We are back, folks, in more ways than one -- we just returned from a holiday trip to visit the family in Atlanta. The first 72 hours were great fun -- and then Delta Airlines got a hold of us. The only good part of the subsequent FIVE-HOUR DELAY was that we got to watch a lot of football while idling in the terminal.
Anyway... herewith, the final regular-season edition of our weekly football blog. And there is lots to discuss with our veteran 10-year-old football analyst.
1. OK! Very exciting final week of the season, with plenty of fireworks both on and off the field. Let's start with the beatdown the Eagles laid on Dallas -- was that a statement game or what?
It sure was. And because Oakland had beaten the Bucs, they got into the playoffs.
2. Wade Phillips is keeping his job, despite overseeing the hideous collapse (both on and off the field) of a team that had been tapped as a surefire Super Bowl contender. Is that smart or stupid?
I don't think he should keep his job. He's been mediocre, and really hasn't done much to help his collapsing team.
3. Speaking of the coaching carousel, Eric Mangini got booted within hours of the Jets' loss to the (yay) Dolphins. I don't think I agree with this move... how about you?
I don't agree with it either. But he was in New York, where coaches pretty much have to win.
4. Still on the Jets: I guess we have to talk one last time about the Brett Favre Experiment. He's saying he needs an MRI on his shoulder, and that the results will influence his decision whether or not to return. Sounds like an excuse to me. Will -- and should -- Favre come back for one more year?
Brett Favre probably will retire. I'm not sure if he should come back, though, because his performance has deteriorated.
5. Gotta pause for a moment to talk about the Patriots. After the year they've had, going 11-5 with Matt Cassel yet missing the playoffs... is that right? Should the NFL rethink its playoff formula?
If exceptions like this continue to be rare, then no. But their formula is a bit odd.
6. Meanwhile, the Cardinals (even in a victory over the Seahogs) look less impressive by the week. Is this an "out in the first round" playoff team?
Yep, especially against Fat-lanta.
7. Back to coaches: Romeo Crennel -- gone. Rod Marinelli -- gone. Deserved or not? And who the heck are they going to get to coach in Detroit?
I think they definitely deserved it. And as for coaching in Detroit, Mangini might work, and so would Bill Cowher.
8. Who do you think will be the next coaches to get whacked?
Jack Del Rio...hmm...I can't think of any realistic possibilities. Jacksonville likes Del Rio, anyway.
9. OK, let's start thinking ahead to the playoffs, specifically the wild-card round. Ravens/Dolphins -- which team has more momentum coming into this game?
Baltimore, especially because they beat Miami earlier in the season.
10. Colts vs. Chargers. Hard to pick against the Colts. What do you think?
Yes, it is. But I believe San Diego has a good chance of winning if they play like they did against Denver.
11. Falcons/Cardinals -- the battle of the birds! I think the Falcs will wipe the floor with the fading Cards, even in the latter's home stadium. How about you?
I do too. Arizona barely beat Seattle.
12. Finally, Eagles vs. Vikings. I still have to remind myself that the Vikings were division champs, that's how off-the-radar they are. And the Eagles have been pretty streaky. I think this is a hard pick -- how about you?
I'd pick the Vikings, unless the Eagles have another offensive explosion. But it is hard to believe that Minnesota won the division.
13. Looking even further ahead, the second-rounders are the Giants, Titans, Steelers and Panthers. Who's the toughest to beat in this group?
Erm...maybe Carolina at this point. The NFC looks stronger than the AFC in this category.
14. Finally, I guess you're going to have to revise your Giants-Patriots Super Bowl pick. Now that we know all the playoff teams... who's it gonna be?
Giants-Titans. But it's hard to tell.
15. Bonus question: A big sigh for the '08 Lions, who will forever live in infamy, with that Dan Orlovsky safety endlessly replayed on SportsCenter. If you could say one thing to the members of this accursed squad, what would it be?
"Shouldn't have fired Matt Millen". (NOTE: THAT WAS A JOKE!)
16. Whew! Big blog post today. Now comes the point where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.
Mike Singletary will remain as San Francisco's head coach.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
NFL Week 16 Interview
The weather outside is frightful... but our 10-year-old NFL analyst is so delightful. Let's fling him a few questions.
1. After the Cards' embarrassing blowout loss to the Pats, Cris Collinsworth termed them "the worst playoff team in living memory." Do you agree?
If they play in the playoffs like they did against the Patriots and Vikings, that's what they deserve to be labeled.
2. Will the Lions go 0-16? If you were rebuilding this team next year, where would you start?
Yes, and I would start at the skill positions. Dan Orlovsky and Rudi Johnson can not win them games.
3. So Brett Favre has (almost certainly) failed to take the Jets to the post-season, while deposed Jet QB "What Impresses You About" Chad Pennington has helped the Dolphins to an astonishing playoff run. Did Brett make a mistake? Did the Jets?
I don't think he did. He's had quite a good season in New York. Same for the Jets, even though he won't be around for much longer.
4. Is the jury still out on Aaron Rodgers?
Yes. But he's looked very good tonight against Chicago, even at the helm of an underachieving 5-9 team.
5. There seems to be a wide divergence of opinion about this year's NFL MVP. With the season almost over, who's your pick?
I really don't know. This has been quite an odd year, with only a few teams standing out.
6. The technology now exists to put a GPS chip in the football, thereby eliminating measurements and all the attendant nonsense. Would you do it?
It might cost a lot, but I would do it. So much broadcast time is wasted on measurements.
7. Which major US city is most deserving of an expansion team?
Los Angeles. Not just because I live there, but because so many teams have come there and gone.
8. Which current NFL city deserves to lose their franchise?
Detroit, maybe?
9. Lotta heat on Eagles coach Andy Reid these days. Personally, I like the guy, but would you fire him?
Perhaps, but probably not. The staff as a whole may need to be reevaluated.
10. While we're on the Eagles, Donovan McNabb -- keep him or trade him?
It all depends on the free agents. If the free agent quarterbacks are not that good, they should keep McNabb.
11. Would you ever like to participate in a football pool? How about a fantasy league? How about actually playing football?
Maybe a pool or league, but I'd rather play flag football casually than in a league. *shudders*
12. Before you started watching football, you hardly ever saw a TV commercial. Now you run through the house singing them. Which are your favorites, and which do you dislike the most?
Just because I see them doesn't mean I like them, but if I had to choose a favorite, I would choose that Peyton Manning at hotels MasterCard commercial. I especially dislike the "he went to Jared" commercials.
13. Now comes the spot where Henry gets to type anything he wants.
The Lions have already set the record for most losses in a season.
1. After the Cards' embarrassing blowout loss to the Pats, Cris Collinsworth termed them "the worst playoff team in living memory." Do you agree?
If they play in the playoffs like they did against the Patriots and Vikings, that's what they deserve to be labeled.
2. Will the Lions go 0-16? If you were rebuilding this team next year, where would you start?
Yes, and I would start at the skill positions. Dan Orlovsky and Rudi Johnson can not win them games.
3. So Brett Favre has (almost certainly) failed to take the Jets to the post-season, while deposed Jet QB "What Impresses You About" Chad Pennington has helped the Dolphins to an astonishing playoff run. Did Brett make a mistake? Did the Jets?
I don't think he did. He's had quite a good season in New York. Same for the Jets, even though he won't be around for much longer.
4. Is the jury still out on Aaron Rodgers?
Yes. But he's looked very good tonight against Chicago, even at the helm of an underachieving 5-9 team.
5. There seems to be a wide divergence of opinion about this year's NFL MVP. With the season almost over, who's your pick?
I really don't know. This has been quite an odd year, with only a few teams standing out.
6. The technology now exists to put a GPS chip in the football, thereby eliminating measurements and all the attendant nonsense. Would you do it?
It might cost a lot, but I would do it. So much broadcast time is wasted on measurements.
7. Which major US city is most deserving of an expansion team?
Los Angeles. Not just because I live there, but because so many teams have come there and gone.
8. Which current NFL city deserves to lose their franchise?
Detroit, maybe?
9. Lotta heat on Eagles coach Andy Reid these days. Personally, I like the guy, but would you fire him?
Perhaps, but probably not. The staff as a whole may need to be reevaluated.
10. While we're on the Eagles, Donovan McNabb -- keep him or trade him?
It all depends on the free agents. If the free agent quarterbacks are not that good, they should keep McNabb.
11. Would you ever like to participate in a football pool? How about a fantasy league? How about actually playing football?
Maybe a pool or league, but I'd rather play flag football casually than in a league. *shudders*
12. Before you started watching football, you hardly ever saw a TV commercial. Now you run through the house singing them. Which are your favorites, and which do you dislike the most?
Just because I see them doesn't mean I like them, but if I had to choose a favorite, I would choose that Peyton Manning at hotels MasterCard commercial. I especially dislike the "he went to Jared" commercials.
13. Now comes the spot where Henry gets to type anything he wants.
The Lions have already set the record for most losses in a season.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
NFL Week 14-15 - Playoff Edition
Didja miss us? Well, we're BACK after a one-week hiatus with our customary rundown of all the NFL action.
Q. Last time out, we talked about the teams which have been eliminated from playoff contention, and by now several more have joined those ranks. In the AFC, we've got Cleveland, Houston, Jacksonville, Oakland and Buffalo. I gotta say, I'm surprised to see the Jaguars on this list. How about you? Any other surprises?
I'm really surprised. Jacksonville had high expectations. And early in the season, no one expected Green Bay eliminated from playoff contention.
Q. Over in the NFC, San Francisco, Green Bay, New Orleans are all out of it. Stunning! These are teams with a lot of talent, many of whom were early picks to go deep into the playoffs. Who's the biggest surprise to you, and why?
Well, San Francisco was never all that good. New Orleans was trapped in a great division. So it comes down to Green Bay. Aaron Rodgers was labeled a phenomenon apparently too early in the season.
Q. Okay, enough with the losers, on to the winners. Despite their loss to the Texans today, the Titans seem head and shoulders above the rest of the NFL. But are they good enough to make a Super Bowl run?
Perhaps not, considering what we saw today. I just can't see them beating an AFC heavyweight if needed.
Q. The Steelers seem very streaky to me. How durable is this team?
They're a good team, but they didn't really show it today with a 13-9 win over the division rival Ravens.
Q. I think the Jets are a little flukey, but Favre's playoff experience will certainly serve them well down the stretch. How good are the Jets?
Very good, but still not good enough to convincingly beat a wounded team like Buffalo or win the AFC East early.
Q. I gotta say -- and not just 'cause I dislike the Rat-Coach -- I think this year's Broncos are pretty weak. You?
Weak, but they've still nearly clinched the AFC West.
Q. The Panthers -- real or fake? I always seem to think of them as tougher than they actually are.
They certainly looked good when they dismantled the Broncos this week.
Q. Are the Vikings really a playoff team?! Why?
I'm honestly not sure. They're a very overlooked 9-5 division leader, so I believe they should be considered one.
Q. And I know I say this every week, but THE CARDINALS?? Does this team belong on the short list of Super Bowl contenders?
Definitely, before their three-touchdown defeat by Minnesota.
Q. The Bucs and Falcons are battling for the remaining playoff spot. Who's got the best shot?
With the way Tampa Bay's defense has been lately, definitely Atlanta.
Q. Other bubble teams include the Bears, Cowboys, Eagles and Redskins. Who of this group has what it takes, and why?
None of these teams are really all that good. You can't call Washington and Philadelphia contenders when they're in third and fourth place in the West, and the Cowboys are disorganized but did pretty well against the Giants and have a good chance of getting a spot. This leaves Chicago, who will most likely get a playoff berth if they win their last few games.
Q. At this point, we can really start forecasting Super Bowl. Knowing what you know now, who do you think will be in Super Bowl whatever-it-is?
The Giants and the Patriots. Yes, again.
Q. And who's gonna win?
The Giants. Yes, again.
Q. Now comes the point where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.
The Lions will most likely go winless at this point.
Q. Last time out, we talked about the teams which have been eliminated from playoff contention, and by now several more have joined those ranks. In the AFC, we've got Cleveland, Houston, Jacksonville, Oakland and Buffalo. I gotta say, I'm surprised to see the Jaguars on this list. How about you? Any other surprises?
I'm really surprised. Jacksonville had high expectations. And early in the season, no one expected Green Bay eliminated from playoff contention.
Q. Over in the NFC, San Francisco, Green Bay, New Orleans are all out of it. Stunning! These are teams with a lot of talent, many of whom were early picks to go deep into the playoffs. Who's the biggest surprise to you, and why?
Well, San Francisco was never all that good. New Orleans was trapped in a great division. So it comes down to Green Bay. Aaron Rodgers was labeled a phenomenon apparently too early in the season.
Q. Okay, enough with the losers, on to the winners. Despite their loss to the Texans today, the Titans seem head and shoulders above the rest of the NFL. But are they good enough to make a Super Bowl run?
Perhaps not, considering what we saw today. I just can't see them beating an AFC heavyweight if needed.
Q. The Steelers seem very streaky to me. How durable is this team?
They're a good team, but they didn't really show it today with a 13-9 win over the division rival Ravens.
Q. I think the Jets are a little flukey, but Favre's playoff experience will certainly serve them well down the stretch. How good are the Jets?
Very good, but still not good enough to convincingly beat a wounded team like Buffalo or win the AFC East early.
Q. I gotta say -- and not just 'cause I dislike the Rat-Coach -- I think this year's Broncos are pretty weak. You?
Weak, but they've still nearly clinched the AFC West.
Q. The Panthers -- real or fake? I always seem to think of them as tougher than they actually are.
They certainly looked good when they dismantled the Broncos this week.
Q. Are the Vikings really a playoff team?! Why?
I'm honestly not sure. They're a very overlooked 9-5 division leader, so I believe they should be considered one.
Q. And I know I say this every week, but THE CARDINALS?? Does this team belong on the short list of Super Bowl contenders?
Definitely, before their three-touchdown defeat by Minnesota.
Q. The Bucs and Falcons are battling for the remaining playoff spot. Who's got the best shot?
With the way Tampa Bay's defense has been lately, definitely Atlanta.
Q. Other bubble teams include the Bears, Cowboys, Eagles and Redskins. Who of this group has what it takes, and why?
None of these teams are really all that good. You can't call Washington and Philadelphia contenders when they're in third and fourth place in the West, and the Cowboys are disorganized but did pretty well against the Giants and have a good chance of getting a spot. This leaves Chicago, who will most likely get a playoff berth if they win their last few games.
Q. At this point, we can really start forecasting Super Bowl. Knowing what you know now, who do you think will be in Super Bowl whatever-it-is?
The Giants and the Patriots. Yes, again.
Q. And who's gonna win?
The Giants. Yes, again.
Q. Now comes the point where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.
The Lions will most likely go winless at this point.
Monday, December 01, 2008
NFL Week 13 Interview - Playoff Elimination Edition
Welcome back to the Unlucky Thirteen edition of our weekly recap. Henry's soccer team was busy winning the citywide Turkey Tournament this past weekend, so once again our football-watching was somewhat curtailed. No worries, though -- that just means you get yet another offbeat set of questions for our ten-year-old NFL analyst.
Q. Before we begin, a quick non-football question: Your team, the Sherman Oaks Guys, swept the Turkey Tournament, winning all five of its games -- and only one goal was scored on you Guys in the entire tournament! What were the keys to your team's astonishing playoff run?
Well, we didn't work too well as a team, but we were very friendly to each other and never treated each other badly. We had some very talented players.
Q. Now, on to football. As the regular season winds down, we're finally starting to see some teams eliminated from playoff contention -- five, to be exact. I want to briefly talk about each of these teams, starting with the ever-hapless Cincinnati Bengals. What were their primary problems this season?
They had the distraction of Chad Ocho Cinco, constant injuries (including the one to Carson Palmer)...everything went wrong.
Q. Do they have anything to build on for the future?
They have a lot of talent. But they need to use it to their advantage.
Q. Will Marvin Lewis be part of that future?
Maybe, maybe not. I honestly wouldn't be very satisfied, but the team was harmed by the things I mentioned before.
Q. On to the Kansas City Chiefs. Kind of a puzzle, this team. Do you think they're better than their 2-10 record would indicate?
I would say so. But they're a work in progress, with so much youth.
Q. And what of Tyler Thigpen -- is this kid any good?
Pretty good. He has nice mobility and passing in general, but he was thrown in and out of the starting role. And he's inconsistent.
Q. Ah, now we have to talk about the Lions. I always have a soft spot for this perennially crummy team, probably because of George Plimpton's Paper Lion, which in my opinion is the best sports book ever written. Is the end of the Matt Millen era the start of something good for the Lions?
Most likely. He was managing the team terribly and squandering talent and draft picks.
Q. What do they have to build on?
The aforementioned talent. Think of Calvin Johnson, or young running back Kevin Smith. They also have Rudi Johnson.
Q. Now, the St. Louis Rams. Hard to believe that just a few short years ago this team was called The Greatest Show on Turf. What's behind their precipitous fall?
They lost Marshall Faulk...They lost Dick Vermeil and Mike Martz...They lost Kurt Warner...
Q. Finally -- sigh -- we come to the Seattle Seahawks, a team that a lot of folks had picked to go to the Super Bowl this year. Guess they won't be paying off that $20 bet I made in Vegas earlier this yet. Was it just injuries that plagued the team this season?
Well, maybe Mike Holmgren didn't put effort into coaching his last year. Also, the team was just unable to do anything somehow. Maybe they shouldn't have gotten rid of Shaun Alexander so soon.
Q. I have to admit, I'm not that excited about the dawning of the Jim Mora era in Seattle. How about you?
Not exactly, but the team needs change anyway. They can't go any further down from where they are now.
Q. We'll cover the playoff contenders in a future edition of the Weird Blog, but I want to spend a moment talking about what to me is the surprise team of the year: The Arizona Cardinals. I always said this team would never get good until they scrapped their logo, but they seem to be doing well anyway. What's the secret of their success?
Anquan Boldin staying, the resurgence of Kurt Warner, a consistent running game (despite the benching of Edgerrin James). These were all critical.
Q. Final question, a two-parter: I think one of the big stories of this season has been the stellar performance of aging backups-turned-starters such as Kerry Collins and Kurt Warner. What made this the Year of the Grizzled Veteran QB?
More motivation. Being backups or being on losing teams was not appealing to Collins and Warner.
Q. And what does their success bode for their highly touted now-backups, Vince Young and Matt Leinart?
Those two are demoralized now, especially Young. They aren't that good, anyway.
Q. Thank you, Hen. Now comes the part where you get to type whatever you want.
Correction: Ed Reed did not tie Nathan Vasher and Devin Hester. His return could have been about a yard shorter.
Q. Before we begin, a quick non-football question: Your team, the Sherman Oaks Guys, swept the Turkey Tournament, winning all five of its games -- and only one goal was scored on you Guys in the entire tournament! What were the keys to your team's astonishing playoff run?
Well, we didn't work too well as a team, but we were very friendly to each other and never treated each other badly. We had some very talented players.
Q. Now, on to football. As the regular season winds down, we're finally starting to see some teams eliminated from playoff contention -- five, to be exact. I want to briefly talk about each of these teams, starting with the ever-hapless Cincinnati Bengals. What were their primary problems this season?
They had the distraction of Chad Ocho Cinco, constant injuries (including the one to Carson Palmer)...everything went wrong.
Q. Do they have anything to build on for the future?
They have a lot of talent. But they need to use it to their advantage.
Q. Will Marvin Lewis be part of that future?
Maybe, maybe not. I honestly wouldn't be very satisfied, but the team was harmed by the things I mentioned before.
Q. On to the Kansas City Chiefs. Kind of a puzzle, this team. Do you think they're better than their 2-10 record would indicate?
I would say so. But they're a work in progress, with so much youth.
Q. And what of Tyler Thigpen -- is this kid any good?
Pretty good. He has nice mobility and passing in general, but he was thrown in and out of the starting role. And he's inconsistent.
Q. Ah, now we have to talk about the Lions. I always have a soft spot for this perennially crummy team, probably because of George Plimpton's Paper Lion, which in my opinion is the best sports book ever written. Is the end of the Matt Millen era the start of something good for the Lions?
Most likely. He was managing the team terribly and squandering talent and draft picks.
Q. What do they have to build on?
The aforementioned talent. Think of Calvin Johnson, or young running back Kevin Smith. They also have Rudi Johnson.
Q. Now, the St. Louis Rams. Hard to believe that just a few short years ago this team was called The Greatest Show on Turf. What's behind their precipitous fall?
They lost Marshall Faulk...They lost Dick Vermeil and Mike Martz...They lost Kurt Warner...
Q. Finally -- sigh -- we come to the Seattle Seahawks, a team that a lot of folks had picked to go to the Super Bowl this year. Guess they won't be paying off that $20 bet I made in Vegas earlier this yet. Was it just injuries that plagued the team this season?
Well, maybe Mike Holmgren didn't put effort into coaching his last year. Also, the team was just unable to do anything somehow. Maybe they shouldn't have gotten rid of Shaun Alexander so soon.
Q. I have to admit, I'm not that excited about the dawning of the Jim Mora era in Seattle. How about you?
Not exactly, but the team needs change anyway. They can't go any further down from where they are now.
Q. We'll cover the playoff contenders in a future edition of the Weird Blog, but I want to spend a moment talking about what to me is the surprise team of the year: The Arizona Cardinals. I always said this team would never get good until they scrapped their logo, but they seem to be doing well anyway. What's the secret of their success?
Anquan Boldin staying, the resurgence of Kurt Warner, a consistent running game (despite the benching of Edgerrin James). These were all critical.
Q. Final question, a two-parter: I think one of the big stories of this season has been the stellar performance of aging backups-turned-starters such as Kerry Collins and Kurt Warner. What made this the Year of the Grizzled Veteran QB?
More motivation. Being backups or being on losing teams was not appealing to Collins and Warner.
Q. And what does their success bode for their highly touted now-backups, Vince Young and Matt Leinart?
Those two are demoralized now, especially Young. They aren't that good, anyway.
Q. Thank you, Hen. Now comes the part where you get to type whatever you want.
Correction: Ed Reed did not tie Nathan Vasher and Devin Hester. His return could have been about a yard shorter.
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