled with inferior personnel, but they aren't introducing anything innovative to help their teams, like Tony Sparano is.

Q. I sure do like Mike Singletary. Liked him as a player; like him as a coach. Did you agree with his post-game rant? What do you think he was trying to accomplish?

Mike Singletary, usually known as a quiet coach, made a very disagreeable postgame rant. But he knows not to expect patience from the media, and also won't tolerate insubordination on what he's trying to establish as a smashmouth team.

Q. Elite NFL teams like the Colts, Patriots and Cowboys seem to be struggling this year. What's the problem?

They have to deal with injuries, i.e. Jeff Saturday, Tom Brady and several running backs and Tony Romo, respectively.

Q. In your 2009 NFL Preview, you picked the Super Bowl as Patriots-Cowboys. Care to revise that prediction? Who are the Super Bowl teams right now?

Well, now the Patriots have a chance to make it back to the AFC's elite, so don't count them out. But I can't submit a prediction. Why? There is no elite! The AFC's main good teams are the Patriots, Titans, Bills, Steelers and several 4-3 teams. The NFC has the Redskins, Giants, Panthers and even more 4-3 teams plus the 5-3 Cowboys.

Q. At this point, how would you assess the Brett Favre/Aaron Rodgers derby? Who's winning and why?

Well, the Packers and Jets are both 4-3. Both quarterbacks have been up-and-down. But right now, at least by public vote, it's Favre. We haven't seen Rodgers in a while. Rodgers has also been injured, and Brett Favre has just had many more memorable performances.

Q. Who's the most improved team in the NFL this season?

The 3-4 Dolphins. By adding a nice new set of personnel, along with the Wildcat formation, they've played well.

Q. Kind of an off question: Who's your favorite NFL broadcasting team and why?

Al Michaels and John Madden. Why not? They're pretty much the voices of football.

Q. What NFL websites do you habitually visit?

NFL.com is one. They're a great source for up-to-date news and transactions. I also frequent the NFL Transactions section of KFFL.com and the NFL section of ESPN.com.

Q. Now we come to the point where Hen can type whatever he wants.

Adam Schefter joked that Rob Ryan needs a Coors Light commercial earlier in the year; well, now Mike Singletary needs one too. Put him on the waiting list!

NFL Week 7 interview

2008-10-20T19:50:00.000-07:00

We are back with our customary rundown of the past week's pro football action. Henry has requested this be brief, as he is busy watching the Patriots summarily dismantle the Broncos, so I'll try to be pithy.

Q. Gotta start with the Cowboys. Everyone's Super Bowl pick is looking pretty inept right now. What's behind this team's utter collapse?

Overconfidence could be one reason. Maybe they started paying attention to the fact that everyone had them as Super Bowl winners. Of course, Tony Romo was injured, and Brad Johnson had a rough day.

Q. Mike Nolan -- fired by the 49ers. Thoughts? Is Mike Singletary a good replacement?

Mike Singletary has been waiting for a head coaching job for a while, after employments with the Ravens and 49ers. As for Mike Nolan himself getting fired, he had been on the hot seat for a while. The 49ers have talent, but they couldn't take advantage of it.

Q. Suddenly the Saints look pretty wobbly. Reggie Bush is injured, and Bad Citizen Jeremy Shockey is running his mouth again. Can this team pull it together?

Maybe, but it'll be difficult. Things looked promising before, but they don't look as good now. Still, though, they have Drew Brees, who is one of the NFL's premier quarterbacks.,

Q. Quite a shootout between the Vikings and Bears, with Adrian Peterson managing 224 yards and multiple TDs in a losing effort. Are either of these teams viable?

Well, so much for the defenses in the NFC North. And yes, they could be viable, but keep in mind that they're 3-4 and 4-3, respectively.

Q. Pittsburgh beat up on the Bengals. Was this game boring or instructive?

Well, it wasn't a blowout forever. The Steelers rattled off a lot of quick touchdowns in the late fourth. At one point, they only had a seven-point lead.

Q. The Titans just keep rolling. I have to say, this is the unlikeliest undefeated team I've ever seen. Why do they keep winning?

I don't know. They have a nice running attack with LenDale White and Chris Johnson, but keep in mind they have the Colts next week.

Q. The Giants escaped a bit of a scare in San Francisco. Are the defending champs a playoff team?

If they continue to win. It might be difficult down the stretch, playing in the NFC East, but with the NFC East collapsing, it might not be as hard as it seems.

Q. The Houston0Detroit game was closer that you'd expect. Are the Lions rebuilding?

They made a nice comeback from being down 18. They only ended up losing the game by one touchdown. But yes, they're rebuilding. They and Cincinnati are the only two winless teams.

Q. How about this Brett Favre controversy? Apparently he spent over an hour tipping the Lions on how to beat his former team. Gross!

I heard on NBC's Football Night in America that he denied those reports. Although he's pretty bitter about getting traded from the Packers, it doesn't seem like the kind of thing he would do.

Q. Green Bay rolled over the Colts. What happened to faultless Peyton Manning?

The faultless Peyton Manning we knew hasn't shown up in a while. They're going into tough game against the Titans, who won't be overlooking this game.

Q. Go Raiders! Talk to me about your emotions as Janikowski nailed that record-setting field goal.

First of all, it seemed like there was a chance of a tie, as Janikowski's field goal came with less than five minutes left in overtime. It was a low-scoring game in general. But a 57-yard field goal? What are the odds of that? I was excited, despite the fact that it was another game we lost in the football pool.

Q. Meanwhile, my Seahawks are stinking up the joint. Is this season a total write-off?

Unfortunately, right now it appears so, unless they can start winning again.

Q. Redskins -- good or lousy? I can't tell. Perhaps a veteran NFL analyst like yourself has some perspective.

That was a close game. A scoreless first half made it seem like it was going to be rather boring, but with a touchdown and a two-point conversion when down 14-3, they made it a three-point game. Unfortunately, the Browns failed to convert and the Redskins held on. However, as I've said, I believe they still have to play all the teams in the NFC East at least once more.

Q. We're almost at the season's midpoint. What have you learned?

Well, the power rankings of the teams have definitely shifted a lot. Cincinnati's 0-7. The Titans are undefeated. The Colts are struggling to win games. But it looks like year-round under-the-radar contenders like the Steelers are taking advantage of that.

Q. Now comes everyone's favorite part of the blog -- when I hand the keyboard over to Henry to type whatever he wants.

If this pace keeps up, we'll have six coaches fired by the end of the season.

NFL Week 6 Interview

2008-10-13T19:28:00.000-07:00

It's a crazy season, and I'm here with a crazy NFL analyst. Welcome, Henry. For a change of pace, I want to occasionally focus on coaching today. But first...

Q. Talk about the little bit of NFL history we saw made this weekend. It was certainly your kind of play.

A blocked punt -- much more common in college than in the NFL -- was returned for a touchdown as Arizona beat Dallas in overtime. When you think about it, it's not very unusual that this never happened before. Blocked punts are really rare, and although there have been a few this season, the chances of one showing up in overtime are astronomical.

Q. Tony Romo -- out for four weeks, broken pinky. Fatal for the Cowboys?

Maybe. Brad Johnson is an OK backup who they signed off the free agent market this offseason, but yes, it will really affect them.

Q. How cool is Kurt Warner? I don't like Matt Leinart, but I actually feel a bit bad for him sitting idle on the bench.

Well, Kurt Warner actually isn't looking too bad. He's been very erratic at some points, and he's also looked really accurate at some other points.

Q. Would you keep starting him, or give Leinart a shot?

Unless he starts doing really badly and the Cardinals start losing, Ken Whisenhunt shouldn't give the job to Matt Leinart. Although he's been on the bench for a while, he still hasn't done anything to prove he should have the job.

Q. Leinart, Tarvaris Jackson, Vince Young... a lot of promising young franchise quarterbacks are getting benched this season. Why?

Mostly because of ineffectiveness. Also, they haven't just been ineffective, they've been inconsistent. That quarterback draft class (2006) hasn't looked as good as they were supposed to be.

Q. The Rams finally picked up a win. Is Jim Haslett making a difference to this team, or was he just lucky?

Well, he might be, but he said himself that the team was practicing hard and really wanted a win -- and they did get it.

Q. Those crazy Dolphins! I know they narrowly lost to the Texans, but they sure looked impressive with all those insane Wildcat variations. Is this Tony Sparano or Bill Parcells?

I don't think it's either of them. Offensive coordinator Dan Henning probably had to run the idea through Parcells and Sparano, but it wasn't him, either. The Dolphins' quarterbacks coach observed the formation while he was at Arkansas.

Q. Go Falcons! Mike Smith is doing a great job, and the fact that he has a neo-Tom-Brady in Matt Ryan sure doesn't hurt. Is this a playoff team?

If they can continue on like this. That was a great 11-second drive by the Falcons offense to set up Jason Elam.

Q. Jaguars and Broncos -- big, muscular teams that can put up a lot of points. I know the Jags got the victory, but are they actually better?

Well, the Broncos didn't really do their best. There was a lot of room for improvement, especially for Jay Cutler. As for the Jaguars, they just took advantage of what was not an outstanding performance.

Q. The Eagles turned it on to beat the Niners, but even so, people are starting to ask pointed questions about Andy Reid. Has the game passed him by?

It doesn't look like that yet. The Eagles had a nice victory over the 49ers, which for some reason doesn't prove to me that Andy Reid should no longer be their head coach.

Q. Indy beat up on Baltimore. I can't figure these Ravens out. You?

They are very inconsistent. Joe Flacco has been really up and down. I thought he was overrated coming out of college, but he has looked OK. The Ravens, however, are going to have to stick to their good side to produce a playoff berth.

Q. Poor Raiders. I wish they'd kept Lane Kiffin. I'm starting to feel like this season is a writeoff.

What season isn't? The Raiders lost a lot of momentum, and it doesn't look like Tom Cable is going to be able to help them much, with little head-coaching experience.

Q. Minnesota-Detroit was a battle of the mediocres. Which of these teams has something to build on?

Both teams. The Vikings had no reason to be needing a last-second field goal to beat the winless Lions, especially the Lions with Dan Orlovsky at quarterback.

Q. The Orlovsky safety -- worst play of the year?

It was not that great. You can't really call Orlovsky an inexperienced quarterback -- he has played for the Lions in several situations over a few seasons.

Q. Once again Jeff Garcia is gunning for the starting job in Tampa. Why won't anyone take this guy seriously?

He doesn't have a great record. His breakout seasons were with the 49ers, then he went to mediocre Browns and Lions teams. He showed some nice flashes as a backup for the Eagles, but hasn't really done anything with the Buccaneers yet.

Q. My Seahawks seem to have a problem with stinking. Can they pull it together?

Well, this game was actually looking kind of promising, but then they got outscored 17-6 after it was 10-10. However, things are looking up a bit, because this was without Matt Hasselbeck and Seneca Wallace.

Q. The Chargers sure made a statement against New England. Are these teams going in opposite directions?

That's a good question. The question is, are the Patriots are going to be the good team without Tom Brady that beat the Chiefs and 49ers, or the bad team that lost to the Dolphins and Chargers?

Q. Who's your Coach of the Year at this point?

At this point, it's hard to tell. There aren't really any emergent Super Bowl favorites yet. There are only two undefeated teams, and one is the Giants, who are trailing Cleveland 35-14 in the fourth quarter. The other, the Titans, have only played five games, not six.

Q. Yes, but what coach is doing the most with the least at this point in the season?

Not to sound evasive, but there are a lot of coaches who could fill that. Mike Smith is one, if the Falcons continue to do well.

Q. Now I hand the keyboard over to Henry to type whatever he wants.

Does Dan Orlovsky have bad vision, or has the end zone suddenly expanded?

NFL Week 5 Interview

2008-10-05T20:27:00.001-07:00

Once again, I'm here with sports analyst Henry to run down all the exciting action in Week 5 of the NFL season.

Q. I want to start by talking about the few remaining undefeated teams. Who are they, and are they actually that good?

A. Well, they're the Titans and Giants. They've both played a couple of tough games, but it's hard to tell who's tough and who isn't because of what's been going on in the AFC. Also, despite the NFC being very strong, the strong teams are eventually going to meet each other.

Q. Now the winless teams. Who are they, and are they actually that bad?

A. Bengals, Texans, Rams and Lions. Yes, they are that bad. The Bengals have had chances to beat tough NFC East teams, but haven't succeeded. The Texans can't hold onto leads. And the Lions and Rams are just bad.

Q. How about the Texans' epic collapse today? Was it all Sage Rosenfels' fault?

A. He shouldn't have fumbled the ball, but keep in mind that those plays were scramble runs, which probably happened because nobody was open.

Q. This crazy Dolphins offense... Can they actually make a run with this deranged two-RB attack?

A. Perhaps. But they still have to play the Jets again, the Patriots again, the Bills, the AFC West... It doesn't look good down the stretch. But they have beaten the Chargers and Patriots.

Q. Are the Dolphins a playoff team?

A. We'll see if they can turn it around. However, we are only five games into the season, and for the Dolphins four.

Q. Who deserves credit for the turnaround?

A. Give credit to the Dolphins' staff and the players both. The staff surprised other teams with the Wildcat formation, and Ronnie Brown, Ricky Williams and the rest of the offense have executed it well.

Q. Someone else tried the direct snap today, didn't they?

A. That was the Patriots, but not in the Wildcat formation. It was a direct snap to Kevin Faulk in a goal-line situation.

Q. Speaking of the goal line, what's with Andy Reid and the Eagles' goal-line approach? He keeps trying to punch it in and failing.

A. That's something they're definitely going to have to work on, especially because they play in one of the toughest divisions.

Q. Does that goal-line approach bespeak a lack of confidence in Donovan McNabb's passing?

A. It could be that, or it could just be bad play-calling. And remember, this time it wasn't a goal-to-go situation. They had a short first down inside the ten-yard line. So they could have gotten a first down before a touchdown.

Q. The Seahawks got brutalized today. What happened?

A. Maybe getting back the receivers didn't help the Seahawks after all. They looked just as bad in their 44-6 loss.

Q. That Chiefs blowout today made me think maybe the Panthers are for real. You?

A. They've looked really good, but remember that it was a 34-0 blowout against the Chiefs.

Q. Overall: Exciting week or boring week? I thought it was fairly boring.

A. Fairly boring, but there weren't too many prime-time matchups. The Colts' comeback was nice, though.

Q. Five games into the season, what has surprised you the most?

A. The fact that the only undefeated team in the AFC is the Titans -- the Kerry-Collins-led Titans.

Q. I'm very surprised by the Redskins and the Cardinals. Perennial disappointments, both these teams look almost competent. What do you think?

A. Competent is a bit of an understatement. The Redskins made a comeback victory over the Eagles, and the Cardinals destroyed the Bills.

Q. What team is the biggest disappointment so far?

A. The Texans. Several people, including ESPN The Magazine, didn't envision Houston being winless at this point in the season.

Q. Any other standout performances from Week 5 you'd care to note?

A. Standing out in a bad way was Brian Griese's less-than-100-yard performance after putting up huge numbers in previous games. He did get injured late in the game, and was replaced by Jeff Garcia, who completed the same amount of passes in a lower number of attempts.

Q. Now comes the part where I hand the keyboard over to Henry to type anything he wants.

A. Is there ever going to be a time when we know whether a quarterback is sitting out a game or not?

NFL Week 4 Interview

2008-09-29T18:50:00.000-07:00

We are back (a day late -- sorry about that) with Henry's weekly rundown of all the exciting NFL action.

Q. What was the overall theme of this weekend's games?

A. Upsets and teams getting pushed too far. The Cowboys looked as overrated as some people think they are. And the Rams just fired Scott Linehan, while the Raiders are probably going to fire Lane Kiffin.

Q. Did Linehan deserve to get whacked?

A. Well, if the Rams are going to do better, a lot of changes will have to be made. This was just one of many. They've already benched Marc Bulger and several other starters, all in an attempt by owner Chip Rosenbloom to improve the franchise.

Q. What about Kiffin? I actually think the team is playing pretty well for him.

A. Pretty well, but not well enough to hold onto leads, which they've failed to do in the past two games, and nearly failed to do in Week 2.

Q. One more Raider question before we move on: A 76-yard field goal attempt?? What the heck was that?

A. Well, Lane Kiffin had enough confidence in Sebastian Janikowski to try one of the longest field goal attempts in NFL history. It didn't exactly work though, and Antonio Cromartie, who set a record for the longest NFL play last year, attempted to return the miss but only got 28 yards.

Q. You mentioned the Cowboys. How did the highly questionable Redskins manage to stop the Cowboy juggernaut?

A. Everyone just played pretty well. Despite the injuries to the secondary, the defense did well, shutting down Tony Romo. Also, the lack of a running game for Dallas didn't help Romo much, either.

Q. We're now far enough into the season that we should be able to tell which teams are actually good, but I'm finding this difficult. What's your opinion?

A. The Bengals aren't looking that great, as they're now 0-4. Same with the Rams. But some other previously winless and horrible teams like the Browns and Chiefs won, so we'll see how they do for the rest of the season.

Q. Name the four top teams in the league right now.

A. The Titans and Bills are looking pretty good, but those are just the sleepers. Otherwise, the title of Best Team is up for grabs. Dallas lost, Philadelphia lost, New England had a bye, and Indianapolis had a bye.

Q. OK, but I'm still going to press you on this. In spite of all the confusion, who in your opinion are the teams to beat in each conference?

A. Despite perhaps not being the best, everyone still wants to beat former elite teams like the Patriots and Colts in the AFC, and the Cowboys and Eagles in the NFC.

Q. Last week everyone was saying Brett Favre looked old and worn-out. Then he drops six TDs on the Cardinals. Are they bad, or did he suddenly get good, or what?

A. Brett Favre had never gotten six touchdown passes in his career. And now he finally does it when he's about to turn 39? It's interesting. The Cardinals put up five touchdowns in the second half, but the Jets eventually pulled away.

Q. I think the Cardinals are always going to stink because of their lame-o logo. You?

A. That's an interesting thought -- except their logo has only been this way for a few years. Or maybe it would help if they stopped relocating and changing their name.

Q. I wish I knew if the Falcons were any good. Who can tell?

A. They didn't look good against the Panthers, that's for sure. But they haven't looked that great otherwise, either. There was one win against the Lions in which they looked really good; there was another win against the Chiefs where they looked good as well. But the Chiefs and Lions are really bad.

Q. Which Ohio team is more pathetic?

A. Depends on whether they're playing against each other or not. In a game in which Jamal Lewis was the leading rusher for either team with 79 yards, the Browns made a comeback and won by eight points.

Q. Texans-Jaguars and Eagles-Bears seemed to pit pairs of teams which were evenly matched.

A. Well, they didn't, because the Texans had looked bad until that game. However, Houston lost anyway on Josh Scobee's second consecutive game-winning field goal against a divisional opponent. In Eagles-Bears, the Eagles didn't look as great as they did against the Cowboys previously, but only barely lost. This was by the same margin of victory that the Cowboys had over them.

Q. Let's move off games for the moment and talk about coaches and players. What coaches at this point in the season are impressing you the most?

A. For the last game at least, Tony Sparano of the Dolphins. Now we're not sure how they'll look after their bye, but beating New England by 25 points is a great accomplishment.

Q. Who else?

A. Jeff Fisher. He's been heavily criticized, but benching Vince Young has led to a 4-0 start.

Q. Will the Dolphins modified single-wing formation fool anyone after the bye week?

A. If opposing coaches have practiced stopping it enough, it probably won't have as much success as it did against New England. Still, you have to factor in the element of surprise. Think of how the cornerbacks feel when they're defending a quarterback.

Q. What rookies are turning in standout performances?

A. Chris Johnson of Tennessee and DeSean Jackson of Philadelphia. Johnson hadn't been much of a pro prospect at East Carolina, where no one watched any of his games. But he's looking very explosive, and some people are comparing him to Adrian Peterson. As for Jackson, he's had a couple of embarrassing plays, but even though Philadelphia's receivers have come back from injury, he's looking good.

Q. Finally: What games are you most looking forward to in Week 5?

A. Dallas-Cincinnati, Carolina-Kansas City and San Diego-Miami.

Q. And now comes my favorite part of our weekly recap -- the part where I hand the keyboard over to Hen to type anything he wants.

A. Wonder how many coaches will have been fired by the end of the season.

Update

2008-09-28T19:52:00.000-07:00

Sorry, but I'm delaying the Week 4 update until Monday.

NFL Week 3 Interview

2008-09-21T17:50:00.000-07:00

Q. Biggest surprise of Week 3?

The Dolphins, especially the offense that Dan Henning (the offensive coordinator) used. Similar to Mississippi's "Wild Rebel" formation, it netted Ronnie Brown four rushing touchdowns and one passing touchdown.

Q. Biggest disappointment?

The Browns, who allowed three third-quarter touchdowns to the Ravens to go to 0-3. They're not looking as good as everyone thought they would. Soon, Browns fans will be chanting "Brady, Brady, Brady!" again.

Q. Outstanding individual performances?

Brian Griese. He went 38/67 (three short of the record for passing attempts) for 407 yards against the Chicago defense.

Q. Big letdowns?

The Patriots, who eventually benched Matt Cassel in a 38-13 loss to Miami at home, snapping their 21-game regular season winning streak. There were the Panthers, who just starting to look good again. There were the Colts, who, despite being very beaten up themselves, lost to the injury-demolished Jaguars.

Q. What team is better than their record would indicate, and why?

The Chargers, who lost their two games on a last-second touchdown pass from Jake Delhomme to Dante Rosario and Ed Hochuli's much-talked about blown call.

Q. What team is worse than their record would indicate, and why?

The Giants, who aren't that bad but beat a weaker divisional rival by three field goals, a victory over one of the NFC's worst and needed an overtime field goal to beat the winless Bengals.

Q. Coaches on the hot seat?

Marvin Lewis, because of the Bengals' inability to return to form and an 0-3 record.

Q. Surprise quarterbacks (good and bad)?

Chad Pennington, who finished with only 3 incompletions; players from other positions playing quarterback, who were a combined 3/3 for 48 yards. That is, unless you count the NFL.com glitch that says that Eagles tackle Tra Thomas completed one pass for four yards. As for bad performances...well, there were Derek Anderson and Tyler Thigpen, just to name a few.

Q. Backups who turned on notable performances this week?

Ravens running back/fullback LeRon McClain, who ran for 66 yards on 17 carries plus two touchdowns. Technically, though, McClain is not a backup.

Q. Emergent trends?

As I said in the last interview, the Chiefs' quarterback play continues to be terrible. Even with just one quarterback (Tyler Thigpen) they are doing badly.

Q. Big games of Week 4, and your predictions?

Vikings-Titans, Eagles-Bears, Packers-Buccaneers and Jets-Cardinals look to be interesting games. Look for the Jets to be eyeing the top spot in the AFC East if the Patriots continue to underperform (New England has a bye). Also, see if the Vikings can keep their momentum.

Q. Final line where you type anything you want.

Since when did Jon Gruden turn into June Jones?

NFL Week 2 Interview

2008-09-14T20:22:00.000-07:00

Q. We are BACK with Week 2 of Henry's trenchant football analysis. This week, your interviewer suffered a cruel defeat in his office football pool, picking only three out of fourteen games. So it is with barely controlled rage that I ask Hen the following questions.

Hello, Henry. Two weeks in, do you see any trends starting to emerge?

A. The trend that I see starting to emerge is Kansas City attempting to somehow succeed by using three quarterbacks, one of whom was a converted wide receiver who hadn't taken any snaps at quarterback since college at Virginia.

Q. You like when players who aren't quarterbacks play quarterback, don't you?

A. That's not the point. My point is that the Chiefs have no chance of winning games with three mediocre quarterbacks.

Q. Who else carried the banner of mediocrity this week?

A. Hmm, let's see. Perhaps the Lions, who allowed 24 fourth-quarter points after scoring 34 fourth-quarter points last year, an NFL record.

Q. Why in the world do the Lions let general manager Matt Millen keep his job? He is wrecking that franchise.

A. Well, they looked pretty good last year, but this year is probably going to end up just as bad as all of the years before. Actually, the first half of last year. The Lions started out 6-2 in the first half of the year, but were 1-7 in the second half.

Q. Bears/Panthers. The Panthers eked out another narrow victory. Which of these teams is for real?

A. The Panthers are looking fairly good, and in a division that includes the Saints, Buccaneers and Falcons, who aren't as good as they once were, they could do well. However, we'll have to wait and see how the Bears and the Panthers do.

Q. Tennessee/Cincinnati. Let's skip over how embarrassingly poor the Bengals looked at home. The Titans have opened 2-0, even given all their VInce Young issues. Does this team have what it takes to make a playoff run?

A. Remember that they still have to play the Colts twice, the Jaguars once, the Texans twice, and the Steelers, Ravens and Browns, so their schedule isn't that easy.

Q. Do you feel bad for Vince Young?

A. I guess. It doesn't really matter anymore how his injury is, because all the controversy surrounding what he and his mother Felicia Young said has effectively benched him. Also, there were a couple more incidents throughout the week.

Q. We talked about the Lions' collapse, but how 'bout the Packers' Aaron Rodgers? Has he answered his critics?

A. It appears so. He's 2-0 as a starter, and 2-0 in the NFC North. He's using an excellent receiving corps that includes Donald Driver and Greg Jennings, who have become his favorite targets. The running game isn't that bad, either, but Ryan Grant has dealt with a hamstring injury. Brandon Jackson broke a long run today against the Lions, and he's one of several backup running backs.

Q. Jacksonville kind of imploded today. Can they get it together?

A. Perhaps. They didn't look that great, and they've scored a total of only 26 points in their two games, which is just more than the Lions scored in their 23-point loss alone.

Q. RAIDERS! Do you believe in this team?

A. Darren McFadden has looked really good. He got extended playing time due to the injury to Justin Fargas on an attempted pass by JaMarcus Russell.

Q. Is Russell any good? I can't tell at this point.

A. Me either. He's looked fine so far, but the Raiders' running game looked very good against the Chiefs. However, the Chiefs did lose defensive lineman Jared Allen, who was last year's leader in sacks.

Q. You seem eager to talk about Colts/Vikings. Thoughts on that game?

A. The Vikings collapsed even though they managed to outplay the Colts. Eighteen unanswered points in the second half was all Indianapolis needed to win the game, and the Vikings managed only five field goals.

Q. Giants/Rams. Could the Rams look any more pathetic at this point?

A. I'm really not sure. They're looking as bad as they did last year in an 0-8 start. Amani Toomer and Plaxico Burress had big games for the Giants.

Q. Should Scott Linehan keep his job?

A. It depends on if the Rams show any good flashes, and how much confidence the rest of the staff has in him.

Q. New Orleans/Washington. How did the Redskins pull this one out?

A. I'm not sure. They came back from nine down, and survived a missed two-point conversion.

Q. How do you like Jason Campbell?

A. He's pretty good. Not exactly one of the best quarterbacks, but he had one of his first 300-yard games in a while.

Q. How about Reggie Bush, nailed for taunting when he made that "bye-bye" gesture on his last touchdown? Is he turning into a bad citizen? And do you think that motivated the Redskins?

A. I don't think he's turning into a bad citizen. It was just a bit of a mental error. But it may have motivated the Redskins a bit.

Q. My Seahawks collapsed! How did they manage to lose to such an obviously inferior 49er team?

A. I'm not quite sure how good the Seahawks are at the moment. They've had so many injuries at wide receiver, including their starting punt returner, that quarterback Seneca Wallace had to be moved to wide receiver and punt returner.

Q. And now... the Falcons. What in the world happened today? They looked so crisp last week.

A. Last week against the Lions. Even though word got out later in the day that the Buccaneers had attempted to trade Jeff Garcia back to the 49ers (his old team), Brian Griese quarterbacked the team to victory. This is his second stint with the team. The first time, he got knocked out with an injury and was replaced by Chris Simms, now a Titan.

Q. Miami/Arizona. I have to confess, I find both these teams crushingly boring. You?

A. I just found it a bit surprising that the Dolphins, led by Chad Pennington, lost by three touchdowns to the Kurt-Warner-led Cardinals. And this is not the Kurt Warner who won a Super Bowl and set passing records.

Q. How about how the Dolphins brought in another Chad (Henne) in the fourth quarter? Are they losing confidence in Pennington?

A. You know, it seems like there hasn't been a team in a while that hasn't lost confidence in Chad Pennington. It was hard to tell whether he or Kellen Clemens was the starter last year. He's also very injury-prone.

Q. The Rat-Coach won again! How did you feel about his ratlike attempt to go for two to beat the Chargers?

A. Weird. He seemed to think that passing to the same wide receiver, rookie Eddie Royal, for both the touchdown and the two-point conversion would work. And somehow it did.

Q. I think the Chargers were totally thrown when the Broncos came out going for two.

A. It must have been a little surprising. Also, I have to note that LaDainian Tomlinson left the game after ten carries for 26 yards. Darren Sproles filled in admirably, but he still isn't LaDainian Tomlinson.

Q. Two games to go. How about the Matt Cassel era in New England? Does this guy have what it takes to go the distance?

A. Cassel didn't do too great, with 165 yards, no touchdowns, and no interceptions, but the Patriots rode four field goals to victory. In the running game, the Patriots weren't very effective either, with LaMont Jordan getting the most yardage. But the Jets were similarly ineffective, with their only touchdown coming on a pass from Brett Favre. However, Brett Favre was also picked off by Brandon Meriweather for his first interception as a Jet.

Q. Pittsburgh/Cleveland was so boring that we turned it off. How disappointing do the Browns look this season?

A. Really disappointing. And they still have a few prime-time games to go.

Q. That concludes our game-by-game wrapup. As is traditional, at this point I turn the keyboard over to Henry to type whatever he wants.

A. On Brandon Lloyd's blocked punt return touchdown for the Bears, it looked a lot like he was trying to steal a score from his teammate.

NFL Week 1 Interview

2008-09-07T20:27:00.000-07:00

Hello, sports fans. This is the first installment of what we hope will become a weekly Sunday night NFL recap with our resident sports analyst, Henry.

Q. Well, Week 1 is in the bag, and there were quite a few surprises, both good and bad. Let's start with the good. What team really exceeded your expectations this week?

A. The Panthers and the Bears. The Panthers somehow managed to beat the Chargers on a last-second touchdown pass from Jake Delhomme to Dante Rosario, but actually, the Chargers had needed a comeback anyway. The Bears beat the Colts by 16 points. The ridiculous, mind-numbing, short-pass-obsessed Colts offense didn't help them win at all. The Falcons also exceeded expectations, with Matt Ryan's first NFL attempt being a 62-yard touchdown pass to Michael Jenkins.

Q. How about the unpleasant surprises of Week 1?

A. So much for the Browns and their five nationally televised games. They got blown out by Dallas. The Texans also were supposed to do well, but they got destroyed by Pittsburgh.

Q. All the talk is about Tom Brady's injury. What are you hearing?

A. It's supposedly an ACL injury, but we've never known if Tom Brady has had a groin injury, or a foot injury, or some kind of injury. Now he has another injury to add to the list.

Q. How are the Patriots set for backups?

A. It was an up and down preseason for the backups. Matt Cassel did terribly. Matt Gutierrez was really good at some points. And Kevin O'Connell, the draft choice, didn't see much playing time (or at least I didn't see much of his playing time). Gutierrez was the odd one out and got cut. But Cassel looked good in his relief time against the Chiefs.

Q. How about these Chris Simms rumors? Could he be the answer?

A. Chris Simms has been looking for someplace other than Tampa Bay for a while. He got cut, then lost out in a free agent tryout along with Joey Harrington for the Ravens. Todd Bouman was signed. Also, the Cowboys were looking at him for a while. Since the Patriots already have two backups, it would be weird for them to sign Chris Simms, but he probably has a better chance of leading them to win games than Cassel or O'Connell.

Q. What did you, as a sports analyst, learn from Week 1?

A. Injuries are getting a lot more common. Two starting quarterbacks were knocked out of the Patriots-Chiefs game (Brady and Brodie Croyle), and Dallas Clark also left the Colts-Bears game with an injury.

Q. Big individual performances in Week 1?

A. Matt Forte, the Bears' rookie running back from Tulane, definitely. Against a Colts defense that had Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathis on the line, he got a ton of rushing yardage. Reggie Bush, who has been rather disappointing, had a really good game catching passes and running the ball.

Q. Let's look at our favorite teams. I know your Raiders don't play 'til tomorrow. How about the Falcons? Are they for real?

A. Well, they were against a Lions team that, while being pretty good, was coming off a 1-7 streak to end 2007. Also, they somehow squandered a 21-point lead, and the Lions cut the lead to one touchdown at one point. As many people have been saying, Matt Ryan and Michael Turner did pretty well.

Q. Seattle -- what happened? They looked awful.

A. Maurice Morris was knocked out of the game with an injury at one point. So much for the running back tandem. Also, how did they allow Roscoe Parrish to get that punt return touchdown? It was ridiculous.

Q. How about the Jets-Dolphins game? Did Brett Favre look good?

A. He did, but the Dolphins nearly won the game. What CBS focused on right after the half, during the television broadcast, was the many miscues. The Dolphins had a decent chance to win the game, but Chad Pennington somehow lost his ability to complete a pass.

Q. Does today change your impressions about the top teams?

A. A little. The Eagles looked great against the Rams. And the Redskins didn't look so good against the Giants, losing by 9. As a matter of fact, the Giants didn't play so well, either. But that's just the NFC East. I don't think that Chargers and Jaguars fans should be too worried by the opening-day losses. They still have the ability to contend for the Super Bowl. Also, my Super Bowl prediction may not work now. Despite Cassel looking pretty good, Tom Brady is one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL.

Q. Play of the day?

A. Brett Favre's touchdown pass to Chansi Stuckey on 4th and 13. He had to escape an intense pass rush. But give some credit to Stuckey. I don't think that pass was intended for any receiver.

Q. How do you think your Raiders will fare tomorrow night against the Rat Coach (a.k.a. Denver)?

A. Well, Darren McFadden isn't officially the starter yet. Justin Fargas is the actual starter. The Raiders' defense has been recently famous for not stopping the run well. The Broncos have many running backs they can use. An example of the bad run defense was when they allowed then-rookie running back Kolby Smith to tear apart their defense.

Q. Final thoughts on Week 1?

A. It'll be interesting to see how the season plays out.

Q. Now, I turn the keyboard over to Henry to type a final line saying absolutely anything he wants.

A. Matt Cassel is probably glad now that he got to sit behind two Heisman Trophy-winning quarterbacks at USC.

Henry's 2009 NFL Preview

2008-08-09T11:03:00.000-07:00

This is an interview with Hen. Let's talk football!

Q. Were you surprised by the outcome of last year's Super Bowl?

A little. The Patriots were favored heavily to win the game, because it would give them an undefeated season.

Q. Why do you think the Giants won?

Well, a lot of really weird plays involving Eli Manning. And their good amount of pressure on Tom Brady.

Q. Any chance the Patriots could go 19-0 this year?

Probably not. They'll probably do well, maybe even win the Super Bowl, but I doubt they'll go 19-0. Especially in a division that now includes Brett Favre.

Q. Let's talk about the Favre deal. Were you surprised he came back?

Well, a little. Although I think it was the wrong thing to do. The Packers had been training Aaron Rodgers as their starter, and then they got distracted.

Q. What makes a football player who's retired change his mind like that?

They think they can't bear it without football.

Q. Final question on Brett: Do you think he makes the Jets a playoff team?

A wild card team at the most, because the Patriots pretty much have that division sealed.

Q. Let's talk about our favorite teams for a moment. Raiders -- how are they going to do this year?

Well, there's no way to know. Their showing against San Francisco in the preseason opener was pretty good, with undrafted back Louis Rankin and backup quarterback Andrew Walter highlighting the game. The Raiders were also helped by four San Francisco turnovers.

Q. On to... the Dolphins! What are their chances?

Chad Pennington is an improvement, but the division has gotten even harder with the addition of Brett Favre. The Dolphins also play the Jets in the season opener.

Q. And now... Seahawks!

They'll have to rely on Maurice Morris and Julius Jones in the running game, because they cut Shaun Alexander, who's now still a free agent. Not many teams are showing interest in him, though, most likely because of his age. At quarterback, Seneca Wallace put up a good showing in the first preseason game.

Q. Is he Seattle's quarterback of the future?

You can't entirely say that, because he's been a career backup for Matt Hasselbeck. But they also occasionally use him as a wide receiver on trick plays.

Q. Trick plays -- I know you love those. Tell me a few of your favorites.

The frequent halfback passes the Chargers use with LaDainian Tomlinson are the most notable of the NFL's trick plays. Can we talk about San Diego for a little while? And Atlanta?

Q. Sure. Your thoughts on the Chargers?

The most notable preseason battle for the Chargers is Jacob Hester competing with Darren Sproles for the #2 running back job. Michael Turner signed a multimillion-dollar contract to start for the Falcons, and he originally held that role.

Billy Volek has proven himself to be a capable backup at quarterback, helping the Chargers beat the Colts in last year's AFC divisional playoffs.

Q. And the Falcons? There's a mess they're trying to clean up.

They lost Alge Crumpler to the Titans (probably on purpose), signed the aforementioned Michael Turner, drafted Matt Ryan, and are pretty much remaking their entire team. Draft pick Matt Ryan still hasn't gotten the starting job from former insurance salesman Chris Redman, who hadn't really played actively since a few seasons with the Ravens and Titans a couple of years ago.

Q. Tell me your picks for each division winner.

In the AFC East, the Patriots will probably win, but the wild card spot is undetermined, with the Jets, Dolphins and Bills all fighting very hard. Keep in mind that there are also only two AFC wild card spots.

In the AFC North, it's a pretty fierce competition between the Browns and Steelers, with the Bengals and Ravens lagging behind. The Bengals are doing better than the Ravens, but they're still not doing as well as the Steelers or Browns.

The AFC South is a really tough division, with the Jaguars, Texans and Titans trying to beat out the Peyton-Manning-deprived Colts. Peyton Manning's injury isn't too serious, but we don't know how long he'll be out. Jim Sorgi is desperately trying to fill his role.

The AFC West is the most uncertain of divisions. The Chargers are doing the best, but the Raiders, Chiefs and Broncos aren't looking too good.

Q. On to the NFC.

The NFC East is, as usual, the hardest division to figure out. The Super Bowl champion Giants return many of their starters, but the Cowboys and Redskins are close behind. As for the Eagles, they're in a strange state at the moment, with all these Donovan McNabb rumors and only an okay 2007 season.

Q. What McNabb rumors?

In the early offseason, everyone thought Donovan McNabb could be traded, or this, or that. These rumors were most likely fueled by A.J. Feeley's near-unseating of the then-undefeated Patriots.

Q. McNabb -- overrated?

I'm not sure. We haven't seen him in a while, because he's rather injury-prone, and I personally didn't get to see his showing in the preseason game, so I have no idea how good he's looking right now.

Can we do the NFC North?

Q. Go ahead.

This is going to be an interesting division. The Packers will have to rely on Aaron Rodgers, the Lions are relying on aging Jon Kitna, the Vikings are hoping they can win the division with inconsistent Tarvaris Jackson, and the Bears still don't know whether Kyle Orton or Rex Grossman can start. In fact, the best performance in the Bears' preseason loss was by backup Caleb Hanie.

In the NFC South, the Falcons are coming off their thorough rebuilding project. And the Panthers are hoping that Jake Delhomme won't get injured. They had to start him, undrafted rookie Matt Moore, David Carr and even Vinny Testaverde. David Carr is now the Giants' backup and Vinny Testaverde is retired.

By the way, Matt Moore was the quarterback of Oregon State when they upset Matt Leinart's USC Trojans.

As for the Saints, they won their preseason opener and are looking pretty good, but that wasn't even a full showing of their team. Marques Colston, one of their best wide receivers, wasn't playing. Mark Brunell, now serving as the New Orleans backup, looked pretty good.

Q. What about bad citizen Jeremy Shockey?

Oh yes, Jeremy Shockey. Hopefully he'll be able to cool down his attitude now that he's in New Orleans. And he didn't even play in the preseason opener.

Finally, the Buccaneers. If they had managed to get Brett Favre, Jeff Garcia would be the Dolphins' quarterback right now and not Chad Pennington. But they have to move on. Jeff Garcia has been plagued by injuries, forcing Luke McCown, brother of Josh McCown (the Dolphins' backup), to start a couple of games. They also have Brian Griese and Josh Johnson, a rookie.

The NFC West. The Cardinals, 49ers and Rams are all trying to look good. The Cardinals are still trying to negotiate with holdout wide receiver Anquan Boldin, one of their best players. As for the Seahawks, the other member of this division, they're the favorite to win it, but they have to overcome the losses of Shaun Alexander and D.J. Hackett, one of their wide receivers.

Oh yeah, they also lost great kicker Josh Brown to the Rams, who needed a kicker because of the retirement of Jeff Wilkins. Now Olindo Mare and Brandon Coutu are competing for their kicking job.

What's next?

Q. Hen predictions! Talk about three rookies who you think will make a difference to their teams this year.

Probably Darren McFadden for the Raiders, Sedrick Ellis for the Saints, and when he gets to start, Matt Ryan.

Q. Surprise team of the year?

Jaguars, maybe? They still have the great running-back tandem of Fred Taylor and Maurice Jones-Drew, plus an improving David Garrard, whose receiving corps is helped by wideouts Jerry Porter and Troy Williamson.

Q. Bust of the year?

Maybe the Steelers. Ben Roethlisberger is injury-prone, and this time there might not be Charlie Batch to help them. They'll need to sign Byron Leftwich, who is coming in for a workout. However, several scouts have said that Byron Leftwich doesn't fit well into teams' offenses. Also, they're under pressure from the Browns, who will easily be able to snatch the division title if they slip up.

Q. Time for Hen's Super Bowl pick! Who will be the Super Bowl teams?

In the AFC, there are always the same competitors, which leads me to believe that the Patriots will most likely be the Super Bowl team. Even if the Jaguars can unseat the Colts to get the division title, they'll probably lose to the Patriots. I also have a dark-horse candidate for the AFC: The Chargers.

In the NFC, it's hard to tell. There are so many competitive teams: Cowboys, Seahawks, Saints, Buccaneers... Redskins and Giants... So I'm not sure.

Q. OK, but I'm going to make you pick: Who will be playing in Super Bowl XLIII in Tampa on February 1, 2009, the day after you turn 11?

I'll have to say the Patriots and the Cowboys. This is by no means a good pick, but it's the only thing I can think of.

Q. And the winner?

If those teams went up against each other, it would probably be the Patriots.

Q. There's your pick, folks: The New England Patriots. You heard it here first. Final thought from Hen?

I don't know.

=end of interview=

Translation = Faulty

2007-10-08T19:53:00.000-07:00

The group of sentences "He is not favorable. They must be examines to you from the complete blood. No meat for it. Pig, lam, a lot in a potenziometro. They want same case or constructed I for the last time!" is actually "Do not be favorable. You must be stripped of all your blood. No meat for you. Pig, lamb, all in a pot. Marry me or die for the last time!" after many translations and translations back.

You may be wondering where I was. Well, that's for me to know, and you to find out.

Soccer season has begun, and my team, the Gold Fire, is 2-2. I scored a goal in our third game, and also received a sportsmanship pin. Last week, we played the #1 team in the league and lost, though we dominated the second half.

The CNBA has also begun.

Boredom + iPod = Life + (Even more) Boredom

2007-06-02T09:22:00.000-07:00

What should I write about?

Oh, yeah. I don't understand why people would be attracted to the weird Nerf-Blaster 5,000 things. Are darts made of colored foam and plastic suction cups supposed to be menacing? They don't even stick to anything.
????????????????????????????

In the CNBA finals, the Purrs will face the Cavatears or Plistons.

Woohoo!

2007-04-17T20:21:00.000-07:00

Do you think I'm singing Song 2? Well, I'm not.

Probably just my odd happiness symptoms. Although, it's actually Opposite Day. That means it's not. That means it is. That means it's not. That means it is. That means it's not. That means it is. That means it's not. That means it is. That means it's not. That means it is. That means it's not. That means it is. That means it's not. That means it is. That means it's not. That means it is. That means it's not. That means it is. That means it's not. That means it is. That means it's not. That means it is. That means it's not. That means it is.

PARADOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That means it's not a paradox. That means it is. That means it's not a paradox. That means it is. That means it's not a paradox. That means it is. That means it's not a paradox. That means it is. That means it's not a paradox. That means it is. That means it's not a paradox. That means it is. That means it's not a paradox. That means it is. That means it's not a paradox. That means it is. That means it's not a paradox. That means it is. That means it's not a paradox. That means it is. That means it's not a paradox. That means it is.

Opposite Day never made any sense to me.

Look at this from another entry:

hen: Hoping there's no spam coming up here...

10:06 AM

fob: juust staart singin` thiis soong an` everythin` will bee allwrite. oon toop off aa skolbuus, al covesred iin blold, i sott mie freind brainy withh a siccetyx-fiev fott guun, ii toook hiim too thhe hoostpittall buut hee wasint cuitte deead, soo ii toook baazoookka an` shott oof hiis heead,ii weent too hiis funnerell, ii weent too hiis graave, soome peepol through floowers buut ii throuGH AA GREENADDE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DERE WASINTY DAT GOOOD????????????? DANK YOU ALLL FOOR COMIN` HEER TOO SEA MEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3:01 PM

hen: Note: That comment was approved by the blog administrator for amusement purposes.

Jeff Greenstein: That editorial remark by the blog administrator is pretty much the funniest thing I've ever read.

I found that funny, and you might too.

Hey wait, it's Opposite Day.

That means it's not. That means it is. That means it's not. That means it is. That means it's not. That means it is. That means it's not. That means it is. That means it's not. That means it is. That means it's not. That means it is.

AAAAAARGH!

Yayayayayayayayyayayay!

2007-03-03T08:40:00.000-08:00

The Huskies are now 5-2-1...

EDIT: It doesn't work anymore.

qwertyuiop

2007-01-06T13:55:00.000-08:00

Ignore title.

The Huskies won their first game against the Matadors, 22-14.

Atlanta Talks Roster

2007-01-02T10:21:00.000-08:00

11 Bestbans Pasta
6 Nedrick Bozoman
1 Joshua Child
12 Speeding Claxton
36 King Ivy
2 Joe (John's son)
44 Solo Jones
10 Tyronn Lue
14 Slave Medicalender
27 Zaza Cahuilla
5 Josh Blacksmith
20 Salem Stoutmirrore
24 Marzipan Williams
33 Shellter Billiards
42 Lorenzen Writing

EDIT: AAARRGGHHH!

...Silence

2006-12-31T19:04:00.000-08:00

H...a...p...p...y
N...e...w
Y...e...a...r

Hear Peep New Yay Pen Paw! (coded message)

eaeeeaea
5-3
E-C
hrppnwyypnpw
1-1-4-2-2-2
a-a-d-b-b-b

ecaadbbb
Bad Be Cab
Cab, be bad!
Who wants a bad taxi?
(a)xt
(a)ys
taxys
taxy
taxi
Taxi?

Interview #3

2006-09-22T21:02:00.000-07:00

This interview with Henry was conducted in the downstairs office on the night of September 22, 2006.

1. How is third grade treating you?

Fine. I don't have many new classmates. I already know everyone except for a few people.

2. What did you think of the movie Cars?

I thought that they used the wrong idea. By the wrong idea, I mean that this was nothing like Finding Nemo or Toy Story or The Incredibles or anything like that. Also, some of the parts were a bit cheesy. And they overused the Radiator Springs setting.

3. Tell us about making pickles.

It's fun. I like putting the pickles in, and then messing around with the amount of peppers. They didn't come out as well as I expected, though. I should have made a more distinct flavor, so I suppose it has to do with the fact that the person who was cooking the pickles ran out of the sour flavoring.

4. How is your new soccer team different from your previous ones?

Well, number one, we have a real coach. Number two, we have a real team. Number three, we actually practice. Number four, and so on, and so on, and so on.

5. Do you need an iPod? If so, why? If not, why not?

I'm not sure. If I get one, it'll probably be from the Innisbrook Wraps thingy at my school. It's a weird thing where you sell wrapping paper and get prizes. When the person was announcing the Grand Prizes at the assembly, and she said XBox 360, everyone yelled. It was annoying. I covered my ears because it was so loud.

6. Tell us what goes into the making of a Hen playlist.

I look through the Top 1000, my Favorite Artists playlist, the bakery playlist, and other ones of my favorite artists that aren't listed in my Favorite Artists playlists. I also just add songs that I like that haven't been used on too many of my playlists, or haven't been used at all.

7. Do you think the Raiders will go 0-16? A lot of people are saying they might.

No. I have not seen a team go 0-16 in my entire life. I have seen two teams go 2-14, though. The Raiders have to get at least one win.

Final record: 2-14

8. Let's talk about the song, "House of Bamboo." What is your favorite lyric from that song? How would you describe the song to someone who had never heard it before?

I like the "You must get to know Soho Joe" part. I would describe the song as odd but good.

(You can download the song here.)

9. What do you think will happen in the final Lemony Snicket book, which is coming out in a couple of weeks?

I think there will not be a happy ending, because it's called A Series Of Unfortunate Events, not A Series Of Fortunate Events That Are Kind Of Unfortunate But There's Still A Happy Ending At The End.

10. Write a quick three-line poem.

(It's a haiku.)

T__ is crazy. I
wonder what the remainder
of that name could be.

EDIT: Had to delete a lot of spam on this post.

Soccer 2

2006-09-22T20:36:00.000-07:00

To get into the soccer playoffs, you cannot have more than 5 losses.

Mini Chapter 1

2006-09-12T17:09:00.000-07:00

Chapter Mini 1: Not The Kirani Nui Attack
Vesock: Uhhh... Kirani Nui died.
Me: He did?
Vesick: Yeah.
Veclock: Wait...
Vezoo: Uh-oh...
Vetalk: Why is my name spelled wrong?
EMWINNV's non-riddle speaking clone (EMWINNVNRSC): Hey! EMWINNV hasn't spoken since this!

*FLASHBACK*
The End of Chapter 1

Obi-Wan Reidak: Hey! I don't have any lines!
Me: Too bad!
EMWINNV: There once was a Piraka who was supposed to be blown up...
Kazi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Obi-Wan Reidak: You blew up too!
*END FLASHBACK*

Obi-Wan Hahli: (In announcer voice) Hey kids! Would you like to see me and the Obi-Wan Inika in chapter 3? Vote online at somewhereoverthepiraka.com!
We'll all see you in chapter 3!

Soccer

2006-09-09T11:07:00.000-07:00

I won my first soccer game in two years! Yay!

Two chapters of my weird bionicle thingy

2006-09-04T18:39:00.000-07:00

Chapter 1: The Obi-Wan Piraka

Me: Hello and welcome to Ask Vezok!
Enslaved Matoran Who Is Not Not Velika (EMWINNV): There once was a matoran who was forgotten...
Me: And his co-host EMWINNV. (sighs)
Vezok: Hey wait a minute. Where's the computer?
Me: You're holding it.
Computer: First question, then.

Vezok,

Are you really a beast?

From,
Tahu Nuva

Vezok: Yes. Rawrrrrrrrrr!
EMWINNV: There was once a Piraka who lied to his enemy...
Kazi: Grrr!
Me: REWIND!
Vezok: No.
Me: NEXT!

Vezok and Velika,

The Hakann is coming! The Hakann is coming!

From,

Obi-Wan Thok

Vezok: No, he is not. Piraka Mail!

BOOM!

*Vezok's door blows up, revealing the Obi-Wan Piraka*
Obi-Wan Thok: See?
Vezok: I own a door?

Obi-Wan Hakann: You are goin' down, baby. Down!
Everyone: What?
Obi-Wan Hakann: Sorry.

*shoots Velika, oh, I mean EMWINNV*
*he blows up*
*Poor EMWINNV*
Obi-Wan Zaktan: Who writes these captions?
CWG: I have feelings too!
Obi-Wan Avak: That's it!

Obi-Wan-Avak: I have a plan.
Obi-Wan Hakann: No! Let's go out and fight!
*They all get blown up by Vezok. Yay!*

The End of Chapter 1

Obi-Wan Reidak: Hey! I don't have any lines!
Me: Too bad!
EMWINNV: There once was a Piraka who was supposed to be blown up...
Kazi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Obi-Wan Reidak: You blew up too!

Chapter 2: The Toa

Vezok: Uh-oh...
Obi-Wan Hewkii: Hi!
Vezok: Who are you?
Obi-Wan Hewkii: I Am Your Conscience!
Vezok: No you're not.
Obi-Wan Hewkii: Ha. You sound like Ko-Ko-Kongu!
Kongu: Mwahaha!
*Kongu is absorbed into the computer*
Comp: Question #1,000,000. Hey! Who did that!

Kirani, Toa Nuva Of Word Control: Hee hee hee.

Dear KONGU Kirani KONGU

Spam KONGU Spam KONGU!

From,
The Toa Inika!

Jaller: KONGU!
Hahli: NUPARU!
Nuparu: HEWKII!
Kongu: MATORO!
Hewkii: HAHLI!
Matoro: JALLER!
Kirani: EVERYONE EXCEPT KONGU!

Me: You are insane.
Vezok: Piraka Mail!
Comp: NEXT!

Vezahki, *stop it, kirani* (oh yeah) *yeah* (i shall become kirani nui) *nooooooo*

Kirani Nui's behind you.

From,
Obi-Wan Hewkii
P.S. Seriously

*Vezok turns to see...*
*KIRANI NUI!*

To be continued...

?

2006-09-03T09:43:00.000-07:00

?Thetakerscanonlytalklikethis?
?Includingthequestionmarks?

???????????????????????????????????

I don't know.
I don't think so.
Random Takers Quote: I am insane?-C.R.A.Z.Y. Pinnock

Aye aye, captain!

2006-08-31T14:51:00.000-07:00

And now, presenting...

2006-08-31T14:42:00.000-07:00

The 2nd worst team!

Play Ballen #34
Kick Coliseum #4
Towel Felix #16
Vanny Starboardson #21
McKaël Baleofhay #15
Rashardsofglass Ewis #7
NoHands Metro #27
Duke Bidpour #8
Mooshamed Scene #18
Robert Slow #31
Pearl Batson #25
Kiss Whalecox #54
Famine Pillmins #12
Spike Dills #29

(It is the Blooper-Sonics)

The Takers...uh-oh.

2006-08-28T15:06:00.000-07:00

New roster!
54 Salami Red F-C 6-11 270 03/10/1982 Glynn Academy HS (GA) 5
24 Crkobeazy Pieant G 6-6 220 08/23/1978 Lower Merion HS (PA) 10
17 Andrew Skynum C 7-0 275 10/27/1987 St. Joseph HS (NJ) 1
43 Pian Cookbook F 6-9 258 12/04/1980 Illinois 3
6 Nori Evans G 6-5 220 11/08/1978 Texas 3
5 Gourdan FarBar ** G 6-2 180 11/30/1986 UCLA R
11 DeMini Greeny (FA) G-F 6-7 210 10/25/1982 Hampton 1
24 Jim: Jack's son (FA) F-G 6-6 220 10/14/1970 Ohio State 14
2 Narod McTree G 6-5 209 10/02/1972 Temple 12
31 Chris Mimicry C-F 7-0 265 07/16/1979 Texas 6
7 Pakari Ovodom F 6-10 230 11/06/1979 Rhode Island 7
1 Crunch Darker G 6-4 180 06/01/1981 Fordham 3
25 C.R.A.Z.Y. Pinnock ** G 6-5 207 12/11/1983 George Washington R
10 Vampire Dracula F 6-10 234 11/19/1980 Serbia & Montenegro 5
21 Ronny AstroTurf F 6-10 249 01/13/1983 Gonzaga 1
18 Glosha Vujakick G 6-7 195 03/08/1984 Slovenia 2
23 Pond Wafer G 6-5 210 07/21/1985 Florida State 1
4 Nuke BallTone F 6-8 232 03/28/1980 Arizona 3
3 Shamrock Williams G 6-1 201 04/05/1975 North Carolina 6

Just a quick one

2006-08-21T13:53:00.000-07:00

Heh.

Hi again...

2006-08-20T15:21:00.000-07:00

Camp's out. I'll be able to do more blog posts with (un)interesting content such as the Miami Seat winning the championship.
By the way, check out scorched praying mantis. It has been inactive since June, but it's still strange and nontextish.
(Yes, that's not a word.) The NFL preseason is in Week 2. Look at my new picture for proof.

And now for something completely different...

In the interview, the funniest thing that I've read has changed due to another trip to Bookstar, but I don't want to spoil the surprise.

I leave you guessing...

Bye again.

See you soon.

Interview #2

2006-08-02T21:08:00.000-07:00

This is a post to both bluefourthreenine and the Weird Blog. It features Hen & Jeff’s answers to a series of questions.

1. What have you been doing lately?

Hen: So many things I can’t list all of them.

Jeff: Working on Desperate Housewives, thinking up new shows, and acquiring two more vintage cameras.

2. It’s 9:36 a.m. on a typical morning. Where are you and what are you doing?

Hen: Doing Checkmate (a chess class) at camp.

Jeff: Driving to work.

3. What did you have for lunch today?

Hen: Cookies, applesauce and crackers.

Jeff: A Bob’s Big Boy turkeyburger, a green salad and some lemonade.

4. It’s been incredibly hot lately. What’s your favorite way to beat the heat?

Hen: Stay inside.

Jeff: Lock myself indoors and turn the air conditioning down to 40.

5. What was the last song you listened to?

Hen: “Kids in America” (alternative 7” mix) by Lawnmower Deth, which I happen to be listening to now.

Jeff: “My Mathematical Mind” by Spoon, which I listened to in the car on the way home.

6. What book are you currently reading?

Hen: A Series of Unfortunate Events.

Jeff: Susan Sontag: The Making of an Icon.

7. Name a TV show you’ve enjoyed lately.

Hen: Danny Phantom.

Jeff: Life on Mars (on BBC America).

8. What was the last movie you saw & liked?

Hen: “Leroy & Stitch” (the last episode of Lilo and Stitch).

Jeff: Wordplay.

9. Superpower of your choice: flying or invisibility?

Hen: Invisibility.

Jeff: Flying.

10. Favorite current toy?

Hen: Matoro Inika (a Bionicle set).

Jeff: Petri Color 35 (a compact 35mm camera from the ‘60s).

11. Web sites you read on a regular basis?

Hen: bzpower, mugglenet, and a bunch of other things.

Jeff: Defamer, Hollywood Reporter, Variety, MacSurfer, and all my friends’ blogs.

12. What color is your favorite T-shirt?

Hen: White.

Jeff: Orange.

13. The last big argument you were involved in was about...

Hen: Independence.

Jeff: Responsibility.

14. When I walk into a record store, I head straight to the following section...

Hen: Techno or synthpop.

Jeff: ‘60s psychedelia and garage rock.

15. Funniest thing you’ve read recently?

Hen: (from Bionicle Legends #3: Power Play): Jaller turned to Nuparu. “You’ll have to fly us over.” “Now wait a minute,” Kongu broke in. “Let’s be sensible. Nuparu and I can switch masks and I’ll do the flying.” Jaller was going to respond, but never got the chance. “That does make sense. I can’t argue with it. But destiny, for whatever reason, gave me this mask. There has to be a reason for that.” “Destiny has a sense of humor?” jeered Kongu. “I think I’m supposed to have it. I’m not going to give it up. Not yet.” Then he broke into a grin. “Besides, flying’s kind of fun.” “Wonderful,” said Kongu, shaking his head. “They can deep-carve that on our memorial stones — “but at least Nuparu had fun.” Nuparu rose into the air and grabbed on to Kongu. Before the Toa of Air could protest, Nuparu had him halfway across the gorge. When they reached the other side, he unceremoniously dropped Kongu to the ground.

Jeff: Probably something from The Onion.

This concludes our interview. Send in more questions!

Um......

2006-04-23T12:19:00.000-07:00

I'll be back!

2006-04-18T18:17:00.000-07:00

I am taking a little break from my blog. I will resume on the weekend. (sorry)
For now...

I was here

2006-04-14T16:14:00.000-07:00

http://www.legoland.com/California.htm

I had a lot of fun at LEGOLAND. I went with 2 friends. It was surprising. In a manner of speaking.
The †ake®s play the ƒåile∂ Lase®s at 7:30.
Hope they lose. They will.

`¡™£¢∞§¶•ªº–≠œ∑´®†¥¨ˆøπåß∂ƒ©˙∆˚¬…æ“‘Ω≈ç√∫˜µ≤≥÷

For snake lovers

2006-04-12T10:29:00.000-07:00

Codes

2006-04-11T16:29:00.000-07:00

I got a code thingy. You can send secret messages with it. It has something called a "Morse code flash". Very obviously it flashes Morse code. It has color encrypted paper. (Yay!) You also get a code library, including Braille, The Pigpen code, and other codes. Take note that you can design your own. On a piece of paper that is a layout for the codes in the library. I enjoy it. I might post a more detailed description later.

Tea leaves

2006-04-10T16:59:00.000-07:00

Fontsey

2006-04-07T18:12:00.000-07:00

Click the above.

I have been busy.

2006-04-05T16:19:00.000-07:00

Yes, I have been busy. Missed a few days. I'll pretend my last post did not exist. The Takers are wondering why they can't win.
Answer:Their best shooter has only made one shot. See them against the Seat!
Funny Quote of the day:(backstory-I am doing a musical in school. One of the groups is the Army of Ants. The CD had a problem)
Marching by the M-M-M-M-M-M-Millions

Goodbye

2006-04-01T18:13:00.000-08:00

I am sorry, I will be deleting this blog. Goodbye, everyone.
I enjoyed having one. I got the inspiration from two friends.
I will depart now.
Bye!
([fake]cries)
APRIL FOOLS!

Something's fishy.

2006-03-31T21:02:00.000-08:00

HP

2006-03-30T19:03:00.000-08:00

I'm a Ravenclaw!

A Harry Potter sorting quiz... post your results if you want. I like it.

CRAZY

I'm a Crazy Person!
Link to A HP Quiz!

Comic

2006-03-29T18:45:00.000-08:00

The next comic is coming very soon. I like the new characters. One of them loves taking baths, but is secretly dead. I don't know how he stays alive. His name is Rammy.

Exclusive fact:
Badly-Drawn Hamstie likes handball.

(untitled)

2006-03-28T14:00:00.000-08:00

I use a program called SubEthaEdit. It enables more than one person to edit the same document at the same time. I really like it. I invented this crazy person named Tow Jr. who I put every time, replacing my name for being crazy.

I'm thinking of a number between 0 and 0

2006-03-26T09:30:00.000-08:00

Boring title. Anyway, I am getting around to making the 2nd comic from the A.T.H.B.G. Hamstario is one of the characters. I am going to a friends' party. I think I will have fun there. Random thing:

Hmmmmmm...

2006-03-24T18:43:00.000-08:00

Your typical flights

2006-03-22T07:33:00.000-08:00

My two flights Atlanta to Dallas and Dallas to Burbank, were delayed a combined 15 times! At one point there were not any flight attendants. It got in 4 hours late. I am still tired from that.

Comic pt. 2

2006-03-14T20:12:00.000-08:00

Comic pt. 1

2006-03-14T20:11:00.000-08:00

Comic delay

2006-03-14T18:47:00.000-08:00

An error has delayed the comics. Sorry, guys.

Comic/Takers update

2006-03-12T08:36:00.000-08:00

If you guessed Hamsty's Hamsty's StoatHamsty's Comics, you are correct.
As hana said, ¥å¥¡ ˆ ˚˜ø∑. I will post a copy on Monday or Tuesday.

In the takers' problems, UVsPWVALXVUMVV8PWQ4UVhIaBVgOE0cOEUBbXF1GDApTUkRLXARBVwlvEgxLW
BZcEUEKVhFqWwgPXkZnVFVfAVxaBR5aBEdRBl8QGgVDFVYARgVfPEFOE
QQIWVFWXxcEal0GBQhTCwZHWxU8SgQIWFwFQEMGRkM_E1tAVQUGAEsEBQ has been signed. (for absolutely no reason at all.

CCCSS

2006-03-10T20:18:00.000-08:00

I am making a weird comic where one of the characters loves Chocolate Candy-Coated Sunflower seeds. I think it is funny. I might scan a copy and post it.

Funny excerpt

2006-03-09T17:32:00.000-08:00

Edit: Deleted for partial plagiarism.

Random photo

2006-03-07T18:02:00.000-08:00

Here we are now

2006-03-05T12:54:00.000-08:00

Lizards and Mantis and Hamstie, Oh My!

2006-03-04T16:11:00.000-08:00

The Lizards lost to the Cavatears, 13-6. SPM is getting up. Hamstie is getting down. The Lizards only have one more game left. Three posts on SPM today! (one by me, two by hana).

NekoOnDesktop

2006-03-02T20:19:00.000-08:00

http://homepage.mac.com/takashi_hamada/Acti/MacOSX/NekoOnDesktop/index.html is a weird application where cats roam around the desktop and other places. It is very fun. In the NFL, a lot of people were released.

Amazing race premieres

2006-03-01T16:17:00.000-08:00

The Amazing Race has premiered, along with Want The Billups and other takers invitees.
As I said, Pakari Ο. έχει κυκλοφορήσει στο εμπόριο. Hamstie is not going well. Speaking of hamstie, Καλώ μια καλή εφαρμογή LittleSecrets.

接受人的Ovodom 被暫停和被販賣對位子。

2006-02-28T18:34:00.000-08:00

Pakari Ο. έχει κυκλοφορήσει στο εμπόριο. Ο αέρας στο κέρδος
έχει υπογραφεί από τους ρόλους. Η πολύ περισσότερη ουσία
συνέβη. Τυχαίο μήνυμα:
Αύγουστος είναι ο καλύτερος μήνας για

It is in greek.

Takers good with Absurd

2006-02-27T19:28:00.000-08:00

Even though the takers lost, it was just because Crkobeazy Pieant missed a last minute shot against the Treitics. "We are just doing worse." - DeMini Greeny. They are.

I'm back.

2006-02-26T12:27:00.000-08:00

I am back from my 1 3 / 4 day trip. I'll get back to posting soon.

Absence.

2006-02-24T07:38:00.000-08:00

You will not see me post until Monday.

SPM

2006-02-23T18:41:00.000-08:00

Scorched Praying Mantis, my other blog, is not going well. Neither are the Takers. They have hired Very Absurd (good one hana) as their coach. They waived Air-On Profit, Smorie Account, and Oni Hobbit.

Read an interview with me!

2006-02-22T19:23:00.000-08:00

My dad interviewed me.

Takers update

2006-02-22T17:31:00.000-08:00

Pond Wafer promoted! He scores 0 points! That's amazing!
There is some unexciting news!
Did you know that according to a researcher at Cambridge University, it does not matter in what order the letters in a word are; the only important thing is that the first and last letter be in the right place. The rest can be a total mess and you can still read it without a problem. This is because the human mind does not read every letter by itself, but reads the words as a whole.

Try reading this:
Red alret! Red aelrt! The Tkears are terlbire. In csae you did not konw, The traeks need a new ccoah. Tehy shluod hrie Rhzziana.
I downloaded Can You Raed Tihs? to get that.

Roster

2006-02-21T16:14:00.000-08:00

Miami Seat:
49 Whandon Panderson
30 Earl Tearron
51 Michael DoLeak
4 Fitzgerald Fitzgerald
40 Udonis Hasflem
24 Jason Kaputono
33 Alonzo Morning
32 Tequila O'Seal
20 Scary Dayton
42 Blames Rosy
25 Wayne Simular
3 Dwyane Paid
8 Coin Talker
55 Bassason Williams
1 Door Wright

CNBA Teams

2006-02-20T15:34:00.000-08:00

Boston Treitics, Miami Seat, New Jersey Wets, New York Clicks, Orlando Tragic, Philadelphia 00ers, Washington Lizards, Atlanta Talks, New Orleans Store-Its, Chicago Rolls, Cleveland Cavatears, Detroit Plistons, Indiana Tracers, Milwaukee Tucks, Toronto Chapters, Dallas Lovericks, Denver Tuggles, Houston Pockets, Memphis Fizzies, Minn. T-Balls, San Antonio Purrs, Utah Pazz, Golden State Scurriers, Los Angeles Flippers, Los Angeles Takers, Phoenix Buns, Portland Failed Lasers, Sacramento Blings, Seattle BlooperSonics.

Because of a request of one of my readers, you will see a roster soon.

Takers

2006-02-19T13:01:00.000-08:00

The takers are bad at hiring head coaches. They don't have one.

Um......

2006-02-18T15:47:00.000-08:00

Um.., those are images.

New blog.

2006-02-18T11:13:00.000-08:00

I have created a team blog. Come to it at scorchedinblack.blogspot.com.

Quote

2006-02-16T18:47:00.000-08:00

πøß† √å¬´˜†ˆ˜´æß ∂å¥ œ¨ø†´…

Word:
Hamstie™
Quote:
Zach:(to miles) Which one of these comics do you think is more popular?
Zach: Hamstie, Calvin and Hobbes, and Garfield.
Zach: I think Hamstie.

Final score

2006-02-16T16:54:00.000-08:00

Atlanta Clocks 114, L.A. Takers 110
Ovodom and Cookie got burned.

Caesar salad

2006-02-15T16:17:00.000-08:00

My friend made up this thing about caesar salad.
"Caesar salad has an unusual red color and is native to the Amazon, which tastes like salty towels and is salty and is shaped like a tetrahedron."
That is a combination.

Take the takers!

2006-02-14T19:06:00.000-08:00

Pieant loses the ball.
BREAKING NEWS

The takers have fired head coach Mill Quackson. The position is available. Post a comment if you want to be HC. Quackson had only won 1 game against the Lizards.

Look here

2006-02-14T16:16:00.000-08:00

http://www.google.abrahamjoffe.au/
It gives you a different google logo every time you come.
Weird.