Monday, November 30, 2009

NFL Week 12 Interview - Fantasy Nailbiter Edition

As we type these words, Henry's team Hypnotic is clinging to a ten-point lead over Crazy-Jay in the fourth quarter of the Monday night game -- but CJ has both Tom Brady and Wes Welker, while Hypnotic is only carrying Saints kicker John Carney. Let's hope for a second half featuring lots of long, grueling Saints drives capped by field goals....

Well, we skipped a week again, but all that does is give us more to discuss with our resident 11-year-old football analyst. Let's get to it!

Q. Couple quick questions about college football as the season draws to a close. What was your favorite game from Rivalry Weekend and why?

Cal-Stanford, from last week, because Cal won in a dramatic finish.

Q. I'd like to get your thoughts on the grisly end of the USC-UCLA contest. Do you think Pete Carroll was a bad sport to call that play-action bomb? Was Rick Neuheisel for calling a pointless time-out?

Pete Carroll was a horrible sport. That's like the definition of bad sportsmanship. As for Neuheisel, maybe it was pointless, but it wasn't bad sportmanship either.

Q. This gives us a perfect segue to the thrilling Titans-Cardinals game, which rematched former Rose Bowl foes Vince Young and Matt Leinart. How 'bout that 99-yard drive Young engineered to win the game? Has this guy finally come of age?

It appears that he has. He no longer has just raw talent, he has full-fledged talent.

Q. What about Leinart? Does he have a future as a starter after yet another mediocre performance?

Only if he's given time to develop. Remember, that was VY's fifth game. Leinart didn't know he was starting until midday, but he still isn't doing very well despite that.

Q. Another wild finish was Atlanta's triumph (in throwback gear no less) over the hapless How Much Does That Corn Cost Buck-an-Ears. Your thoughts on reliever Chris Redman?

Well, he's a great backup with starting experience. The question is, can he beat the Eagles defense?

Q. Speaking of relievers, I thought Dennis Dixon looked impressive in a losing effort for the Steelers. With Big Ben's brain rattling around inside his cranium, could Dixon be Pittsburgh's quarterback of the future?

Chances are, he'll end up as the backup quarterback of the future. Ben hasn't actually been around for too many years. Maybe in a couple years, he'll get traded to a team that will give him a chance to start.

Q. Matthew Stafford slumped a bit after a spectacular Week 9 performance. How long will it be before the Lions are truly contenders?

A few more years. Maybe it would help to sign some big-name free agents.

Q. We talked about this on our walk yesterday: What's the next move in the Raiders' rebuilding operation? Head coach? Quarterback? Will JaMarcus Russell be part of the equation?

Both. Knowing Al Davis, he'll probably get Bobby Petrino and Colt McCoy, or someone like them.

Q. The Denver Bwoncos look to be on the rebound, while the Giants are continuing their slide. Which one of these teams is most likely to make the playoffs, and why?

Denver, and they might win their division. The Giants have a very difficult schedule coming up, although they might make the playoffs anyway.

Q. Buffalo gave Perry "Rocket" Fewell his first victory, but we've been hearing rumblings (or more accurately rodent-like scrabblings) of a Return of the Ratcoach in Buffalo. Is Shanahan a good fit for this franchise?

Well, Shanahan's teams always have an identity, usually of carrying many different running backs that all contribute, and the Bills only somewhat fit in that regard. In fact, they only somewhat fit in general. I bet he'll do well if he's hired, though.

Q. Speaking of franchises, they're not calling Mark "the Sanchise" much in NYC anymore. What happened after to the ace we saw in the first few weeks of the season?

I'm not positive. Perhaps he cracked under the pressure, or simply started facing better defenses and more difficult circumstances.

Q. Philly stole one from Washington in a game which featured a few pointless Michael Vick appearances. What is this guy doing with the Eagles, anyway?

Nothing. That's the only way it can be described.

Q. I did not even watch Seattle/St. Louis, that's how disenchanted I am with this team. Where should the Seahogs' reboot begin? You mentioned a good backup QB....

Yeah, but Mike Teel could be too low of a draft pick to ever make a difference in the NFL. As I said on our walk, they could use a real running back, or the second running back of a running back-by-committee that would include Justin Forsett.

Q. Looks like Jake Delhomme will be mercifully benched by the Panthers because of an alleged finger fracture. Yeah, the exact part of the finger that causes tons of interceptions. Do you think untested backup Matt Moore can save the Cats' season?

Well, he's hardly untested. He has playing experience. Nevertheless, he's simply a mediocre quarterback, and the Cats need to win five straight to even have a chance at the playoffs, including a game against New Orleans.

Q. Cincy continues to roll, this time behind a 100-yard rushing performance by bad citizen Larry Johnson. Is it wrong that this creep is effectively being rewarded for bad behavior?

Well, he's doing a good job from someone who has gone from starter to fourth running back. But remember that he had served his suspension. The Chiefs just decided to move on.

Q. Indy pulled out a victory against Houston. Do you think this team can go undefeated?

They can, but they can't come back from every big deficit. If this keeps happening, they'll lose.

Q. Our last question is on Tim Tebow Tim Tebow. Is he as good as they say? Will he pick the top pick in next year's draft? And if so, where do you think he will end up?

No, and he'll be in either Jacksonville or Washington. That is my bold prediction.

Q. Now comes the part where Hen gets to type whatever he wants.

It's really sad that I went from starting Ronnie Brown and Brian Westbrook in fantasy football to Bernard Scott and Justin Forsett.

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