As we type these words, Henry's team Hypnotic is clinging to a ten-point lead over Crazy-Jay in the fourth quarter of the Monday night game -- but CJ has both Tom Brady and Wes Welker, while Hypnotic is only carrying Saints kicker John Carney. Let's hope for a second half featuring lots of long, grueling Saints drives capped by field goals....
Well, we skipped a week again, but all that does is give us more to discuss with our resident 11-year-old football analyst. Let's get to it!
Q. Couple quick questions about college football as the season draws to a close. What was your favorite game from Rivalry Weekend and why?
Cal-Stanford, from last week, because Cal won in a dramatic finish.
Q. I'd like to get your thoughts on the grisly end of the USC-UCLA contest. Do you think Pete Carroll was a bad sport to call that play-action bomb? Was Rick Neuheisel for calling a pointless time-out?
Pete Carroll was a horrible sport. That's like the definition of bad sportsmanship. As for Neuheisel, maybe it was pointless, but it wasn't bad sportmanship either.
Q. This gives us a perfect segue to the thrilling Titans-Cardinals game, which rematched former Rose Bowl foes Vince Young and Matt Leinart. How 'bout that 99-yard drive Young engineered to win the game? Has this guy finally come of age?
It appears that he has. He no longer has just raw talent, he has full-fledged talent.
Q. What about Leinart? Does he have a future as a starter after yet another mediocre performance?
Only if he's given time to develop. Remember, that was VY's fifth game. Leinart didn't know he was starting until midday, but he still isn't doing very well despite that.
Q. Another wild finish was Atlanta's triumph (in throwback gear no less) over the hapless How Much Does That Corn Cost Buck-an-Ears. Your thoughts on reliever Chris Redman?
Well, he's a great backup with starting experience. The question is, can he beat the Eagles defense?
Q. Speaking of relievers, I thought Dennis Dixon looked impressive in a losing effort for the Steelers. With Big Ben's brain rattling around inside his cranium, could Dixon be Pittsburgh's quarterback of the future?
Chances are, he'll end up as the backup quarterback of the future. Ben hasn't actually been around for too many years. Maybe in a couple years, he'll get traded to a team that will give him a chance to start.
Q. Matthew Stafford slumped a bit after a spectacular Week 9 performance. How long will it be before the Lions are truly contenders?
A few more years. Maybe it would help to sign some big-name free agents.
Q. We talked about this on our walk yesterday: What's the next move in the Raiders' rebuilding operation? Head coach? Quarterback? Will JaMarcus Russell be part of the equation?
Both. Knowing Al Davis, he'll probably get Bobby Petrino and Colt McCoy, or someone like them.
Q. The Denver Bwoncos look to be on the rebound, while the Giants are continuing their slide. Which one of these teams is most likely to make the playoffs, and why?
Denver, and they might win their division. The Giants have a very difficult schedule coming up, although they might make the playoffs anyway.
Q. Buffalo gave Perry "Rocket" Fewell his first victory, but we've been hearing rumblings (or more accurately rodent-like scrabblings) of a Return of the Ratcoach in Buffalo. Is Shanahan a good fit for this franchise?
Well, Shanahan's teams always have an identity, usually of carrying many different running backs that all contribute, and the Bills only somewhat fit in that regard. In fact, they only somewhat fit in general. I bet he'll do well if he's hired, though.
Q. Speaking of franchises, they're not calling Mark "the Sanchise" much in NYC anymore. What happened after to the ace we saw in the first few weeks of the season?
I'm not positive. Perhaps he cracked under the pressure, or simply started facing better defenses and more difficult circumstances.
Q. Philly stole one from Washington in a game which featured a few pointless Michael Vick appearances. What is this guy doing with the Eagles, anyway?
Nothing. That's the only way it can be described.
Q. I did not even watch Seattle/St. Louis, that's how disenchanted I am with this team. Where should the Seahogs' reboot begin? You mentioned a good backup QB....
Yeah, but Mike Teel could be too low of a draft pick to ever make a difference in the NFL. As I said on our walk, they could use a real running back, or the second running back of a running back-by-committee that would include Justin Forsett.
Q. Looks like Jake Delhomme will be mercifully benched by the Panthers because of an alleged finger fracture. Yeah, the exact part of the finger that causes tons of interceptions. Do you think untested backup Matt Moore can save the Cats' season?
Well, he's hardly untested. He has playing experience. Nevertheless, he's simply a mediocre quarterback, and the Cats need to win five straight to even have a chance at the playoffs, including a game against New Orleans.
Q. Cincy continues to roll, this time behind a 100-yard rushing performance by bad citizen Larry Johnson. Is it wrong that this creep is effectively being rewarded for bad behavior?
Well, he's doing a good job from someone who has gone from starter to fourth running back. But remember that he had served his suspension. The Chiefs just decided to move on.
Q. Indy pulled out a victory against Houston. Do you think this team can go undefeated?
They can, but they can't come back from every big deficit. If this keeps happening, they'll lose.
Q. Our last question is on Tim Tebow Tim Tebow. Is he as good as they say? Will he pick the top pick in next year's draft? And if so, where do you think he will end up?
No, and he'll be in either Jacksonville or Washington. That is my bold prediction.
Q. Now comes the part where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.
It's really sad that I went from starting Ronnie Brown and Brian Westbrook in fantasy football to Bernard Scott and Justin Forsett.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
NFL Week 10 Interview - Midseason Edition
Yes, folks, we skipped another week; hence the general sense of ennui you feel about your life and the world around you. But do not despair, gentle reader, for we are BACK at the season's midpoint for a thoughtful assessment of all the NFL action. Our resident 11-year-old football analyst is mere feet away, playing NCAA 10 on our new HDTV, as I compose these questions....
Q. Gotta start with the play that dominated sports talk radio for the entire day, and will probably continue doing so for the remainder of the week. What did you think of Bill Belichick's go-for-it call on fourth and 2? Smart or stupid? Did it ultimately cost the Patriots the game?
Well, I didn't see it occur. But I can tell you that when you're Bill Belichick, you expect your team to convert. It's still inexcusable to go for it, especially on your own 28. And it did cost them the game.
Q. Lost in all of this Monday morning quarterbacking is the fact that after the failed attempt the New England defense simply folded, allowing the Colts to move thirty yards in a matter of seconds for the go-ahead touchdown. Were they just demoralized by their coach's apparent lack of faith in them, or what?
That, but more importantly, they had given up a huge lead.
Q. Another big story is the emergence of the Bengals as a genuine division leader with their impressive defeat of the Steelers. Is this team good enough to go the distance?
Not the Super Bowl distance, but certainly the divisional round distance. I don't think they could beat the Colts right now.
Q. What did you think of their signing of bad citizen Larry Johnson?
Well, I mean, Marvin Lewis claims it has nothing to do with the Cedric Benson injury, but can the Bengals really rely on a rookie from Abilene Christian?
Q. Kyle Snorton went down with an injury in the Broncos' unexpected loss to the Redskins. Does this sound the death knell for a Denver season which started so promisingly?
I heard he would play next week, but I still think they're on a steep decline.
Q. Speaking of former Broncos, can we talk about the mess in Chicago? Jay and His Cutlery is a pouty, pick-throwing disaster. What's going on there?
I really don't know. Maybe they should go to their running game. After all, they have Matt Forte.
Q. I cannot explain either the Falcons or the Seahawks week to week. It seems impossible to tell if either of these teams is any good. Which do you think has a better chance to make a postseason run?
The Falcons. Although the Seahawks started out well, I simply cannot see why they are doing so badly.
Q. Has Matt Hasselbeck lost it? What needs to be done in Seattle to make this team competitive?
He's not a bad quarterback. However, Seattle needs a decent running game. Justin Forsett is improving, though. He just got his first 100-yard game.
Q. Meanwhile, the Titans and Panthers seem to be rebounding from bad starts. Can they put together solid seasons in the time remaining?
Well, the Titans already have six losses in a tough wild card race. They're also in a difficult division. It doesn't look good. As for Carolina, their situation is just as bad. Their main competition is Atlanta, San Francisco, Philadelphia, New York, Green Bay and Chicago. Sounds hard.
Q. What's with Vince Young finally getting it together? What's changed in Tennessee to enable him to perform better?
He is compelled to prove himself. The starting job was simply given to him before.
Q. Brett Favrvrvrvre is on fire right now, with his aging arm showing remarkable range and accuracy. Do you think he'd be competing with this kind of fire if he were still in Green Bay?
Why wouldn't he be? Although his supporting cast is better in Minnesota, that wouldn't change his level of play. He does have more motivation now that he's playing for a division rival, though.
Q. Of the current glut of bad teams -- let's say KC, Oakland, Cleveland, Detroit, St. Louis and Tampa Bay -- which has the best chance to make a surprising late season run and why?
None of those five will make the playoffs. Tampa Bay and St. Louis are the best of them, though.
Q. Totally out of the news: Terrell Owens. Is this gentleman's career effectively over?
I don't think so, but he needs to contribute more if he wants to keep his career going.
Q. Many are continuing to predict a Colts-Saints Super Bowl at this point. What do you think?
I'd say that the Saints will definitely be there, but that Indianapolis could slip up.
Q. How's fantasy football treating you? I know you managed to eke out a narrow victory this week. Do you think your Hypnotic squad can make the playoffs?
No. But there's a small chance.
Q. Finally, we have the part where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.
In my fantasy football league, you always start with 10 points because the defense gets 10 for the defense's opponent being shut out. (0-0, anyone?)
Q. Gotta start with the play that dominated sports talk radio for the entire day, and will probably continue doing so for the remainder of the week. What did you think of Bill Belichick's go-for-it call on fourth and 2? Smart or stupid? Did it ultimately cost the Patriots the game?
Well, I didn't see it occur. But I can tell you that when you're Bill Belichick, you expect your team to convert. It's still inexcusable to go for it, especially on your own 28. And it did cost them the game.
Q. Lost in all of this Monday morning quarterbacking is the fact that after the failed attempt the New England defense simply folded, allowing the Colts to move thirty yards in a matter of seconds for the go-ahead touchdown. Were they just demoralized by their coach's apparent lack of faith in them, or what?
That, but more importantly, they had given up a huge lead.
Q. Another big story is the emergence of the Bengals as a genuine division leader with their impressive defeat of the Steelers. Is this team good enough to go the distance?
Not the Super Bowl distance, but certainly the divisional round distance. I don't think they could beat the Colts right now.
Q. What did you think of their signing of bad citizen Larry Johnson?
Well, I mean, Marvin Lewis claims it has nothing to do with the Cedric Benson injury, but can the Bengals really rely on a rookie from Abilene Christian?
Q. Kyle Snorton went down with an injury in the Broncos' unexpected loss to the Redskins. Does this sound the death knell for a Denver season which started so promisingly?
I heard he would play next week, but I still think they're on a steep decline.
Q. Speaking of former Broncos, can we talk about the mess in Chicago? Jay and His Cutlery is a pouty, pick-throwing disaster. What's going on there?
I really don't know. Maybe they should go to their running game. After all, they have Matt Forte.
Q. I cannot explain either the Falcons or the Seahawks week to week. It seems impossible to tell if either of these teams is any good. Which do you think has a better chance to make a postseason run?
The Falcons. Although the Seahawks started out well, I simply cannot see why they are doing so badly.
Q. Has Matt Hasselbeck lost it? What needs to be done in Seattle to make this team competitive?
He's not a bad quarterback. However, Seattle needs a decent running game. Justin Forsett is improving, though. He just got his first 100-yard game.
Q. Meanwhile, the Titans and Panthers seem to be rebounding from bad starts. Can they put together solid seasons in the time remaining?
Well, the Titans already have six losses in a tough wild card race. They're also in a difficult division. It doesn't look good. As for Carolina, their situation is just as bad. Their main competition is Atlanta, San Francisco, Philadelphia, New York, Green Bay and Chicago. Sounds hard.
Q. What's with Vince Young finally getting it together? What's changed in Tennessee to enable him to perform better?
He is compelled to prove himself. The starting job was simply given to him before.
Q. Brett Favrvrvrvre is on fire right now, with his aging arm showing remarkable range and accuracy. Do you think he'd be competing with this kind of fire if he were still in Green Bay?
Why wouldn't he be? Although his supporting cast is better in Minnesota, that wouldn't change his level of play. He does have more motivation now that he's playing for a division rival, though.
Q. Of the current glut of bad teams -- let's say KC, Oakland, Cleveland, Detroit, St. Louis and Tampa Bay -- which has the best chance to make a surprising late season run and why?
None of those five will make the playoffs. Tampa Bay and St. Louis are the best of them, though.
Q. Totally out of the news: Terrell Owens. Is this gentleman's career effectively over?
I don't think so, but he needs to contribute more if he wants to keep his career going.
Q. Many are continuing to predict a Colts-Saints Super Bowl at this point. What do you think?
I'd say that the Saints will definitely be there, but that Indianapolis could slip up.
Q. How's fantasy football treating you? I know you managed to eke out a narrow victory this week. Do you think your Hypnotic squad can make the playoffs?
No. But there's a small chance.
Q. Finally, we have the part where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.
In my fantasy football league, you always start with 10 points because the defense gets 10 for the defense's opponent being shut out. (0-0, anyone?)
Sunday, November 01, 2009
NFL Week 8 Interview - "Pump It, Louder!" Edition
Sometimes we skip a week, sports fans, just to make you appreciate us. Last week we were still recovering from Sunday night's U2 + Black Eyed Peas show at the Rose Bowl, so we never got around to posting an update. But now we are back with all the trenchant analysis you've come to expect from the Internet's finest sports blog.
Q. I want to open with a non-sports question: What'd you think of the U2 concert?
Although it was a little disappointing, it was still a great spectacle.
Q. How was it seeing an arena show with an audience of nearly 100,000 people?
Amazing. I don't think I've even encountered 100,000 people in my entire life.
Q. Which band impressed you the most?
The Black Eyed Peas put on a much more exciting show. They were somewhat more impressive.
Q. Finally, talk about your Halloween costume and the genesis thereof.
I dressed up as "Punk Rock Spock". Basically, I bought a Spock costume and pointed ears. Then I put a safety pin through one ear, attached pins saying "No Future" to the shirt and wore some studded wristbands.
Q. Okay, on to football. Apparently the bookmakers are getting killed this season because the separation between the really good teams and the really bad teams is more pronounced than it's been in years. Does it seem that way to you?
Yes, but there aren't too many outstanding teams. It seems like there are bad teams, okay teams and pretty good teams.
Q. Name four elite teams and your assessment of their playoff chances.
Indianapolis, New Orleans, New York (the Giants) and New England. Indianapolis is potentially the best team in the AFC, and I think they will go far. With the Giants' loss, New Orleans is the undisputed best team in the NFC. Let's see how they do against Atlanta. The Giants lost today and last week, but are still a good team. I predict they will lose in the divisional round after beating some weaker wild card. And finally, the Patriots are better than they appear.
Q. Another reason this is an unusual year is the dearth of rookie standouts, with hyped newcomers like Mark Sanchez fading down the stretch. Can you pick out any rookies who you feel are making a significant impact right now?
Although Mark Sanchez is fading, he is really helping his team. They wouldn't be as far as they are with Kellen Clemens at quarterback.
Q. The Titans finally picked up their first win today with Vince Young under center. Meaningful?
Eh, it was against Jacksonville. Let's see him against the Colts.
Q. Conversely, the Panthers surprised the Cardinals with the help of a strong performance from Jake Delhomme. Meaningless?
No. Jake Delhomme has realized that unless he does well, he'll be in St. Louis or somewhere next season.
Q. Quick digression to college ball. A lot of people find the college game to be much more entertaining than the pro game. Do you agree?
I'd say that college overtime, and the freedom to attempt more trick plays in college, make it a little more "fun".
Q. We have a new HDTV. Do you enjoy games more in HD, or does it not make that much of a difference to you?
It looks better, and I appreciate that, but it doesn't make me enjoy it more.
Q. What about video games like NCAA 10? Do they look better in HD?
YES!
Q. What's the state of the Wildcat formation at this point? Is it still an effective gimmick, or has it become so quotidian that it's no more special than, say, the shotgun spread?
I like the Wildcat, and it will be here to stay for at least a little while, but unlike the shotgun spread, it's not its own offense.
Q. Which team runs the Wildcat the best?
Miami came up with the original idea, and so has many more wrinkles to offer. They run it best.
Q. What's your favorite throwback uniform?
Either the Bills', or the yellow-helmet Steelers'.
Q. The yearly London games bespeak the NFL's determination to make American football a global sport. Would you favor adding a non-US team to the NFL? If so, which city should get the first foreign franchise?
I understand that it's important for American football to become an international sport, but for whatever reason, the idea of a team from London doesn't intrigue me. I wouldn't be incredibly opposed, though, so if there was a foreign franchise, it should probably be from London. Toronto is a good choice, but it has a CFL team.
Q. Should Los Angeles get a franchise? Which is more likely -- that it's an expansion team, or a team which relocates from somewhere else?
Expansion team. Only the Jaguars and Bills should really consider relocation.
Q. Since we're posting a day early, I challenge you to predict the EXACT FINAL SCORE of the Monday night Falcons-Saints game. Bettors, take note!
31-23 Saints. Sorry.
Q. And now comes the part where Henry gets to type whatever he wants.
With Vince Young now a starter, I wonder what the future holds for Matt Leinart.
Q. I want to open with a non-sports question: What'd you think of the U2 concert?
Although it was a little disappointing, it was still a great spectacle.
Q. How was it seeing an arena show with an audience of nearly 100,000 people?
Amazing. I don't think I've even encountered 100,000 people in my entire life.
Q. Which band impressed you the most?
The Black Eyed Peas put on a much more exciting show. They were somewhat more impressive.
Q. Finally, talk about your Halloween costume and the genesis thereof.
I dressed up as "Punk Rock Spock". Basically, I bought a Spock costume and pointed ears. Then I put a safety pin through one ear, attached pins saying "No Future" to the shirt and wore some studded wristbands.
Q. Okay, on to football. Apparently the bookmakers are getting killed this season because the separation between the really good teams and the really bad teams is more pronounced than it's been in years. Does it seem that way to you?
Yes, but there aren't too many outstanding teams. It seems like there are bad teams, okay teams and pretty good teams.
Q. Name four elite teams and your assessment of their playoff chances.
Indianapolis, New Orleans, New York (the Giants) and New England. Indianapolis is potentially the best team in the AFC, and I think they will go far. With the Giants' loss, New Orleans is the undisputed best team in the NFC. Let's see how they do against Atlanta. The Giants lost today and last week, but are still a good team. I predict they will lose in the divisional round after beating some weaker wild card. And finally, the Patriots are better than they appear.
Q. Another reason this is an unusual year is the dearth of rookie standouts, with hyped newcomers like Mark Sanchez fading down the stretch. Can you pick out any rookies who you feel are making a significant impact right now?
Although Mark Sanchez is fading, he is really helping his team. They wouldn't be as far as they are with Kellen Clemens at quarterback.
Q. The Titans finally picked up their first win today with Vince Young under center. Meaningful?
Eh, it was against Jacksonville. Let's see him against the Colts.
Q. Conversely, the Panthers surprised the Cardinals with the help of a strong performance from Jake Delhomme. Meaningless?
No. Jake Delhomme has realized that unless he does well, he'll be in St. Louis or somewhere next season.
Q. Quick digression to college ball. A lot of people find the college game to be much more entertaining than the pro game. Do you agree?
I'd say that college overtime, and the freedom to attempt more trick plays in college, make it a little more "fun".
Q. We have a new HDTV. Do you enjoy games more in HD, or does it not make that much of a difference to you?
It looks better, and I appreciate that, but it doesn't make me enjoy it more.
Q. What about video games like NCAA 10? Do they look better in HD?
YES!
Q. What's the state of the Wildcat formation at this point? Is it still an effective gimmick, or has it become so quotidian that it's no more special than, say, the shotgun spread?
I like the Wildcat, and it will be here to stay for at least a little while, but unlike the shotgun spread, it's not its own offense.
Q. Which team runs the Wildcat the best?
Miami came up with the original idea, and so has many more wrinkles to offer. They run it best.
Q. What's your favorite throwback uniform?
Either the Bills', or the yellow-helmet Steelers'.
Q. The yearly London games bespeak the NFL's determination to make American football a global sport. Would you favor adding a non-US team to the NFL? If so, which city should get the first foreign franchise?
I understand that it's important for American football to become an international sport, but for whatever reason, the idea of a team from London doesn't intrigue me. I wouldn't be incredibly opposed, though, so if there was a foreign franchise, it should probably be from London. Toronto is a good choice, but it has a CFL team.
Q. Should Los Angeles get a franchise? Which is more likely -- that it's an expansion team, or a team which relocates from somewhere else?
Expansion team. Only the Jaguars and Bills should really consider relocation.
Q. Since we're posting a day early, I challenge you to predict the EXACT FINAL SCORE of the Monday night Falcons-Saints game. Bettors, take note!
31-23 Saints. Sorry.
Q. And now comes the part where Henry gets to type whatever he wants.
With Vince Young now a starter, I wonder what the future holds for Matt Leinart.
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