Last season's fantasy football

Last season was an interesting season as far as fantasy football was concerned. My team, the Fighting Squiggles, who had a squiggle on their logo, finished in a disappointing fourth place. Despite ridiculous strength at QB and RB, with Roethlisberger, Ryan and Tebow at quarterback and Rice, Mendenhall, Lynch and Sproles at running back, I was plagued by inconsistency at other positions, despite having players like Dwayne Bowe and Mike Wallace. I was forced to rely on people like Laurent Robinson. And at tight end and defense, I was hopeless. I actually finished the season with Kellen Winslow and the Redskins defense. I slipped in as the fourth seed, and I still had lofty goals for the playoffs, but I suffered a first-round exit against the top seed "Newton Flames," and I also failed in the third place game. I only bring this up because I just read a book called Fantasyland by Sam Walker about a sportswriter who tries to win the country's most competitive fantasy baseball league. I highly recommend it. Anyway, this made me look forward to next season while also looking at last year's results.

Last year's NFL Draft Grades

Here are my (very old) grades for LAST YEAR's NFL draft. Some postseason analysis is added.
Perhaps using this, we can help predict what will happen this coming year.

Arizona Cardinals
 
The Cardinals had a productive draft. Lucky Arizona picked up CB Patrick Peterson with the No. 5 pick, then proceeded to pick up the talented running backs Ryan Williams, and later Anthony Sherman, to help their inconsistent running game. They also acquired Texas' Sam Acho in the fourth round and stole UNC's Quan Sturdivant in the sixth. These two linebackers will probably replace two of the Cardinals' current linebackers, Clark Haggans and Joey Porter. However, Haggans and Porter still have a good year or two left. The Cardinals didn't draft a quarterback. Perhaps they believe former undrafted free agent Max Hall is the answer. He showed promise last season. Or maybe young John Skelton or Derek Anderson is. Maybe even journeyman Richard Bartel is. At this point, we can't be sure.
 
(Later analysis: Patrick Peterson has panned out quite well. Despite some coverage errors, he has almost broken a single-season record for punt-return touchdowns. Ryan Williams suffered a tendon injury in the preseason that resulted in him landing on IR. Acho has proved himself to be competent at linebacker. As for the quarterback situation, Anderson was traded to Carolina, and Arizona traded for Kevin Kolb. Kolb started all the games until an injury led to him being temporarily replaced by Skelton. Skelton was benched in one game and replaced by Rich Bartel. The Cardinals need a quarterback.)

Atlanta Falcons
 
The Falcons had an incredible draft, trading up to the sixth pick to select Julio Jones from Alabama. They sent Cleveland a king's ransom in draft picks, though, including next year's first rounder. Still, though, the Falcons managed to pick up more good talent with their remaining four picks, including Jacquizz Rodgers, who will hopefully bring some extra energy to Atlanta's running game. That pick required another trade. The Falcons also drafted one of the two drafted kickers, Matt Bosher from Miami. There was only so much they could do with their remaining picks, but they still achieved a lot and had one of the best drafts.
 
(Later analysis: The Falcons gave up a lot for him, but Julio Jones has shown flashes of brilliance. So has Jacquizz Rodgers. Matt Bosher is being used as a punter.)

Baltimore Ravens
 
Baltimore's draft got off to a bad start after the flubbed trade with Chicago, but they still picked Jimmy Smith, who they had wanted all along. They then proceeded to bolster their passing game by picking two great deep threat wide receivers, Torrey Smith of Maryland in the second round and Tandon Doss of Indiana in the fourth. Apparently, Joe Flacco had already requested that Baltimore draft Doss. And so, he got his wish. Anyway, at least according to NFL.com's grading system, Doss was a great value pick late in the fourth round. The Ravens also bolstered their defensive line, offensive line and secondary with the picks of Pernell McPhee, Jah Reid and Chykie Brown. Their last two picks were also quite interesting. They actually drafted a quarterback, agile Tyrod Taylor from Virginia Tech. I questioned this move at first. But then I heard Mike Mayock say, "Their backup QB is Hunter Cantwell," and it made a lot more sense to me. In a similar move, Baltimore drafted Anthony Allen, a RB from Georgia Tech.

(Later analysis: Torrey Smith looks like a good deep threat weapon for Joe Flacco, and has caught a number of touchdown passes.)

Buffalo Bills

Buffalo was probably pretty thankful when Marcell Dareus dropped to them at No. 3. Another Alabama defensive lineman, another great player for the NFL. Early in Round 2, they drafted Aaron Williams, a defensive back from Texas. The rest of the draft was somewhat questionable. Buffalo kept drafting players at the same positions. They drafted two more linebackers, two more defensive backs, and one more defensive lineman. Their other two picks were an O-lineman, Chris Hairston, and a running back, Johnny White, from North Carolina. White enters an already overcrowded and inconsistent backfield.

Carolina Panthers

We all know that the Panthers drafted Cam Newton to start their draft. I think he'll be a good player in the NFL. I question, though, if he will get the starting job right away. He probably will, but maybe he shouldn't. The Panthers shouldn't give up on two of their draftees from last year (Pike and Clausen) immediately. Besides Newton, their draft was pretty decent. It's clear that coach Ron Rivera wants to start anew. Rivera, a defensive coach, acquired two d-linemen on Day 2, to make up for losing Julius Peppers last year. The Panthers only drafted one more skill player in the draft - a fifth round pick, wide receiver Kealoha Pilares. He'll join the young Carolina receiving corps that includes three players, David Gettis, Brandon LaFell, and Armanti Edwards, who have all just completed their rookie seasons.

Chicago Bears

Da Bears had very few draft picks this year, but they did what they could. They drafted lineman Gabe Carimi from Wisconsin in the first round. Hopefully, he'll cut down the sack numbers and prevent Jay Cutler from taking so many hits. They helped their defense by drafting Stephen Paea, who will bring a new strength to that famed Bears defense, a defensive back, Chris Conte, who they hope can help their secondary, and a linebacker, James Thomas. Their fifth round pick was very interesting - they drafted a third quarterback, Nathan Enderle. Theoretically, the Idahoan would back up Cutler and Caleb Hanie.


Cincinnati Bengals

The declining Cincinnati Bengals drafted some big-name players in this draft. With the fourth pick, they drafted top receiver A.J. Green from Georgia, who could fill in instantly now that Chad Ochocinco has been traded to New England. In the second round, they made a controversial move by drafting Andy Dalton, a potential replacement for another key player, Carson Palmer. They then filled needs throughout the draft, taking a d-lineman, an o-lineman, a free safety, another wide receiver (more depth is needed now that Ochocinco has left), a cornerback, and a running back from Baylor, Jay Finley, who could see time if Cedric Benson departs Cincinnati.

(Later analysis: Wow. Dalton and Green led Cincinnati to the playoffs as rookies. The offense revolved around them. They did suffer a first-round exit.)

Cleveland Browns

Mike Holmgren and the Browns had a fantastic draft. It all started with the trade with the Falcons. The Browns moved down many spots, but acquired so many picks from the Falcons that they actually gained quite a lot. They most notably bolstered their offense. Using picks from the Falcons, they drafted fullback/linebacker Owen Marecic, who will definitely help Peyton Hillis' rushing numbers, and wide receiver Greg Little, a powerful weapon in the receiving game. The Browns also drafted a tight end, Jordan Cameron, from USC (another former basketball player.) And they helped out their defensive line by spending their top two picks on linemen. They didn't get the strongest players, by any means, but I think the Browns will be a team to watch next season, with McCoy and Hillis anchoring the offense.

(Later analysis: Even Marecic could not stop the downward spiral of Peyton Hillis' season. The Browns were only a team to watch if you liked boredom. Greg Little was decent.)

Dallas Cowboys

There isn't really that much to be said about the Cowboys' draft. They spent their 9th overall draft pick on Tyron Smith from USC, and their 40th pick on Bruce Carter from North Carolina. Not really big name players, but according to NFL.com, they filled needs. They didn't do much good after that. For some reason, the Cowboys drafted two more running backs. DeMarco Murray and Shaun Chapas weren't really necessary as the Cowboys are still struggling to figure out their current situation. The other picks weren't too notable either, but I suppose the Cowboys just didn't make a splash this year, unlike last year (Dez Bryant.)

(Later analysis: I didn't think Murray was necessary, but he certainly was. He replaced Felix Jones and put up outstanding totals. He may start this year.)

Denver Broncos

Controversially, Denver selected Von Miller with the no. 2 overall pick. I don't deny that he is an excellent player, so I don't have a problem myself, but many other people do. They added a speed pass rush element that they couldn't have gotten with Marcell Dareus. The Broncos were quite busy throughout the rest of the draft, with eight more picks. They made several trades along the way. It was questionable that they added two more linebackers later on, but the Broncos do need some youth and upside for their defense. For that reason, they drafted big-name free safety Rahim Moore from UCLA, defensive back Quinton Carter from Oklahoma, and d-lineman Jeremy Beal. The other two picks were spent on tight ends; another b-baller, Julius Thomas, and injury-prone Virgil Green. If they really wanted a tight end, they could have picked an elite one earlier, but nonetheless, they ended up with a lot of promising players.


Detroit Lions

Detroit might have had one of the best drafts in the league, and they did so with only five picks. Miraculously, Nick Fairley fell to them at No. 13. I could just sense Adrian Peterson, Ryan Grant and James Starks, and Matt Forte, the running backs of the division, shuddering when Fairley went off the board. They had a great second round. They selected Titus Young, another great, underrated Boise State wide receiver famous for his incredible speed and catching ability. Then, they added a dynamic running back when they traded up to select running back Mikel Leshoure later in the round. All three of these rookies will make an impact right away, and I wouldn't be incredibly surprised if the young Detroit Lions were in the mix for a wild card spot this year. The other two picks, a linebacker in the fifth round and a tackle in the seventh, weren't quite as notable, but they still provide much-needed depth and youth.

(Later analysis: Leshoure didn't get a chance to shine because of a training camp injury. Fairley didn't do quite as much as I expected him to, but he could improve in his sophomore year.)

Green Bay Packers

Obviously, the Super Bowl champion Green Bay Packers didn't really have that many pressing needs, but they had to take advantage of their nine draft picks to stay ahead of the other teams in their division. First, the Packers added some protection for their "franchise quarterback" by drafting Derek Sherrod, an offensive lineman. Then, they nabbed Randall Cobb, former quarterback, wide receiver and return man at Kentucky who could be a secret weapon for Green Bay this year. Green Bay did need a running back, as was very apparent, but I don't think they made the best choice by drafting Alex Green, who came out of a pass-happy Hawaii offense. Next came Davon House, a corner who could replace Charles Woodson, and a tight end, D.J. Williams. With their remaining picks, they added essential depth to their defense and offensive line, and another tight end to help out Aaron Rodgers.

Houston Texans

NFL's draft analysts evidently didn't have much good to say about Houston's draft; "The Texans pick up a highly competitive quarterback in Yates," "Ozougwu is inconsistent and doesn't completely understand football," etc. And truth be told, those picks were not great. But the Texans, with Wade Phillips as their new coordinator, focused on defense this year. Houston took five consecutive defenders: J.J. Watt, Brooks Reed, Brandon Harris, Rashad Carmichael, Shiloh Keo. I do have to question the pick of Taylor "T.J." Yates, quarterback from North Carolina, in the fifth round. Enderle was on the board! Stanzi was on the board! McElroy was on the board! Pat Devlin wasn't even drafted, and he, according to NFL.com, had a higher grade than Yates! It wasn't the best pick. The Texans drafted an offensive lineman with their second offensive pick, and then made a d-lineman, Ozougwu, Mr. Irrelevant. At least the Texans were able to add many potential impact players to their defense.

(Later analysis: I feel dumb reading this. Enderle, Stanzi and McElroy did nothing. (Case in point: McElroy was best known for criticizing the Jets' locker room environment despite suffering a season-ending injury in the preseason.) Yates picked up the slack when Schaub and Leinart were hurt and led them to the playoffs.)

Indianapolis Colts

The Colts were somewhat inactive in this year's draft, but they addressed some needs, picking two offensive linemen right away to help protect Peyton Manning. The o-line has been terrible for the past few years. Then Indy added Drake Nevis to their defensive line. He could provide some energy off the bench or eventually replace the aging Dwight Freeney or Robert Mathis. The Colts next picked up a running back, Delone Carter. The Colts obviously need to improve in the backfield, but what Carter's role will be is not quite clear. Finally, Indianapolis drafted a defensive back, Chris Rucker. In case yet another Colts defensive back is injured, like they always seem to be, he will be there.

(Later analysis: Peyton didn't even play. None of these draft picks could stop the Colts from going 2-14 without him, or stop the Polians and Jim Caldwell from being axed.)

Jacksonville Jaguars

The Jaguars made the semi-obvious decision by drafting Blaine Gabbert from Missouri with the 10th overall pick. David Garrard is basically a lame-duck starter at this point now that the Jaguars organization has its new quarterback of the future. William Rackley, a Lehigh lineman, could well be blocking for Gabbert soon. In the fourth round, the Jaguars, who cut Mike Sims-Walker, drafted a new wideout, Cecil Shorts. Not only does he have a bizarre name, but he comes from the same Division III college as Pierre Garçon, Mount Union. He was quite a playmaker there, and could be dangerous for Jacksonville. The Jaguars then drafted two defensive backs to close out their short draft.

Kansas City Chiefs

The Chiefs passing offense needs help. It was fitting, then that Jonathan Baldwin was drafted in the first round. Baldwin is a 6'4" wideout from Pitt who is good enough to draw coverage away from the Chiefs' other good wide receiver, Dwayne Bowe. He provides a good target for Matt Cassel, or perhaps for Ricky Stanzi, a fifth-round developmental quarterback. They also picked a lineman to protect the quarterback in the second round. The Chiefs then focused on their defense, picking two linemen, two linebackers and Jalil Brown, a new name in the Chiefs' inconsistent, Brandon-filled defensive backfield (Brandon Carr, Brandon Flowers.) They wrapped up the draft with power fullback Shane Bannon.

Miami Dolphins

The Dolphins started out by drafting an offensive lineman, Mike Pouncey (older brother Maurkice has been good in Denver) midway through the first round, because the last thing they want to worry about at this point is Henne getting sacked. The Dolphins made their most important selection with the pick of Daniel Thomas, a running back from Kansas State, who is basically the only competent running back for the Dolphins now that Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams are gone. Edmond Gates and Charles Clay, a wideout and tight end, could add some energy to the passing game. The Dolphins also selected a defensive tackle and defensive back in the seventh round.

(Later analysis: Thomas was in fact not the only competent running back, as the Dolphins later acquired Reggie Bush, who did okay. My best memory of Bush from the season was sliding in for a touchdown in the Buffalo snow and getting called for excessive celebration/unsportsmanlike conduct.)

Minnesota Vikings

The big pick, of course, is eventual starting QB Christian Ponder, from Florida State, who never seemed that notable in college, and was kind of a reach at 12. The Vikings did trade for Donovan McNabb. Nonetheless, he is their franchise quarterback, and they have to build around him. He was given a reliable target with Notre Dame tight end Kyle Rudolph, one of the top prospects in that decision. The focus in this draft was the defense and offensive line, and one can understand these decisions because of the terrible Vikings defense last year, and the beating that Favre took that basically ended his career. Minnesota took a couple of small-school prospects, who were Brandon Fusco from Slippery Rock, and Stephen Burton from West Texas A&M. (who is from the same university as such quarterbacking luminaries as Dalton Bell and Keith Null. Yay!)

(Later analysis: McNabb was cut, of course, and by the way, the former quarterback coach at West Texas A&M: Ryan Leaf.)

New England Patriots

Another smart draft from New England, who picked two linemen, Nate Solder and Marcus Cannon to supplant their current aging linemen. Ras-I Dowling was picked to help the secondary, which is not necessarily a strong point for the Pats. New England also picked Shane Vereen and Stevan Ridley, which doesn't bode well for BenJarvus Green-Ellis in the New England backfield. Also, Tom Brady gets a legitimate backup (Brian Hoyer doesn't count) with the addition of Ryan Mallett from Arkansas. The Pats wrapped up the draft with the pick of a No. 3 tight end, a linebacker, and another D-back.

(Later analysis: I guess I was too hard on Hoyer, who is pretty competent. Surprisingly, late-round pick Ridley outshined oft-inactive Vereen.)

New Orleans Saints

The Saints are looking for a return to the glory of Super Bowl XLIV. Their main mission in the offseason is to help their running game and D-line. With two late first-round picks, they handled those two things. Cameron Jordan, a defensive end from Cal, is a great prospect to start on the defensive line soon enough, and the Saints made a very notable pick by taking a top running back and former Heisman winner, Mark Ingram, who may spell the end for Reggie Bush (update: traded to Miami), Pierre Thomas, and Chris Ivory. Undoubtedly, despite the selection of Ingram, the focus was on defense, as another defensive lineman, Greg Romeus from Pitt, was selected. Additionally, linebackers were picked in rounds 3 and 7, and the Saints also bolstered their secondary with the pick of Johnny Patrick FROM Louisville, as Chris Berman and Tom Jackson might say.

New York Giants

The Giants' draft was filled with selections of players with great upside. Cornerback Prince Amukamara will help the secondary immensely, as one of the top cornerback prospects, and defensive lineman Marvin Austin will help replace Barry Cofield and add depth to the line. Jerrel Jernigan is one of my favorite receiving prospects. He is quite versatile and quick, and could replace Domenik Hixon as returner. James Brewer could replace any of the New York linemen who would be lost as cap casualties.. New York also drafted two linebackers and a powerful safety, Tyler Sash from Iowa. Da'Rel Scott, a running back from Maryland, was picked with the 221st pick, although the Giants arguably should have taken a running back earlier.

New York Jets

Rex Ryan, mastermind defensive coordinator, picked, big, powerful D-linemen Muhammad Wilkerson and Kenrick Ellis to open the draft. Bilal Powell could be LaDainian's replacement, while Jeremy Kerley, and Scotty McKnight, who were fantastic at TCU and Colorado, were good picks at wide receiver. The Jets drafted a much-needed quarterback, Greg McElroy. Eric Ainge's retirement made this pick especially important.

Oakland Raiders

Ah, the Raiders. Their draft was not so great, but this could be a breakout year after last season's 8-8 run. O-lineman Stefen Wisniewski was the Raiders' first pick, in the second round, after they traded their first-rounder for Richard Seymour (sigh). Oakland also picked lineman Joseph Barksdale in the next round. Al Davis sure likes his speedsters…NFL.com used the words "speed" or "speedster" in their descriptions of DB Demarcus VanDyke, DB Chimdi Chekwa, RB Taiwan Jones, and WR Denarius Moore (sigh). Predictably, the final two picks in the draft were another wideout and a tight end.

(Later analysis: Denarius Moore seems like the main bright spot in this draft. He was one of the few playmakers as the Raiders managed to miss the playoffs again.)

Philadelphia Eagles

The Eagles addressed needs with their draft. Danny Watkins will protect notorious scrambler and criminal Michael Vick, while Jaiquawn Jarrett will replace Quentin Mikell at safety. Curtis Marsh, another defensive back, was also drafted. The Eagles then, perhaps figuring that he would be as successful as his brother (eerily similar to the pick of Eli Manning, right?), picked Casey Matthews, little brother of Clay. Kicker Alex Henery will replace not-so-clutch kicker David Akers, and Dion Lewis will once again back up LeSean McCoy, as he did previously in college. The Eagles then drafted two more O-linemen, two more linebackers (evidently those positions are quite important), and third fullback?! Stanley Havili.

Pittsburgh Steelers

Pittsburgh is basically set at the skill positions, so they focused on defense, drafting defensive linemen Cam Heyward in the first round and Chris Carter, who could also be a linebacker, in the fifth round, to perhaps supplant some members of their aging defense. Two defensive backs, Curtis Brown from Texas and Cortez Allen, from the FCS college The Citadel, will, again, provide some youth two the Steelers' defense. Additionally, the Steelers would like to have Ben Roethlisberger full-time this year, and in case any O-linemen go down, they added two more for depth. They also randomly decided to draft Baron Batch, a running back from a passing-centric offense at Texas Tech.

San Diego Chargers

The Chargers did not add many notable players, although they filled their needs quite well. The picks of players like Corey Liuget at defensive tackle, Marcus Gilchrist and Shareece Wright in the defensive backfield, Jonas Mouton at linebacker, and Jordan Todman all help to empower a Chargers team that needs a lot of improvement to be championship-caliber. In a division that is basically up for grabs, adding fresh faces is one of the best things for them to do. Hopefully for them, these players will make an impact.

San Francisco 49ers

While the Niners have a very strong linebacking corps, work must be done for the rest of their defense. And so, they spent their first rounder on Aldon Smith, a defensive end from Missouri, very early in the draft. This will help a defense that could perhaps be elite in the future. They already have a great linebacker in Patrick Willis, and perhaps some of their young players will be stars in time. They also picked up three defensive backs, Chris Culliver, Colin Jones, and Curtis Holcomb in the third, sixth, and seventh rounds. As far as offense was concerned, San Francisco picked up Colin Kaepernick early in the second round. He is Jim Harbaugh's quarterback (new regimes mean new quarterbacks; see walterfootball.com for evidence), although Alex Smith is improving more and more and hopefully will become a consistent starter while Kaepernick is developed. Ronald Johnson, a small wideout from USC, and Kendall Hunter, a power back from Oklahoma State, will provide depth at the skill positions. Two O-linemen were also taken, to back up and eventually replace San Fran's current starters.

(Later analysis: I was pretty much spot-on with these predictions --- Smith helped the defense, Hunter provided much-needed depth behind Frank Gore, and Kaepernick sat while Alex Smith improved.)

Seattle Seahawks

Seattle had a draft that would have been much better overall had they selected a quarterback. Pete Carroll seems to be content with letting Charlie Whitehurst and Tarvaris Jackson duke it out for the starting job. At least they drafted offensive linemen James Carpenter and John Moffitt with their first two picks, in an attempt to help their new QB throw the ball and open holes for Marshawn Lynch. The Seahawks then focused on their defense, after picking Georgia wideout Kris Durham. The D definitely needs some help, as evidenced by the Hawks' ugly playoff elimination by the Bears. Seattle was wise to address their defensive needs through the draft, and not count on free agency, which might not have happened anyway because of the lockout. Not picking a quarterback, though, was the opposite of wise.

St. Louis Rams

The Rams have a good chance of winning the NFC West this year, and their draft definitely helped their chances. They first picked D-lineman Robert Quinn, which was especially good considering that they will be facing the weak O-lines of their division rivals, as well as quarterbacks like John Skelton, Charlie Whitehurst and Alex Smith. The Rams also used their 5th round and three 7th round picks on defensive depth in the backfield and at linebacker. In between those picks, they drafted three good targets for developing Sam Bradford - a consistent tight end in Lance Kendricks, and two good wide receivers in Austin Pettis and Greg Salas, who could make a huge impact in a weak receiving corps.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

The Bucs found a starting wideout and running back in last year's rookie class, those being Mike Williams and LeGarrette Blount. The latter was actually undrafted, and originally picked up by Tennessee, but the Bucs had good luck last year. Perhaps this year, they will have good results as well. Tampa Bay picked up not one, but two of the top defensive linemen, in Adrian Clayborn and DaQuan Bowers. The Bucs must have been surprised when Bowers fell down to them at pick 51. Luke Stocker and Daniel Hardy are nice prospects at tight end, Ahmad Black and Anthony Gaitor will strengthen the defensive backfield, and Allen Bradford is a running back from USC who may replace Cadillac Williams as a primary backup to Blount.

Tennessee Titans

Jake Locker, Tennessee's new franchise quarterback, was much more highly touted last year. Unfortunately, he performed pretty badly in his senior season, but his upside was irresistible for the Titans, who need solutions quickly to survive against the developing teams of the AFC South. Locker will be tested by the defenses of Indy, Houston, and Jacksonville right away, if he can beat out last year's No. 3, Rusty Smith, for the starting job. Ugh. Most of the draft was focused on upgrading the Titans' defense, who have not done well in the past trying to handle Arian Foster, Andre Johnson, Peyton Manning, Reggie Wayne, Maurice Jones-Drew, and other AFC South stars. Hopefully, rookies Akeem Ayers, Jurrell Casey, Karl Klug, Zach Clayton, Tommie Campbell, and Colin McCarthy, in no order, will put pressure on the quarterback, stop the run, and add energy to the defense, but that may be too much to expect from a bunch of first-year players. Jamie Harper could play a lot at back if Chris Johnson is injured, and otherwise will provide a good change of pace. The other pick by the Titans was O-lineman Byron Stingily. Nice last name!

(Later analysis: Well, Tennessee brought in Matt Hasselbeck, and he started. Locker actually performed quite well in relief of Hasselbeck, including when the Titans suffered a humiliating loss to Indy.)

Washington Redskins

Washington, who are trapped in the bottom of the NFC East, and hoping that John Beck and Rex Grossman are good enough to start at QB, used their 12 draft picks well. They did not draft at least a developmental QB prospect, but they certainly took care of all other needs. Ryan Kerrigan and Jarvis Jenkins, the top two picks by Washington, may start for the Redskins' no-name defense. Two more D-linemen, Markus White and Chris Neild, were also taken, and Dejon Gomes, Brandyn Thompson fill a need at corner. Washington kind of went overboard by taking three wide receivers in Leonard Hankerson, Niles Paul and Aldrick Robinson, but there has to be a complete overhaul at the position, because Santana Moss is gone, Jabar Gaffney is 30, and the most experienced player past that at the position is Roydell Williams…The group includes the likes of Anthony Armstrong, Taurus Johnson, Maurice Price, Brandon Banks and Terrence Austin. See now why they needed those wideouts? Washington also addressed a need at running back by adding Roy Helu and Evan Royster, who will be added to a young, inexperienced Redskins backfield that is topped by Ryan Torain, and also includes Andre Brown, James Davis, Shaun Draughn, Chad Simpson, Shawnbrey McNeal, and Keiland Williams. See a pattern?

(Later analysis: That backfield was pretty ridiculous, and by the end of the season, most of them were gone, leaving Helu on top. He is the expected starter.)

Thus ends my draft grade list. Credit to NFL.com and some other websites and magazines for a lot of information, ideas, and inspiration.

Now for my picks for undrafted free agents who will make an impact:

Darvin Adams, WR, Auburn - Carolina Panthers

Adams was a favorite target of Cam Newton at Auburn, and now they are together again in Carolina, where depth at wideout is quite important. If Adams makes the roster, and injuries strike, Adams could have an unexpected impact for the team.

Pat Devlin, QB, Delaware - Miami Dolphins

Miami has little depth at quarterback, and Devlin, a transfer from Penn State to Delaware and excellent prospect, was somehow not drafted, and the Dolphins may need him if Chad Henne is injured or plays badly.

Other interesting undrafted free agents:

Kris O'Dowd, C, USC - Arizona Cardinals
Noel Devine, RB, West Virginia - Philadelphia Eagles? Atlanta Falcons? Conflicting sources - Successor to Steve Slaton at WVU, is a great runner.
Josh Nesbitt, QB, Georgia Tech - Buffalo Bills - Played in an option offense, could be good in Wildcat.
Zach Pianalto, TE, North Carolina - Buffalo Bills
Mario Fannin, RB, Auburn - Denver Broncos
Brandon Saine, RB, Ohio State - Green Bay Packers
Jeff Maehl, WR, Oregon - Houston Texans - Was incredible at Oregon, apparently no one liked him enough to draft him.
Marc Schiechl, DL, Colorado School of Mines - Jacksonville Jaguars - What is the Colorado School of Mines!?
Nic Grigsby, RB, Arizona - Miami Dolphins
Mark Herzlich, LB, Boston College - New York Giants - Battled with cancer, great story.
Eddie McGee, WR, Illinois - Oakland Raiders - Of course Al Davis picks up the speedy former quarterback.
Jerrod Johnson, QB, Texas A&M - Philadelphia Eagles
Scott Tolzien, QB, Wisconsin - San Diego Chargers - San Diego needs a developmental backup to replace Billy Volek.
Jeremiah Masoli, QB, Oregon, Mississippi - San Francisco 49ers - Masoli was good at Oregon, but at Mississippi, he was not good at all. He lost to Jacksonville State.
Shaun Draughn, RB, North Carolina - Washington Redskins - Great, another running back!

Patrick Scales, Danny Aiken, Corey Adams, Ryan Coulson, Derek Chard, Aaron Feld, Christian Yount, John Stokes, Harry Flaherty, Tom McCarthy, Andrew Schulz, Various colleges, Various teams -
No one drafted a long snapper this year, or last year, and not many people even seem to acknowledge LS as a real position.
Interesting tidbits:

Ryan Coulson is part defensive end? What?
Tampa Bay actually signed two long snappers! Wow! So did Atlanta, their division rivals.
The highest-drafted long snapper of all time is Ryan Pontbriand, drafted by Cleveland, unless you count Zak DeOssie, a Giants snapper who was drafted as a linebacker, and Todd Thomas, who was drafted as a tackle.

This concludes my pre-2012 NFL Draft post. I know it's outdated, but maybe looking at last year's draft will help us predict this year's.

Super Bowl Live Blog!

Random in-game thoughts from our resident 12-year-old football analyst:

Saints win the the toss. Now they have to punt.

It's hard to root against Peyton Manning, but it's also hard to root against the Saints. So I'm not sure.

It appears Dwight Freeney is playing, which is good, because now people won't talk about it anymore.

Dallas Clark makes a 15-yard catch for an Indy first down.

So the Colts got a field goal, and the Saints defense looked very bad. They have a lot of work to do if they want to stop the Colts' offense.

Saints fumble on the kickoff, but recover, and since there's a commercial break I think that's the end of this update.

The Saints had to punt, and their defense is once again being completely and totally inept, this time in stopping the running game. Also, I just did some drumming. I'm hoping that the Colts will be held to a field goal so that New Orleans has a chance to win the game.

Well, Pierre Garçon catches a touchdown pass, and I'm worried the Saints are going to be too demoralized to win.

Confirming my suspicions that the Saints would have trouble winning: apparently the largest comeback in Super Bowl history is ten points.

As the Saints get a field goal, I note that the motivation for Dwight Freeney's probably came from what Gregg Williams said about giving Peyton Manning some "remember me" hits. Freeney just applied it to Drew Brees.

It looks like the Saints are going to get points on this drive, which is good for their sake. That was a great pass downfield by Drew Brees... but the reverse afterward was a huge loss, so they are going to have to get their momentum back if they want a touchdown.

And so the Saints get a deep pass inside the five yard line. But a pass for no gain on first and goal and a false start call kill their momentum.

And since the Saints have been stopped on fourth down, they give Peyton Manning the ball with two minutes left, which is never a good idea, as has been evidenced by other drives earlier in the playoffs.

It looks like the Saints are going to narrow their deficit to four, which will help their morale going into the half.

Halftime. The Colts were superior at the beginning; New Orleans started to overtake them, but that fourth and goal derailed a pretty good drive.

SECOND HALF

[The onside kick] was a nice move, and the Indianapolis kickoff team just didn't know what they were doing. So the Saints have good field position.

Pierre Thomas continues to have a big impact on the game, and New Orleans scores. I actually saw a thing on ESPN this morning comparing who would have the better game, Pierre Thomas or Pierre Garçon, and so far they've both scored touchdowns, and they've been among the top performers for their respective teams.

I missed the last Indianapolis touchdown, but it'll definitely help their cause to finally have an offensive explosion.

The Saints can't let the Colts keep the ball for much longer. If they score a touchdown, that makes the situation much more difficult. If they get a field goal, that's fine, but still not good.

Indianapolis went for it on fourth down and succeeded, but Matt Stover missed the field goal, so the Saints get the ball with lots of time.

The Saints got a great touchdown drive, but they just barely missed the two-point conversion, which is very advantageous for the Colts.

Seeing the replay, it really looks like it's in the end zone. AND IT'S REVERSED!

I had no idea that interception was coming, but it looks like that's the end of the game for the Colts.

I think the MVP of the Super Bowl is going to be Drew Brees. He should complete one more pass so he can get the record.

The Colts have a very slim chance, but for some reason I doubt they're going to be able to recover the onside kick -- if they score a touchdown, that is.

And Manning throws an incompletion on fourth down.

It's great that the Saints finally got a Super Bowl win, although you have to feel bad for Peyton.

I voted for Drew Brees to be the MVP.

* * *

TREMENDOUS GAME!

Folks, this concludes our final football blog of the season -- and what a great season it was. We may check in on the NFL draft in April. But until then, for the last time in the 2009 season, here comes the part where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

This is going to be a great offseason. There are a lot of big-name free agents and rookies.

NFL Interview - It's a Ridiculous Week for the Pro Bowl Edition

Folks, we took a few weeks off there, but really not much has changed. We thought it was going to be a Colts-Saints Super Bowl, and so it is. The Jets' brief Cinderella run? The "can the Cards do it again" talk? The flurry of "Favrvrvrvre returns to the Big Game" hype? All mere digressions on the way to the inevitable.

Which brings me to the first question for our very-soon-to-be-12-year-old football analyst.

How much more interesting would this Super Bowl be if it were, as it looked to be several weeks back, a battle of undefeateds?

Much more interesting. Nonetheless, the matchup is physically the same as it was when both teams were undefeated.

Do you think the Colts erred by resting their starters in the fateful Jets game?

Yeah. Then the Jets would never have gotten into the playoffs at all, and the Texans would have been creamed by the Bengals.

The Jets, the Cowboys, the Vikings... all heavily hyped teams who proved to be flashes in the pan. Which of these teams will be a genuine threat next season?

The Jets have a lot of potential. They and Dallas are both teams on the rise. As for Minnesota, they will, but only if Brett Favre is the starter at quarterback.

Could any team that missed the playoffs have given the Colts or Saints a run for their money? If so, who?

Hmm...not many of them. Perhaps the Steelers.

Which players and coaches impressed you the most during the playoffs?

Darrelle Revis, definitely. He made an amazing pick against San Diego. And another Jet, Rex Ryan. Gotta love that personality. As for the NFC, Reggie Bush proved that he isn't a bust.

Which players were the most shocking tank jobs? Which coaches the biggest dopes?

Chad Ochocinco did absolutely nothing for Cincinnati. Honestly, there were many more good performances than bad ones.

Once again, Favrvrvrvre's "career" "ends" with a devastating interception in a playoff game. Do you think that vacillating, jeans-pimpin' yahoo is finally gone for good?

With Favre, there's no way to know.

If so, what of the Minnesota quarterback situation? Will it be Tarvaris (shudder)?

Him or Rosenfels (double shudder).

Which other teams need to think about new QBs next season?

Rams, Seahawks and perhaps the Bills, although I'm sure many other teams will take quarterbacks in the first few rounds.

Any predictions for the early rounds of the NFL draft?

Well, the first three picks will involve some combination of Ndamukong Suh, Jimmy Clausen, Gerald McCoy, Sam Bradford, Russell Okung and Eric Berry. It's kind of up in the air.

I wanna get your take on Tim Tebow Tim Tebow. Who's gonna get him, and will they let him play quarterback?

If the Jaguars or Redskins get him, he will play quarterback. Others will give him a chance. The rest will make him an H-back.

What do you think of your Raiders' decision to retain Tom Cable as coach?

Well, although he may be a criminal, and the fact that the Raiders could definitely do better, he might be able to help them turn things around.

How do you feel about the shift of the Pro Bowl to the week before the Super Bowl (and your birthday)?

Well, now I can't watch it.

...

No one else seems to like it either, and in 2011 and 2012, it's headed back to Honolulu.

Did you vote for the Pro Bowl? Care to share any of your selections?

A while ago. I can't remember much, but I can tell you that I didn't even vote for every position. Anyway, my picks were fairly normal. I voted for Jairus Byrd, one of my new favorite players. (He was a second-round draft choice and led the AFC in interceptions. He was tied with three others for the league lead.) Unfortunately, he had to drop out due to injury.

Okay, here it comes. Predict the final score of the Super Bowl.

Colts 31, Saints 28. Peyton Manning throws a touchdown pass to Pierre Garcon with thirty seconds left; Drew Brees' pass is batted down by Jacob Lacey on fourth down.

We'll do a final post-S.B. wrap-up blog in two weeks. Until then, here comes the part where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

Well, actually, I may write on Monday about the Senior Bowl and the Pro Bowl.

But anyway...

Almost every quarterback who was initially invited to the Pro Bowl isn't playing.

NFL Week 15 Interview - Fantasy Triumph Edition

Well! Lots to talk about in this, your Merry Pre-Christmas edition of the Internet's finest NFL blog. Our 11-year-old sports analyst is standing by to comment on all the week's action.

Q. We have to start with your triumph in Yahoo Fantasy league football. After opening the season 3-5, your team Hypnotic won six of their last seven games to storm into the playoffs and now the league championship. How do you feel?

Excited, but worried about the upcoming championship.

Q. What was the greatest factor in your team's success?

Tom Brady's failure when it mattered most. 7.16 points?

Q. Who are the bedrock players that, week in and week out, made the greatest contribution?

In order:

1. Peyton Manning
2. Brandon Marshall
3. Miles Austin

Q. Who were your best late-season pickups?

Josh Cribbs, Jamaal Charles and Garrett Hartley.

Q. You have an uncanny ability to make last-minute adjustments that pay big dividends. For example, picking up Brandon Marshall shortly before his record-setting 21-catch game last week, or adding Josh Cribbs ten minutes before game time on a day when he returned two kickoffs for touchdowns. Are you psychic? Where does this skill come from?

Well, I actually picked up Marshall before Week 1. But this skill comes mostly from reading the Add/Drop section of WalterFootball.com. I'm just pretty lucky.

Q. What's the worst decision you made along the way?

When I first dropped Miles Austin.

Q. What have you learned from this year that will enable you to be even more dominant next year?

Get a better draft, and those late-season pickups may not be necessary.

Q. Your team climbed up from the cellar and is now challenging Wrecking Crew, the team with the best record through the regular season, for the league crown. How do you like your chances to Win It All?

Well, I'm honestly a little pessimistic. If Adrian Peterson is shut down by Chicago, I think I'll win.

Q. Okay, on to the actual NFL. You and I have talked a lot about the logjam of 7-7 AFC teams currently angling for a playoff spot. Who's most likely to break through?

Pittsburgh, but I doubt they will anyway.

Q. The Saints finally dropped a game, putting an end to their dream of an undefeated season. Do you think this harms or improves their chances of winning the Super Bowl?

I don't think it'll affect them, other than demoralizing them a little. They're still the same team.

Q. What about the Colts? Do you see them resting the starters down the stretch, risking a loss that would blemish that perfect record?

Unfortunately for Hypnotic, I think they probably will.

Q. This past week Michael Irvin created quite a stir by claiming that he would trade all his Super Bowl rings for an undefeated season. What are your thoughts on this comment?

Ridiculous. Are you serious? Why in the world would you do that?

Q. Spotlight on the Seattle Seahogs. What a pathetic mess of a team. I was actually pleased to see them pass on rehiring Mike Holmgren; now I'd like to see them show Jim Moron the door as well. What do you think this team needs to do to once again become competitive?

Get a real running back, a quarterback of the future, and some real wide receivers. Nate Burleson? T.J. Houshmandzadeh? Deion Branch? Come on.

Q. A wild and woolly game gave the Raiders a victory over the slumping Broncos. Did JaMarcus Russell salvage his career with that final drive, or is his still this year's Ryan Leaf?

Well, he certainly helped his cause, but he still needs to be like that for a whole season to avoid the "bust" tag.

Q. Speaking of slumps, the Vikings are now looking extremely beatable. Is Favrvrvrvre tiring as the season wears on, or are their other factors?

It's the whole team. They shouldn't even have to rely on Favre. Favre shouldn't even be on the team in the first place.

Q. What'd you think of Favrvrvrvrvrvrvrvre overruling Brad Childress to stay in the game? Does this player outrank his own coach?

No, apparently it was just about control over the offensive playcalls. Still, I can't imagine Matt Stafford arguing about that sort of thing.

Q. We rarely discuss things like this, but what are your thoughts on the tragic death of the Bengals' Chris Henry?

It's pretty sad. He was just starting to peak in the NFL, too. And he was learning from his mistakes.

Q. Quick Cleveland Browns question: Has Brady Quinn earned a permanent spot as their starter? He seems to perform best in impressive losses.

He didn't lose. Anyway, he seems to have done so, but for now, he's on IR.

Q. How about Alex Smith of the Niners? Does he keep his job?

He's good, and I think he will, but let's see who starts next season.

Q. Despite their heartbreaking last-second loss to the Snorthlisbergers, I still like the Packers to go far in the playoffs. You?

Yeah, me too. Their offense is really good.

Q. I think the Chargers are sort of sneaking up on people because their season started so poorly. Is this team a Super Bowl threat?

I think that they couldn't make it past the Colts if they had to, so no.

Q. Now for a few random questions. Your thoughts on Monday Night announcer Jon Gruden?

He's going left to right on my radio, and he's the heart and soul of this football team.

Q. I think you know that my favorite sports quotes include "I couldn't care less about the team struggling" (J. Namath) and "Do you know where Charlotte, North Carolina is now, baby?" (L. Lathon). What are yours?

Well, those are good, but I like "Playoffs??" (Mora Sr.) and "We talking bout practice!" (Iverson).

Q. Now comes the part where Hen -- best of luck next week, buddy! -- gets to type whatever he wants.

Weirdly enough, Crazy-Jay's Steelers defense got -3 points.

NFL Week 14 Interview - Fantasy Playoff Edition

We have just turned off the Cardinals-Niners contest, which has to be the most excruciatingly slow football game in recent memory. Seriously, these teams took over an hour just to play the first quarter. I'm sure even if it takes 'til our eleven-year-old football analyst's bedtime to finish this post, the teams will still be slogging their way through yet another booth review of an obvious Larry Fitzgerald reception.

Q. Well! Lots of extracurricular stuff to start with. Talk about how your fantasy team, Hypnotic, managed to roar into the playoffs with an absolutely spectacular showing this week.

Yep. About seventy points from Marshall, Manning and the Titans combined.

Q. This past weekend you visited the Fox Sports complex in Century City and got a glimpse behind the scenes at Fox NFL Sunday. Share some of your impressions of the day.

Well, it seemed like everyone else was a regular, and we were new. It was nice to learn how pregame shows are filmed.

Q. What did you think of Michael Strahan?

He was rather nice, and the only one of the pregame show people who felt like interacting with us.

Q. Would you like a 12-monitor setup with infrared headsets like they had in the Avocado Room?

I have to admit, flipping through audio inputs on a headset was cool.

Q. Let's take stock of the season thus far. Improbably, there are still two undefeated teams, the Colts and the Saints. Who's stronger?

The Saints. They had to make fewer comebacks earlier in the season, and they have better running backs.

Q. Which is more likely to go undefeated throughout the regular season?

Probably the Saints. December-Cowboys, Bucs and Panthers as opponents. The Colts have the Jags, Counterfeit Bills and the J-E-T-S.

Q. Why? Are they simply going to ease up down the stretch, resting the starters, or are they an unstoppable force?

Even if the Saints rest their starters, they have easier matchups. I think the Colts could probably go undefeated as well, but maybe not if Curtis Painter starts at QB. For Hypnotic's sake, let's hope he doesn't.

Q. Talk about how the Patriots behave in times of adversity. (Bad Citizen Randy Moss is a quitter, hint hint.)

They may have won, and that's mainly what matters, but they sure played a bad game.

Q. Which team with an unimpressive record is most likely to dust themselves off and make a startling playoff run?

None of them. Seriously. If I had to choose a 7-6 team, I would say Baltimore because their schedule is easiest. They just have to beat the Hypocycloids (Steelers) on the twenty-seventh.

Q. As we go team by team, I'd like to start with the Falcons, who looked mighty impressive in a near-upset of the Saints. Has Chris Redman proven himself a viable starter?

Yeah, but as long as Matt Ryan is in Fatlanta, he'll be a backup. Maybe he'll start in St. Louis next year if they draft Suh.

Q. Philly has a lot of offensive firepower, even if Michael Pick is little more than a footnote. Are the Egos one of those Teams to Watch Out For?

I suppose, although it might be difficult to succeed in the playoffs. I predict a loss in the divisional round.

Q. Dallas is collapsing right on schedule. What is the deal with this team and December?

I really don't know. Overconfidence? Wade Phillips said he had a team of winners a week ago. For his sake, hopefully he'll still be in charge of his team of losers next year.

Q. Tennessee beat up on those wascally Wams, but even a 47-7 victory didn't tell me much about this schizophrenic franchise. What's your tite on the Takans?

Well, if they had overcome the Colts, they could be in the playoff race. There's always next year. Kerry Collins could be a Ram too...Adam Schefter thinks Vick could be the starter next year.

Q. Let's talk for a moment about pouty, petulant Jay and His Cutlery. I haven't enjoyed watching a quarterback lose this much since John Elway. What happened to this guy? Was he overrated in Denver, or is he underrated in Chicago?

Neither. He was pretty good in Denver, now he's not great in Chicago.

Q. I'd be surprised if more than five people were interested in the outcome of Buffalo/Kansas City. Do you think the Bills will nab the Ratcoach, or will Shanahan scamper off to nibble at some other team's cheese plate?

Well, the Cowboys' ricotta could be more appetizing, or even the Redskins' if either of those coaches were fired.

Q. I was deeply disappointed to see the Farvrvrve machine roll over the Bengals, 'cause Cincinnati is one of those teams I'd like to see go the distance. Does this loss put a dent in their postseason aspirations?

Only if other AFC teams are smart enough to look at that game tape.

Q. Who is the world is going to start at QB for the Raiders with Bruce Graduate-of-Kowski injured? Dare they allow JaMarcus Fumble to take the field?

They don't have a choice.

Q. What was your take on the Heisman Trophy? Did Ingram deserve it, or would you have gone with a boy named Suh?

I honestly hoped Suh would win. I like that guy.

Q. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this season of Friday Night Lights.

Well, it's okay. Some of the storylines are mind-numbingly boring. I could use more football.

Q. Speed game! Write the first phrase that comes to mind when I mention the following miserable franchises:

Bills ....................Former coach Jauron
Steelers .................Roethlisberger
Browns ...................Flash formation
Jaguars ..................Garrard
Texans ...................2002
Redskins .................Campbell's Soup
Lions ....................Browns-Lions
Panthers ................."Daylight coming, you gotta Delhomme"
Bucs .....................Corn on the cob
Seahawks .................Hassle them back

Q. Now comes the point where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

Even though I predicted that the Ravens would get the sixth seed, I still want them to lose to the Raiders in Week 17.

NFL Week 12 Interview - Fantasy Nailbiter Edition

As we type these words, Henry's team Hypnotic is clinging to a ten-point lead over Crazy-Jay in the fourth quarter of the Monday night game -- but CJ has both Tom Brady and Wes Welker, while Hypnotic is only carrying Saints kicker John Carney. Let's hope for a second half featuring lots of long, grueling Saints drives capped by field goals....

Well, we skipped a week again, but all that does is give us more to discuss with our resident 11-year-old football analyst. Let's get to it!

Q. Couple quick questions about college football as the season draws to a close. What was your favorite game from Rivalry Weekend and why?

Cal-Stanford, from last week, because Cal won in a dramatic finish.

Q. I'd like to get your thoughts on the grisly end of the USC-UCLA contest. Do you think Pete Carroll was a bad sport to call that play-action bomb? Was Rick Neuheisel for calling a pointless time-out?

Pete Carroll was a horrible sport. That's like the definition of bad sportsmanship. As for Neuheisel, maybe it was pointless, but it wasn't bad sportmanship either.

Q. This gives us a perfect segue to the thrilling Titans-Cardinals game, which rematched former Rose Bowl foes Vince Young and Matt Leinart. How 'bout that 99-yard drive Young engineered to win the game? Has this guy finally come of age?

It appears that he has. He no longer has just raw talent, he has full-fledged talent.

Q. What about Leinart? Does he have a future as a starter after yet another mediocre performance?

Only if he's given time to develop. Remember, that was VY's fifth game. Leinart didn't know he was starting until midday, but he still isn't doing very well despite that.

Q. Another wild finish was Atlanta's triumph (in throwback gear no less) over the hapless How Much Does That Corn Cost Buck-an-Ears. Your thoughts on reliever Chris Redman?

Well, he's a great backup with starting experience. The question is, can he beat the Eagles defense?

Q. Speaking of relievers, I thought Dennis Dixon looked impressive in a losing effort for the Steelers. With Big Ben's brain rattling around inside his cranium, could Dixon be Pittsburgh's quarterback of the future?

Chances are, he'll end up as the backup quarterback of the future. Ben hasn't actually been around for too many years. Maybe in a couple years, he'll get traded to a team that will give him a chance to start.

Q. Matthew Stafford slumped a bit after a spectacular Week 9 performance. How long will it be before the Lions are truly contenders?

A few more years. Maybe it would help to sign some big-name free agents.

Q. We talked about this on our walk yesterday: What's the next move in the Raiders' rebuilding operation? Head coach? Quarterback? Will JaMarcus Russell be part of the equation?

Both. Knowing Al Davis, he'll probably get Bobby Petrino and Colt McCoy, or someone like them.

Q. The Denver Bwoncos look to be on the rebound, while the Giants are continuing their slide. Which one of these teams is most likely to make the playoffs, and why?

Denver, and they might win their division. The Giants have a very difficult schedule coming up, although they might make the playoffs anyway.

Q. Buffalo gave Perry "Rocket" Fewell his first victory, but we've been hearing rumblings (or more accurately rodent-like scrabblings) of a Return of the Ratcoach in Buffalo. Is Shanahan a good fit for this franchise?

Well, Shanahan's teams always have an identity, usually of carrying many different running backs that all contribute, and the Bills only somewhat fit in that regard. In fact, they only somewhat fit in general. I bet he'll do well if he's hired, though.

Q. Speaking of franchises, they're not calling Mark "the Sanchise" much in NYC anymore. What happened after to the ace we saw in the first few weeks of the season?

I'm not positive. Perhaps he cracked under the pressure, or simply started facing better defenses and more difficult circumstances.

Q. Philly stole one from Washington in a game which featured a few pointless Michael Vick appearances. What is this guy doing with the Eagles, anyway?

Nothing. That's the only way it can be described.

Q. I did not even watch Seattle/St. Louis, that's how disenchanted I am with this team. Where should the Seahogs' reboot begin? You mentioned a good backup QB....

Yeah, but Mike Teel could be too low of a draft pick to ever make a difference in the NFL. As I said on our walk, they could use a real running back, or the second running back of a running back-by-committee that would include Justin Forsett.

Q. Looks like Jake Delhomme will be mercifully benched by the Panthers because of an alleged finger fracture. Yeah, the exact part of the finger that causes tons of interceptions. Do you think untested backup Matt Moore can save the Cats' season?

Well, he's hardly untested. He has playing experience. Nevertheless, he's simply a mediocre quarterback, and the Cats need to win five straight to even have a chance at the playoffs, including a game against New Orleans.

Q. Cincy continues to roll, this time behind a 100-yard rushing performance by bad citizen Larry Johnson. Is it wrong that this creep is effectively being rewarded for bad behavior?

Well, he's doing a good job from someone who has gone from starter to fourth running back. But remember that he had served his suspension. The Chiefs just decided to move on.

Q. Indy pulled out a victory against Houston. Do you think this team can go undefeated?

They can, but they can't come back from every big deficit. If this keeps happening, they'll lose.

Q. Our last question is on Tim Tebow Tim Tebow. Is he as good as they say? Will he pick the top pick in next year's draft? And if so, where do you think he will end up?

No, and he'll be in either Jacksonville or Washington. That is my bold prediction.

Q. Now comes the part where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

It's really sad that I went from starting Ronnie Brown and Brian Westbrook in fantasy football to Bernard Scott and Justin Forsett.

NFL Week 10 Interview - Midseason Edition

Yes, folks, we skipped another week; hence the general sense of ennui you feel about your life and the world around you. But do not despair, gentle reader, for we are BACK at the season's midpoint for a thoughtful assessment of all the NFL action. Our resident 11-year-old football analyst is mere feet away, playing NCAA 10 on our new HDTV, as I compose these questions....

Q. Gotta start with the play that dominated sports talk radio for the entire day, and will probably continue doing so for the remainder of the week. What did you think of Bill Belichick's go-for-it call on fourth and 2? Smart or stupid? Did it ultimately cost the Patriots the game?

Well, I didn't see it occur. But I can tell you that when you're Bill Belichick, you expect your team to convert. It's still inexcusable to go for it, especially on your own 28. And it did cost them the game.

Q. Lost in all of this Monday morning quarterbacking is the fact that after the failed attempt the New England defense simply folded, allowing the Colts to move thirty yards in a matter of seconds for the go-ahead touchdown. Were they just demoralized by their coach's apparent lack of faith in them, or what?

That, but more importantly, they had given up a huge lead.

Q. Another big story is the emergence of the Bengals as a genuine division leader with their impressive defeat of the Steelers. Is this team good enough to go the distance?

Not the Super Bowl distance, but certainly the divisional round distance. I don't think they could beat the Colts right now.

Q. What did you think of their signing of bad citizen Larry Johnson?

Well, I mean, Marvin Lewis claims it has nothing to do with the Cedric Benson injury, but can the Bengals really rely on a rookie from Abilene Christian?

Q. Kyle Snorton went down with an injury in the Broncos' unexpected loss to the Redskins. Does this sound the death knell for a Denver season which started so promisingly?

I heard he would play next week, but I still think they're on a steep decline.

Q. Speaking of former Broncos, can we talk about the mess in Chicago? Jay and His Cutlery is a pouty, pick-throwing disaster. What's going on there?

I really don't know. Maybe they should go to their running game. After all, they have Matt Forte.

Q. I cannot explain either the Falcons or the Seahawks week to week. It seems impossible to tell if either of these teams is any good. Which do you think has a better chance to make a postseason run?

The Falcons. Although the Seahawks started out well, I simply cannot see why they are doing so badly.

Q. Has Matt Hasselbeck lost it? What needs to be done in Seattle to make this team competitive?

He's not a bad quarterback. However, Seattle needs a decent running game. Justin Forsett is improving, though. He just got his first 100-yard game.

Q. Meanwhile, the Titans and Panthers seem to be rebounding from bad starts. Can they put together solid seasons in the time remaining?

Well, the Titans already have six losses in a tough wild card race. They're also in a difficult division. It doesn't look good. As for Carolina, their situation is just as bad. Their main competition is Atlanta, San Francisco, Philadelphia, New York, Green Bay and Chicago. Sounds hard.

Q. What's with Vince Young finally getting it together? What's changed in Tennessee to enable him to perform better?

He is compelled to prove himself. The starting job was simply given to him before.

Q. Brett Favrvrvrvre is on fire right now, with his aging arm showing remarkable range and accuracy. Do you think he'd be competing with this kind of fire if he were still in Green Bay?

Why wouldn't he be? Although his supporting cast is better in Minnesota, that wouldn't change his level of play. He does have more motivation now that he's playing for a division rival, though.

Q. Of the current glut of bad teams -- let's say KC, Oakland, Cleveland, Detroit, St. Louis and Tampa Bay -- which has the best chance to make a surprising late season run and why?

None of those five will make the playoffs. Tampa Bay and St. Louis are the best of them, though.

Q. Totally out of the news: Terrell Owens. Is this gentleman's career effectively over?

I don't think so, but he needs to contribute more if he wants to keep his career going.

Q. Many are continuing to predict a Colts-Saints Super Bowl at this point. What do you think?

I'd say that the Saints will definitely be there, but that Indianapolis could slip up.

Q. How's fantasy football treating you? I know you managed to eke out a narrow victory this week. Do you think your Hypnotic squad can make the playoffs?

No. But there's a small chance.

Q. Finally, we have the part where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

In my fantasy football league, you always start with 10 points because the defense gets 10 for the defense's opponent being shut out. (0-0, anyone?)

NFL Week 8 Interview - "Pump It, Louder!" Edition

Sometimes we skip a week, sports fans, just to make you appreciate us. Last week we were still recovering from Sunday night's U2 + Black Eyed Peas show at the Rose Bowl, so we never got around to posting an update. But now we are back with all the trenchant analysis you've come to expect from the Internet's finest sports blog.

Q. I want to open with a non-sports question: What'd you think of the U2 concert?

Although it was a little disappointing, it was still a great spectacle.

Q. How was it seeing an arena show with an audience of nearly 100,000 people?

Amazing. I don't think I've even encountered 100,000 people in my entire life.

Q. Which band impressed you the most?

The Black Eyed Peas put on a much more exciting show. They were somewhat more impressive.

Q. Finally, talk about your Halloween costume and the genesis thereof.

I dressed up as "Punk Rock Spock". Basically, I bought a Spock costume and pointed ears. Then I put a safety pin through one ear, attached pins saying "No Future" to the shirt and wore some studded wristbands.

Q. Okay, on to football. Apparently the bookmakers are getting killed this season because the separation between the really good teams and the really bad teams is more pronounced than it's been in years. Does it seem that way to you?

Yes, but there aren't too many outstanding teams. It seems like there are bad teams, okay teams and pretty good teams.

Q. Name four elite teams and your assessment of their playoff chances.

Indianapolis, New Orleans, New York (the Giants) and New England. Indianapolis is potentially the best team in the AFC, and I think they will go far. With the Giants' loss, New Orleans is the undisputed best team in the NFC. Let's see how they do against Atlanta. The Giants lost today and last week, but are still a good team. I predict they will lose in the divisional round after beating some weaker wild card. And finally, the Patriots are better than they appear.

Q. Another reason this is an unusual year is the dearth of rookie standouts, with hyped newcomers like Mark Sanchez fading down the stretch. Can you pick out any rookies who you feel are making a significant impact right now?

Although Mark Sanchez is fading, he is really helping his team. They wouldn't be as far as they are with Kellen Clemens at quarterback.

Q. The Titans finally picked up their first win today with Vince Young under center. Meaningful?

Eh, it was against Jacksonville. Let's see him against the Colts.

Q. Conversely, the Panthers surprised the Cardinals with the help of a strong performance from Jake Delhomme. Meaningless?

No. Jake Delhomme has realized that unless he does well, he'll be in St. Louis or somewhere next season.

Q. Quick digression to college ball. A lot of people find the college game to be much more entertaining than the pro game. Do you agree?

I'd say that college overtime, and the freedom to attempt more trick plays in college, make it a little more "fun".

Q. We have a new HDTV. Do you enjoy games more in HD, or does it not make that much of a difference to you?

It looks better, and I appreciate that, but it doesn't make me enjoy it more.

Q. What about video games like NCAA 10? Do they look better in HD?

YES!

Q. What's the state of the Wildcat formation at this point? Is it still an effective gimmick, or has it become so quotidian that it's no more special than, say, the shotgun spread?

I like the Wildcat, and it will be here to stay for at least a little while, but unlike the shotgun spread, it's not its own offense.

Q. Which team runs the Wildcat the best?

Miami came up with the original idea, and so has many more wrinkles to offer. They run it best.

Q. What's your favorite throwback uniform?

Either the Bills', or the yellow-helmet Steelers'.

Q. The yearly London games bespeak the NFL's determination to make American football a global sport. Would you favor adding a non-US team to the NFL? If so, which city should get the first foreign franchise?

I understand that it's important for American football to become an international sport, but for whatever reason, the idea of a team from London doesn't intrigue me. I wouldn't be incredibly opposed, though, so if there was a foreign franchise, it should probably be from London. Toronto is a good choice, but it has a CFL team.

Q. Should Los Angeles get a franchise? Which is more likely -- that it's an expansion team, or a team which relocates from somewhere else?

Expansion team. Only the Jaguars and Bills should really consider relocation.

Q. Since we're posting a day early, I challenge you to predict the EXACT FINAL SCORE of the Monday night Falcons-Saints game. Bettors, take note!

31-23 Saints. Sorry.

Q. And now comes the part where Henry gets to type whatever he wants.

With Vince Young now a starter, I wonder what the future holds for Matt Leinart.

NFL Week 6 Interview - Multigenerational Edition

Welcome back to the Internet's favorite football blog. Our special guest star this week is the 11-year-old pundit's grandfather Lenny, who will intermittently chime in with the pointed questions and fabulous fabrications for which he is so justly renowned.

Q. from Lenny: Here's my question. In England, one of their favorite sports is called football. In the U.S., a favorite sport... also called football. What is the difference between these two footballs?

One is round, and one is a strange diamond shape.

Q. from Jeff: What exactly does it prove when a team racks up 35 points in one quarter? Was it bad sportsmanship? Do you think the Patriots should have let up on the hapless Titans?

They couldn't help themselves -- it was too hard to let up against the Titans, who are suddenly looking terrible.

Q. from Lenny: Who invented football in the United States?

I don't know, actually.

Lenny says: Amos Alonzo Stagg.

Q. from Jeff: Obviously my dad's questions are going to be decidedly different from my own. Here's my next one: How overwhelmingly dominant are the New Orleans Saints? Is it offense or defense which is the key to their undefeated season so far?

Offense, definitely. 27 points isn't that great -- it's just scoring 48 points that makes you win.

Q. from Lenny: If Rush Limbaugh were allowed to buy the St. Louis Rams, in your opinion, would this be good, bad, or indifferent for the team?

It would be bad for their image, and I don't understand how it would help the team itself, because he would be a minority owner in the group.

Lenny: That's a good answer.

Q. from Jeff: Who's the NFL MVP at this point? I know I ask this every couple of weeks, but the answer changes as the season wears on.

As of now, it seems like Drew Brees.

Lenny: You think?

Henry: No one's doing better.

Q. from Lenny: What's your opinion of the Atlanta Falcons?

They're okay, but they could be doing a lot better. They're somewhat of a disappointment.

Q. from Jeff: Vultures are circling Jim Zorn. Would you fire him? And if so, whom would you replace him with?

After losing to the winless Chiefs, it does seem like something needs to be changed with the Redskins -- and it has. Zorn has given up the play-calling duties. If he were to be fired, then I'd expect the Redskins to hire a defensive coach.

Q. from Lenny: Why doesn't the NFL play teams from other countries?

Well, they used to in the preseason -- they played against the Canadian Football League -- but alternating sets of rules became too much of a hassle.

Q. from Jeff: Your fantasy team came in for a bit of a pounding this week. I'm starting to see an essential unfairness built into fantasy football, 'cause if you don't carry the right players, there's simply no way you can win. Thoughts?

Well, that's somewhat the point of fantasy football -- you have to choose the right players.

Q. from Lenny: What is a safety, and how many points do you get?

A safety is when the ball goes out the back of the end zone, or a penalty occurs in the end zone. You get two points.

Q. written by the analyst himself! Are the Raiders any good? They somehow beat Philadelphia.

I wouldn't get my hopes up. Two wins and four losses isn't something to be proud of.

Last Q. from Lenny: Who would you like to buy control of the St. Louis Rams?

Someone who knows what they're doing. It seems like Dave Checketts, who owns a hockey team, would have some experience.

Q.: Why, oh why, did the Ravens' kicker miss that final field goal? I do not know how much more of this Favrvrvrvrvre saga I can stand.

Steven Hauschka is a second-year, inexperienced kicker. Still, he needs to make those kicks.

Q.: My favorite moment of the weekend was the insipid, childish pout on the face of Jay and His Cutlery after he failed to steer the Bears to victory against the Falcons. Name your three favorite moments of the weekend.

1. Raiders run out the clock on Philadelphia.

2. Bills upset the Jets.

3. Dante Wesley gets suspended for his hit on Clifton Smith.

Q.: Finally, after an uncharacteristically chaotic blogging session, we come to America's favorite part, where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

Six overtime games in six weeks... at this rate, there will be seventeen when the regular season ends. There were fifteen last year.

NFL Week 5 Interview - Things Which Don't Make Sense Edition

Hello again, folks. Welcome back to the only major Internet sports blog which features the deep musings of an 11-year-old football analyst. This week our theme is Things Which Don't Make Sense, but first...

Q. Tell us about your fantasy team's stunning blowout victory this week. What's the secret to Hypnotic's impressive three-game winning streak, and their climb to second place in the league?

Well, I only won this game because Mcmuffin started three players, including Drew Brees, who were on bye weeks.

Q. Okay, on to our theme. I want to talk about a dozen Things Which Don't Make Sense five weeks into the NFL season. Thing One is, of course, the 5-0 Denver Broncos. No more can we say that they've only beaten cupcake teams -- the Pats went down, and went down hard. What do you foresee for the team from Mile High over the next several weeks?

Well, in a somewhat weak division, they'll continue to win some of their games. But they face the Chargers in Week 6, the Ravens in Week 8, the Steelers in week 9, the Chargers again in week 11, the Giants in week 12 on Thursday night, the Colts in week 14 and the Eagles in week 16. In other words, a ridiculously hard schedule. It'll be hard for them make it to the playoffs, let alone stay undefeated.

Q. Thing Two is the Bengals as division leaders. Is this a tribute to the overall ineptitude of the AFC North, or has Cincy finally put together a team worth watching?

The AFC North, besides Cleveland, is actually really good. The Bengals just seem to be superior this year. Yes, their team is worth watching.

Q. Thing Three: the 0-5 Titans. I've said it before -- this team has long been a fashionable Super Bowl pick, but this year they seem to have fallen off a cliff. Are Tennessee fans in for years of rebuilding, or is this just a bad streak?

I really have no idea. It's ridiculous that such a good team is doing so badly. Rebuilding may not be necessary, but it will be at the quarterback position.

Q. Thing Four: JaMarcus Russell's astounding mediocrity. What happened?? Was he simply rushed into the starting job too soon, or do his problems go deeper than that?

He's never been good at all. In the first few weeks, he played okay, but he doesn't seem to be the answer at quarterback. The Raiders, as usual, are the team that needs years of rebuilding.

Q. Thing Five: Cover boy Brady Quinn's slow slide into irrelevance. Will this guy ever start for an NFL franchise, or is he doomed to a role as a marginal backup?

After Derek Anderson's terrible performance, he seems to be the better quarterback in Cleveland. He may not ever be a consistent starter there.

Q. Thing Six: Kyle Orton suddenly looking like Joe Montana. Is he an anomaly, this year's Rex the Gross Man, or has Snorton finally grown into a starter?

He's looking good, but he's been aided by the performances of others like Brandon Marshall and Knowshon Moreno.

Q. Thing Seven: 250 yards receiving for Miles Austin. Who is this guy? Did he just have a once-in-a-lifetime game, or was this week the coming-out party for a major talent?

He may do a lot better than he did before, but don't expect him to break any more Cowboys records.

Q. Thing Eight: 6 to 3? How does an NFL game end 6-3? Are Cleveland and Buffalo really that bad?

Cleveland is. So is Buffalo, but at least they have some promise. All I can say for Cleveland is "2 FOR 17!".

Q. Thing Nine: I hate to even mention this, but for the past two weeks Big Brett Favrvrvre has actually looked like the gunslinger of yore, rather than the Adrian Peterson Handoff Specialist we saw in Weeks 1-3. Can the 40-year-old phenom keep it up?

For this season, but not any more afterwards. NO MORE FAVRE UNRETIREMENTS!!!!!!!!!

Q. Thing Ten: Seattle wakes up and blows out the mercurial Jaguars. Can the Hogs salvage their season with a healthy Matt Hassle-them-back under center?

I'm sure they can. After all, they looked improved to begin with before Sycamore Wallace came in.

Q. Thing Eleven: Michael Vick disappears from the headlines. Wow, that was quick. Is Kevin Kolb really good enough to make Philly fans forget Michael Pick?

No, but Donovan McNabb is. "Eagles steamroll Bucs in McNabb's return", anyone?

Q. Finally, Thing Twelve: Michael Crabtree signs with the Niners. Do you think they had to agree to buy into his "I would have gone higher" fantasies in order to make the deal?

No, he probably was the one that gave in, when the 49ers destroyed the Rams showed some promise.

Q. Now, in the world of things which do make sense, here's the place where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

I wonder if Derek Anderson broke the record for fewest completions in 17 attempts...

NFL Week 4 Interview

Rrrrrr. So sick of the whole Brett Favrvrvrvre business that I barely have the strength to type these words. But still, the blog must go on. We're here with our resident 11-year-old football analyst for a quicker-than-usual rundown of all the action in Week 4.

Q. A very quick Brett bit of business. Are you impressed by the news that Brett is the only quarterback in NFL history to have beaten all 32 NFL teams?

Definitely. Quarterbacks don't play against, say, teams in the other conference, that often.

Q. I know we touched on this last week, but the Broncos are, incredibly, 4-0. First of all, do you find this a more difficult team to dislike, what with the departure of the Rat-Coach and Jay and His Cutlery? And second, is this a genuinely good team, or just a fast starter which is bound to flame out at some point?

Two of their wins have been ridiculously lucky, but they have talent. They certainly are hard to hate. I don't think it'll be easy for them to finish the season the way they've started it.

Q. Coach Death Pool: Who will be the first coach to lose his job, and why?

It's hard to tell. The coaches of bad teams are all in their first season.

Q. When will Detroit pick up their next victory?

Against the Rams. Worst team in the NFL.

Q. Would you start Tyler Thigpen in Miami?

I thought it would be a good idea before yesterday. Chad Henne had a decent game, so I don't see why they shouldn't start him.

Q. I think that with their latest blowout by the 49ers, your assertion that the Rams are the worst team in the NFL has officially been borne out. What are three things that need to be done to rebuild this franchise?

1) Get a new, non-bust quarterback
2) Find a good coach
3) Draft wisely in general

Q. Will Terrell Owens ever be relevant again?

Because of his big mouth, he'll always be relevant for the media until he retires.

Q. Do you think Tom Brady is back to pre-injury form?

It sure seems like he is. The team isn't as good as it was when he won his third Super Bowl in four years.

Q. What the heck happened to the Titans, a fashionable preseason Super Bowl pick? Do you think they can rebound from their dismal start? What will it take?

I don't know what they can do. Chris Johnson will have to have some great games. And the AFC South is probably now the toughest AFC division.

Q. The Seahawks' electric green uniforms: worst uniform in history? Discuss. If there's a worse one, tell us what it is.

Well, I have absolutely no idea where the uniforms came from, or why Seattle wore them. At least they're not as bad as the original Bucs uniforms.

Q. If you were the Niners, would you renew talks with Michael Crabtree? Why/why not?

Well, after shutting out a division rival, I don't know if they need him. They don't seem to even care about his fantasies about being picked seventh overall.

Q. Is the Redskins' victory over the How Much Does That Corn Cost Buccaneers meaningful, or just a beatdown of a miserable opponent?

It wasn't a beatdown, it was a three-point victory. Still, it was almost an embarrassing loss, and it doesn't mean much in the big picture.

Q. What did you think of all the pink breast cancer awareness uniform accents? Who did it the best?

Chad Ochocinco's were the most noticeable, and talked-about, accents. I haven't seen anything particularly interesting enough to outdo him.

Q. New Orleans: unstoppable Super Bowl team?

So far, they've been unstoppable, but they probably will slip up sometime. Against Atlanta, hopefully.

Q. I know you are reluctant to pick a favorite NFL player. Who do you think is the most likable player?

Well, I'm not sure about this one. Reggie Wayne is pretty likable.

Q. Do you have a favorite coach?

Maybe Mike Tomlin.

Q. I like to check in on this occasionally: what are your most despised sports clichés?

"Left to right on your radio". Is something moving across my radio? Also,
"As cool as the other side of the pillow". *cough*Stuart Scott*cough*

Q. Jon Gruden: good broadcaster or lousy?

He's decent. He's a nice color commentator to replace Kornheiser.

Q. Has playing fantasy football enhanced your enjoyment of the game? How's your team doing?

My team's now 2-2. Hopefully I can continue my winning streak against "Mcmuffin".

Q. Finally, do you have a favorite sportswriter? A while back you picked a favorite sports book, but I've forgotten what it was. What is it these days?

I don't know many sportwriters, but I've always liked Sal Paolantonio's book, The Paolantonio Report.

Q. Now comes the point where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

The question is, who will be the first quarterback to lose to all 32 teams?

NFL Week 3 Interview

New deal! We're taking a break from our usual game-by-game format to get a general Week 3 assessment from our resident 11-year-old football analyst.

Q. I want to run down the seven undefeated teams and get your take on which ones are for real. The questions are a) are they a good team or just lucky, and b) can they keep it up? (Don't just give one-word answers; your faithful readers are yearning for some of your inimitably colorful sportswriting.)

1) Jets

Good or lucky?

Oh, they're good. Three important wins have come already.

Can they keep it up?

Well, when the Patriots meet the Jets again later in the season, expect Bill Belichick to have prepared them well. Still, I think they'll make the playoffs if they play the way they have in these first weeks.

2) Ravens

Good or lucky?

Well, Baltimore is somewhere in between. Two of their wins have come against incredibly weak teams - Kansas City and Cleveland - but they did beat San Diego. So, in other words, they're good, but their 3-0 start could be a fluke.

Can they keep it up?

Perhaps, but I don't know about them beating the Steelers, Vikings and Patriots, who all are on their schedule. They'll probably make the playoffs, but they won't be undefeated for much longer.

3) Colts

Good or lucky?

Everyone knows the Colts have talent after these three weeks! I think their blowout of Arizona, who were coming off of an utter destruction of Jacksonville (who the Colts barely beat, oddly enough) proves that they aren't just lucky.

Can they keep it up?

Their schedule doesn't look too difficult, but they need to watch out for Houston.

4) Broncos

Good or lucky?

L-U-C-K LUCK LUCK LUCK! They looked good in two easy victories, but they needed a miracle to beat Cincinnati.

Can they keep it up?

I doubt it. Remember, they still have to play against San Diego twice.

5) Giants

Good or lucky?

They are a serious contender for the NFC East title.

Can they keep it up?

Well, the Cowboys have looked good too, and they will face off against them again later in the season. They also must try to beat Philadelphia twice and San Diego once.

6) Vikings

Good or lucky?

Lucky, of course. How often do you win on a Hail Mary pass?

Can they keep it up?

Don't think so. Hard division, and they play the whole AFC North.

7) Saints

Good or lucky?

They're pretty good. But remember, two of their wins have come against pretty bad teams: Detroit and Buffalo.

Can they keep it up?

They'll get many more wins this season. But expect a serious challenge when they battle the Jets next week.

Q. Conversely, we now have seven teams which have yet to win a game. I'd like to know a) are they truly bad or just unlucky, and b) do you think they can turn it around? (Again: no one-word answers.)

1) Dolphins

Bad or unlucky?

Fairly unlucky (they lost Chad Pennington for the season), and also pretty bad.

Can they turn it around?

It's getting worse and worse. There isn't much time left for Miami to turn things around.

2) Browns

Bad or unlucky?

Bad. When you bench a quarterback fans beg for you to start, you have to be pretty bad.

Can they turn it around?

Unlikely. They play the Steelers twice. Enough said.

3) Titans

Bad or unlucky?

Pretty unlucky. All three games of theirs have been lost by either one touchdown or one field goal.

Can they turn it around?

I think they can, but it won't be easy.

4) Chiefs

Bad or unlucky?

They're definitely bad. Unfortunately for me, a Raiders fan, it's considered to be pretty horrible to lose to Oakland.

Can they turn it around?

No. They need more time. Maybe next season.

5) Buccaneers

Bad or unlucky?

This question shouldn't even be asked when you're benching your starter for JOSH JOHNSON.

Can they turn it around?

I highly doubt it. Remember, they still must play every divisional opponent of theirs twice.

6) Rams

Bad or unlucky?

Bad, again. Personally, I think they're the worst team in the NFL. Something must be done about Marc Bulger.

Can they turn it around?

Not this year. But if the offseason goes well, and they get a good draft, who knows what might happen? More hope here than in Kansas City.

7) Panthers

Bad or unlucky?

Pretty bad. Jake Delhomme really needs to improve if they want to turn things around.

Can they turn it around?

Well, it won't be easy if they want to, because the quality of play they've been exhibiting will not help them through their games against Atlanta and New Orleans.

That's all for now, fans. Now comes the part where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

Finally, a win for my fantasy team! 91-81. It's time to turn things around. I play the only winless team next week.

NFL Week 2 Interview

Welcome back to Week 2 of the NFL season. Our 11-year-old football analyst is taking a break from Madden 10 to run down all the exciting action.

Q. Your fantasy team took a beating this week. What happened, and what moves do you plan to make to remedy this?

I'm trying to claim Mario Manningham off waivers! He had a great week.

Q. How big is was that Jets' victory over the Patriots? How much do you think Rex Ryan's trash-talk had to do with their win?

Well, the fans were all very enthusiastic, and that helped. But so were the players. Under Mangini, they couldn't win. Now they have under Rex Ryan.

Q. Sports Illustrated referred to my Falcons as "the quietest 2-0 team out there." Do you agree? What do you think their record will be after eight games?

They're not too quiet, I think the 49ers are more quiet... but the Falcons will be 5-3 after eight games.

Q. I felt bad for Aaron Rodgers -- the Pack really should've won that game against the Bengals, but they simply ran out of time. How would you assess this year's Packer team? Do they rank with the great Favre-led teams?

They're better than a lot of Favre-led teams, but they can't compare with the teams led by greats like Forrest Gregg, Bart Starr and Paul Hornung.

Q. Speaking of Fav-ray, he is having a singularly undistinguished season thus far. Is he doing anything right now that Tarvaris Jackson couldn't do?

Well, he's an experienced veteran who's won a Super Bowl and CAN help the team more than a young, inconsistent backup.

Q. Every year the Texans are a vogue-y pick to make the playoffs, and every year they disappoint. Could this be the season they finally make a run?

We'll have to wait and see. Against one great defense, they lost by seventeen. Against another, they scored in the thirties. What??

Q. The Cardinals finally looked a bit Super Bowlish this week, but the Steelers lost to Jay and His Cutlery. What do you think it means that both championship teams have a loss only two weeks into the season?

It means that the other teams are ready to challenge them. I don't see either team winning the Super Bowl this year.

Q. The Saints' offense is positively freakish. Who do you think will be the first team to stop them?

The Jets, in Week 4.

Q. Related note: Should Drew Brees Method have that birthmark removed?

I don't see why he should. It's not that bad.

Q. You must have been pleased to see your Raiders pick up a victory, even though JaMarcus is looking pretty lousy. Would you bench him, or stay the course?

Why would you bench a quarterback who's winning? (I need to bench him in Madden -- he threw so many picks that Champ Bailey set an NFL record for most picks by a single player in one game).

Q. I have no idea whether this year's Bills are any good. What do you think? Is Terrell Owens making any difference to this team?

Well, he's giving them an (in)consistent receiving option. He's definitely helping. They looked nice against the Buck-an-ears.

Q. I'm finding it harder to loathe the Ravens now that they finally have an offense, but Ray Lewis is still a criminal. Does it bother you when guys like him are held up as heroes?

Definitely not as much as it bothers you. He is a great player.

Q. Bwowns/Bwoncos was so bworing that ESPN didn't even bwother showing highlights. Are either of these teams going to be relevant this season?

They did show some highlights, just not good ones. Anyway, the Broncos are 2-0 (although one win was a fluke) so they will not be too relevant, but they'll be more relevant than Cwevewand.

Q. I love how the Giants spoiled the Cowboys' home opener in their vaunted superstadium. Have you joined me in liking Eli Bernstein and loathing America's Team?

Yes, I have the same feelings. I also somewhat dislike the Patriots.

Q. The Jaguars made a lot of noises this week about acquiring Tim Tebow. Is it too early for this team to be bailing on their season?

Who says they are? But assuming they are, they really shouldn't. They need to rebound from their loss to Arizona at home.

Q. Who's your favorite player now that Jerry Porter is (I think) out of the league?

I don't know...I like Derrick Burgess, but now he plays for the Patriots. I can't think of one.

Q. Finally, here's the point where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

1) The fantasy football game isn't a blowout anymore!
2) Expect to hear more than you'd ever want to about Michael Vick this week.