NFL Week 2 Interview

Welcome back to Week 2 of the NFL season. Our 11-year-old football analyst is taking a break from Madden 10 to run down all the exciting action.

Q. Your fantasy team took a beating this week. What happened, and what moves do you plan to make to remedy this?

I'm trying to claim Mario Manningham off waivers! He had a great week.

Q. How big is was that Jets' victory over the Patriots? How much do you think Rex Ryan's trash-talk had to do with their win?

Well, the fans were all very enthusiastic, and that helped. But so were the players. Under Mangini, they couldn't win. Now they have under Rex Ryan.

Q. Sports Illustrated referred to my Falcons as "the quietest 2-0 team out there." Do you agree? What do you think their record will be after eight games?

They're not too quiet, I think the 49ers are more quiet... but the Falcons will be 5-3 after eight games.

Q. I felt bad for Aaron Rodgers -- the Pack really should've won that game against the Bengals, but they simply ran out of time. How would you assess this year's Packer team? Do they rank with the great Favre-led teams?

They're better than a lot of Favre-led teams, but they can't compare with the teams led by greats like Forrest Gregg, Bart Starr and Paul Hornung.

Q. Speaking of Fav-ray, he is having a singularly undistinguished season thus far. Is he doing anything right now that Tarvaris Jackson couldn't do?

Well, he's an experienced veteran who's won a Super Bowl and CAN help the team more than a young, inconsistent backup.

Q. Every year the Texans are a vogue-y pick to make the playoffs, and every year they disappoint. Could this be the season they finally make a run?

We'll have to wait and see. Against one great defense, they lost by seventeen. Against another, they scored in the thirties. What??

Q. The Cardinals finally looked a bit Super Bowlish this week, but the Steelers lost to Jay and His Cutlery. What do you think it means that both championship teams have a loss only two weeks into the season?

It means that the other teams are ready to challenge them. I don't see either team winning the Super Bowl this year.

Q. The Saints' offense is positively freakish. Who do you think will be the first team to stop them?

The Jets, in Week 4.

Q. Related note: Should Drew Brees Method have that birthmark removed?

I don't see why he should. It's not that bad.

Q. You must have been pleased to see your Raiders pick up a victory, even though JaMarcus is looking pretty lousy. Would you bench him, or stay the course?

Why would you bench a quarterback who's winning? (I need to bench him in Madden -- he threw so many picks that Champ Bailey set an NFL record for most picks by a single player in one game).

Q. I have no idea whether this year's Bills are any good. What do you think? Is Terrell Owens making any difference to this team?

Well, he's giving them an (in)consistent receiving option. He's definitely helping. They looked nice against the Buck-an-ears.

Q. I'm finding it harder to loathe the Ravens now that they finally have an offense, but Ray Lewis is still a criminal. Does it bother you when guys like him are held up as heroes?

Definitely not as much as it bothers you. He is a great player.

Q. Bwowns/Bwoncos was so bworing that ESPN didn't even bwother showing highlights. Are either of these teams going to be relevant this season?

They did show some highlights, just not good ones. Anyway, the Broncos are 2-0 (although one win was a fluke) so they will not be too relevant, but they'll be more relevant than Cwevewand.

Q. I love how the Giants spoiled the Cowboys' home opener in their vaunted superstadium. Have you joined me in liking Eli Bernstein and loathing America's Team?

Yes, I have the same feelings. I also somewhat dislike the Patriots.

Q. The Jaguars made a lot of noises this week about acquiring Tim Tebow. Is it too early for this team to be bailing on their season?

Who says they are? But assuming they are, they really shouldn't. They need to rebound from their loss to Arizona at home.

Q. Who's your favorite player now that Jerry Porter is (I think) out of the league?

I don't know...I like Derrick Burgess, but now he plays for the Patriots. I can't think of one.

Q. Finally, here's the point where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

1) The fantasy football game isn't a blowout anymore!
2) Expect to hear more than you'd ever want to about Michael Vick this week.